Happiness — Why It’s An Urgent Priority
Ye jagah thik hai. Aao (Is this place, okay? Come!)
Okay, hawa achi aa rahi hai yahan pe… (Okay, its nice breeze here)
Beta, tum thik se baithe ho na… Agar kuch problem hai toh andar b baith sakte hai… (With furrowed milky white eyebrows, he empathetically asked me: Son, are you comfortable here…. Else we can sit inside as well)
Nahi nahi, sab thik hai! Dadaji, Ped (tree) ke niche baithna humien bahut acha lagta hai…Aap shuru kare (No no, all good, we love sitting under the tree…you kindly start) …
Aur phir ek lambi kahani shuru hui aur kai ghanto tak chali…. (And then the story started and continued for hours) …
I recall this event today from my past.
A couple of years ago, I was spending my New Year celebration at an old age home. I love sitting with them and just listening to the stories of their struggle, learnings, success & failures, etc. They have so much to share. It is one of the happiest times of my life when I just listen to them with curiosity and enthusiasm. Like many, I have also googled many times about happiness. At some point, all of us ask this question what is Happiness?
As an executive coach myself, I wanted to learn more about Happiness. This curiosity steered me to connect with one of my friends Dr. Ashish Ambasta, Founder & CEO of Happy+ based in Mumbai & Gurgaon.
About Dr Ashish Ambasta:
Dr. Ambasta holds a Ph.D. in Positive Emotions, Happiness & Performance He is an entrepreneur and also a TEDx speaker. He is often seen on National News Channels (ABP News, Business World, etc), and his views feature in many leading National & Regional newspapers. He is also a guest lecturer at Jamnalal Bajaj Institute of Management Studies (JBIMS). He runs an NGO SEEtalks (School of Entrepreneurial Exploration), and is also part of the advisory board of Love Heals Cancer & Kindness Unlimited. He is also producing a Hindi movie and penning a book too.
Above all, he is also pursuing an LLB with an important social agenda in his mind.
I connected with him to discuss various dimensions of happiness. Here is the excerpt from our conversation:
Why this happiness is relevant?
Life is given to us to live to its fullest and leave the world in a better shape than we found it. On average, we spend ~90000 hours at the workplace. That’s roughly 2/3rd of your life, which is filled with struggles, dissatisfaction, anxiety, etc and this is not the reason for this life. We tend to overburden our life to derive all happiness from our job.
So, we need to derive happiness from more than one source and never deny things that we always wanted to do, just do it!
Portfolio life:
He used the term “Portfolio Life”. My curiosity was piqued as to what it is.
Just like our investments, one should not put all the money in one basket, similarly, happiness can’t depend only on one source. It’s about having the priorities clear & about what you expect from life. Everyone wants to be happy and consistently seeks happiness but never prioritizes it. Sadly, by the time you realize what is happiness, it’s too late. Hence diversify your source of happiness.
Human Lacuna & how to fix it:
It is true that negativity comes naturally to us (an uncalled Guest), and positivity takes effort (Special Guest, it requires invitation and persuasion). This special effort is nothing but building the right habits.
Dr. Ambasta built his company on 2 key pillars:
Firstly, Individual accountability: An individual needs to be accountable for their own happiness. If you have decided to be unhappy, no one can make you happy. If you have decided to be happy then no one can make you unhappy.
Secondly, building habits to create happiness. By constant practice of positive behavior, we can develop positive experiences. Through daily practice of acts of kindness, gratitude, mindfulness, etc, the mind gets rewired to these positive experiences. Thus, the mind automatically seeks it every day.
We humans are not immune to negative thoughts. Hence, we need to consciously gather positive experiences. As long as, your net result is positive, you will remain happy.
The true meaning of happiness:
The concept of happiness differs from person to person and relies on subjective experience. To put it simply, happiness is a “feeling” that comes when you are leading a good life. You get to do what you want to do with a sense of purpose and meaning. In fact, if your focus is only on yourself then you wouldn’t be happy. Whereas, when you make others happy, then you will be happier in long run.
Pleasure vs Happiness:
Money can buy pleasure that satisfies only your senses. Happiness is for your soul that comes only through positive experiences.
Okay, but how to build such experiences:
He professed to practice all-around life experiences embedded in his WOW (Wheel of Wonderful) life. It has 6 dimensions to cultivate positive habits (Check out HappBit App on his website):
1. Time Scale: Simple, do you see your past full of regrets and your future with worry and anxiety? Or do you see your past with positive experiences and your future with hope and optimism? Make peace with the past and move on to a hopeful future with excitement.
2. Our Being: Physical & mental well-being. Take charge of your well-being.
3. Achievements: Celebrate the smallest of victories consistently.
4. Relationship: Invest in a relationship. One can never be happy with a broken relationship.
5. Work life: Look for the right match of your skill set instead of aping someone.
6. Meaningfulness: Apply your strength for a larger good to give your life meaning.
5 recommendations for youngsters to start practicing seeking happiness right from the early stage of life:
- Make happiness a priority, it’s a must
- Practice positive habits daily
- Take personal accountability for your happiness
- Do something daily which brings happiness to others
- Give more, the more you give more you get. Service before self should be the motto
Common Myth on Happiness:
- Money, fame, and power can make us happy. Its not true!
- Not doing anything and just lazing around, with the world’s best service at your doorstep will make you happy. Quite the opposite, you will get bored soon and start craving for work.
- Live life as it comes. Be happy with what you get. Partially true, as long as it’s not harming you or anyone else.
- Power to control others. To the contrary, it’s best to control ourselves and our actions.
- Constantly reacting gives a high. Instead, practice the art of responding than reacting. Learn Sama bhav (equanimity).
What keeps him motivated every day:
He says: Every day is fresh. What I have achieved is now ‘The Past’. Think about what I can achieve more. Don’t just dream, work on actions. My actions with consistency have more power than my dreams. Let my curiosity drive me toward the mission & the purpose of Happy+ Consulting.
On that note, we realized have spoken for long hours and yet find many more aspects to explore. With a promise to connect again in the future, we ended our conversation.
I sincerely hope this article invokes awareness of Happiness, our accountability toward our own happiness, and our relationship with others.
As I shared my happiness story above, please do share what’s your happiness story.
I wish you & your family a very Happy New Year 2023 and hope this year brings all Happiness in your and your loved ones’ lives.
