Have Great Plans and Big Goals but Never Follow Through?
Research Shows Why.
Understand the Notorious Intention-Behavior Gap and Ways to Fix It.
The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
Have you ever wondered why in god’s name, you don’t do what you want to do? Like, even if you so badly want to reach a goal, your best intentions simply don’t transpire into actions.
You set big goals and make ambitious plans, but some intangible factor — something beyond yourself- stops you. And you just can’t put your finger on it.
Psychologists have also been baffled by this paradox they call the “intention-behavior gap.” Thankfully, there has been a lot of interest in understanding why good intentions don’t always translate into good actions.
Let me share what research has uncovered about the origins of this rather frustrating problem and how we can use this information to bridge that gap.
A problem of multiple origins.
Like most complex issues in life, there is no single reason why you don’t do what you want to do.
While many factors, like your personality and external environment, can determine whether you follow through with your plans, let’s focus on aspects within our grasp of influence.
Among the most important factors determining whether you stick to your plans or give up your goals, the top ones are the quality and nature of your goals and intentions.
The goals you choose and how you set them affect your chances of success.
a. Goal difficulty:
Research on goal setting has found that big goals spark greater motivation and increase the chances of achieving them.
But, there is a caveat. Your goals should be big enough to challenge you but not too big that they frighten you.
This is particularly true when you are setting goals in uncharted territories. As a beginner, you are likely to be super motivated but have limited skills, knowledge, and experience to know what is realistically achievable.
For example, running a marathon sounds sexier than running a 5K. But, if you have never run before, a 5k run is a smarter target to set.
Talking to someone who has done it before can help you set realistic targets and learn the process of reaching your goals.
Big, ambitious goals are notorious for inducing performance anxiety, fear, and self-doubt.
If your current goals make you feel inadequate or dent your confidence, they are likely too ambitious and unrealistic.
Scale them down into smaller, realistic and achievable ones. As you progress, you can set increasingly challenging goals to crush.
b. Goal desire and commitment:
Now be honest: how serious are you about playing the banjo? ( insert any other goal on your current list).
Does your goal keep you up at night, or is it just a thing fancy doing cos everybody else is doing it?
How much are you willing to invest, and what are you ready to trade to get to the top?
Is there a burning desire to reach your goals or a flicker that dies when things get tough?
If your goal doesn’t pull you or the commitment seems too big, chances are you will not act on it.
If you keep putting off things, it is time to be honest and ask, “ Do I truly want this?”
c. Goal priority:
The problem with studying goal-related behaviors in the lab is that the study participants are trying to do just one thing. But, in reality, we are juggling multiple goals and trying to keep them all in the air.
Trying to stay fit, make prudent financial decisions, raise kids, and keep a job without losing your mind is a big ask. Who has all the time, energy, and resources- to do it all at once?
This does not mean you shouldn’t want them all. You must instead prioritize your goals and crack them one after the other.
How do you eat an elephant?
One bite at a time.
How do you eat a herd of elephants?
One elephant at a time.
This concept of goal hierarchy, where we rank our goals based on their importance, helps us decide which tasks to invest our resources in.
“All goals are equal, but some goals are more equal than others.”
Your goal hierarchy and priorities will change depending on where you are in life. Tell yourself it is okay to put some goals on the back burner- at least for now.
d. Goal conflict:
Can your goals clash?
Staying fit and socializing with friends might be your top two priorities.
But what if your friends only want to throw pizza parties and booze all weekend?
Having multiple goals competing for your attention and clashing with each other is a big bummer when it comes to goal achievement.
If this is the case, you might have to give one up or devise an innovative compromise. You can decide to cook a healthier meal at home with friends or invite them to play football.
Finding creative solutions to merge your goals greatly increases your chances of achieving them.
What drives you, and how strong is your intention?
The intention is the fuel that drives behavior, and having the right intention is just as important as having the right goals.
Our emotions, beliefs, attitudes, and identity shape our intentions and motivations strongly but subtly.
For example, we are more motivated to do even difficult things if they align with our self-identity.
It is simply who I am: The power of self-identity.
A friend of mine runs and cycles through rain, snow, and storm. Once, he ran 20 km from his home to attend a team dinner!
“But why this madness?” I asked. “Are you training for a running event?”
His answer shocked me. “No. It is just what I do. I am a runner,” he replied.
If you are serious about achieving your goals, make them a part of who you are.
Hoping to lose weight? You are a fitness enthusiast.
Taking watercolor art lessons? You are now a budding artist.
Learning the guitar? Call yourself a musician.
Our identities are so dear to us that we will fight to protect them. You will be willing to face any challenge and do what it takes to reach your goals because, as my friend says, “It is just what you do.”
You do what you feel, not what you think.
Humans are neither simple thinking machines nor automatons that behave predictably. We are emotional, complex, messy, and poorly understood beings.
We are driven by beliefs, emotions, attitudes, and identities that function silently underneath a tiny portion of the brain that thinks (and thinks it is the boss). Even what we think is heavily influenced by our feelings.
And regret is a strong emotion that can change people’s behavior in powerful ways.
“What will you regret if you don’t achieve your goals?” is a loaded question that will shake up your motivation.
In experiments, prompting people to reflect on what they will regret (psychologist call this anticipated regret) is enough to increase engagement in goal pursuit.
This introspection will also show you how much your goals actually mean to you and if you should be pursuing them, to begin with.
What does it all mean, and what should you do next?
One thing is very clear: We cannot just “think” (have intentions) and expect to produce an “action” (behavior). Period.
We need a deeper understanding of ourselves. If you need help understanding your problem, ask why you want what you want. What you would regret if you didn’t achieve it.
If you have the right intention and motivation, rethink your goal-setting strategies as discussed above.
Be curious to know more about yourself and use it to your advantage.
To sum up:
While there is no magic pill to solve the intention-behavior gap, the good news is YOU already have the answers. You just have to look inside and dig deep, and you will be surprised by what you find!
Carpe Diem!
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