Having Roommates is a Good Thing
Why I’m Grateful for my Quarantine Family
Here’s the thing…
Most college students make a goal to get a job right after they graduate that could pay well enough to support themselves living alone. Then, when they are in their twenties and have the dream job, but finally understand that they live in an expensive city, they make the new goal to earn a promotion that pays well enough for them to live on their own.
To put it simply, a lot of 25 year-old’s join the work hustle to get to a place where they can avoid roommates.
I had that. I was making 2X my income from 2018 and 2019 combined. I was traveling the world, doing the career I loved and making the money that would finally give me a comfortable lifestyle.
By February 2020, I knew I only had 3 months before the next job. Yes, I could afford a downtown studio for 3 months and dig into my new money-holding-device called a savings account.
But, by the grace of some higher power, I swear, my two friends, Emily and Sandra*, contacted me with a proposition. They had been living in Brooklyn with Emily’s family for a year and had found this apartment that was their dream home.
Let’s Move In!
Emily and Sandra were both working professionals with careers adjacent to the arts. They didn’t need another roommate as a money-cushion, but offered for me to stay with them for those three months regardless.
I would get to live with my friends and keep my savings. Of course I said yes!
On March 8th, 2020, I came down to the city and stayed with Emily’s family. The apartment was getting final touches by the owner, so while the girls were at work that week, I decided to pick up some catering shifts at my old job. I am a total workaholic and even though I didn’t need the money, I needed something to do during my three month stay.
Yet, as the week went on, some strange things began to happen. One by one, I was losing shifts for the following week.
On March 14th, we were making the final preparations before completely moving in. Sandra’s parent’s came into town to help us, and we all had dinner with Emily’s family. At dinner, we ate corned beef and cabbage, since St. Patty’s day had been canceled due to this “coronavirus” thing and we chatted about how there were rumors that the city would shut down.
This was the last celebration we all had together.
The next day was Sunday. Everything was moved into the house, but we now needed to unpack everything. Emily was at her parent’s grabbing one last bag. That’s when she got the call that she was let go from her job.
On Monday, Sandra went into work as usual and received a notification that she would have to pick up her things from the office and begin working from home.
It seemed that the next few weeks were not going to go how we planned.
Quarantine.
The first two weeks went by slowly. Sandra and Emily would work from the living room, as Emily was meant to finish working for two more weeks, and we joked that I was the “office manager”. I would clean, continue to unpack and provide some snacks.
Once Emily finished her 2 weeks, we decided that we needed to get some hobbies. We ordered our craft sets and continued to monitor the news.
I’ve written about my personal situation during the pandemic in other works of mine, which you can check out here.
Having no information, our only understanding of the virus at this time was that anyone can catch it, anywhere, and it is extremely deadly.
We had horrible anxiety with the situation.
Yet, more importantly, we had each other.
The Good Stuff
I’m happy to say that once we were more informed about how to keep ourselves safe, most of my memories during this dark time in NYC will be happy memories with these girls.
“Don’t worry, things will be normal by next month”.
Hours of puzzling, netlfix binges and family zoom calls took up a lot of the last 6 months. “Birthday in Quarentine” number one came along, and then number two.
So many Seamless food orders.
Late night nostalgia chats, game nights and hilariously epic waterbug catches. Family vacations to Vermont this summer, filled with ice cream nights and Emily experimenting with new dinner recipes. Dog watching, hugs, laughter, and hope that “Don’t worry, things will be normal by next month”.
The Bad Stuff (That Made Us Stronger)
However, we also had each other to lean on in some of our darkest moments.
The panic attacks. Discussions about how each of us would ever be able to see our loved ones again without getting anyone sick on accident. The hard conversations about understanding our part in white supremacy. Dealing with and discussing the multiple rape scandals that had come out from our alma mater. The crippling confusion and frustration with how our government has dealt with the pandemic.
I never new love and sacrifice like this before. Which, sounds dramatic. But, let be real. It was really traumatic to live in New York City as thousands of people were dying and no end in sight. It was really traumatic to all have parents that were susceptible to catching this disease, seemingly unavoidably, and not being able to go to them and help them. It was traumatic to know people who died and see people within the community of our neighborhood or work industry also die.
It was traumatic to hear that people in our own country did not want to help us, that our fellow ‘Americans’ didn’t believe in these numbers, that there were actually people that didn’t believe in the many families throughout the Five Boroughs that were completely wiped out.
No one can do ‘life’ completely alone
I’m grateful for these girls.
I know many people who had to go through quarantine, and will go through the rest of this pandemic year, alone.
As young, working people in America, we have been so focused on fighting the ‘Millennial Stereotype’ that we can’t support ourselves. The truth is, however, that we can’t! No one can do ‘life’ completely alone, especially with so many other factors we have going against us. We need to stop this dangerous narrative that being successful means being alone.
Neither my roommates, nor I have a job. We lost our jobs, one by one through all this. When we had no one to turn to, when it felt like no one would care or be able to help us, we had each other to look to.
Community is so important during a time like this. Yes, it is okay to want to be alone sometimes. To an extent, it is also okay to set a goal to live alone, if that what you really want.
However, we need to stop telling ourselves that success is based on how exclusionary we can make our personal lives. Because at the end of the day, something unexpected and unavoidable can happen, and you want to have a community or a chosen family that you can turn to.
I’d like to end this piece by thanking Emily and Sandra, as well as their families. Without them, I would have no one to turn to during this time. They made this strange experience feel normal when I was with them.
I can’t wait to see my actual, blood family soon, after so much time apart, but I’m happy that when it felt like the world was ending for that split moment, I had you to turn to.
*Names changed for privacy
