How a Visiting Student Rediscovered Himself on the Other Side of the Globe
3 Takeaways from 6 Months in the United States
Overview
In my senior year, I spent one semester at Northern Kentucky University where not a day passed by that I wasn’t satisfied with what I experienced.
NKU was full of international students from all backgrounds. I was fortunate enough to have met students from Europe, the Middle East, Latin America, and Asia. I still miss living on campus, grabbing a glass of dollar beer Thursday night at the German Bar, and occasionally swinging by Tavern.
Two years into my career, I decide to reflect on some of the greatest lessons proved to be true, at least to myself, during this period before moving on to the next chapter of my life. I am writing because few people around me share their most valuable life lessons publicly. Nonetheless, I am happy to put mine in writing and give back values to the community, especially to students in their penultimate years in university. Hopefully, you’ll find this article helpful and boost your mental strength knowing that you’re not alone amid juggling summer internships with other parts of your life.
Reflections
Surround Yourself with Like-Minded People
This is not to say that you should form an army of yourself wherever you go, but to realize that the environment in which you live, work, and study plays a critical role in achieving your ultimate goals. Undoubtedly, the fact that you are different, or even an exception, in a group or organization can sometimes place burdens or create dilemmas against your goals, simply as a result of social identity.
One way I found useful in finding like-minded individuals is to keep all the avenues open. I love road cycling — I try to find road cyclists around. I love history — I try to find people who also do. I love math — I try to find people who are better at it and learn from them. The list goes on and on. Over time, not only do I build various interests, but most importantly I secure like-minded people in literally every aspect of my life. Although most of the time I am not accompanied by the likes, I know they are within reach for a quality talk when I need them most.
An example where this network of connection comes in handy is when you (occasionally, I hope) are being too harsh on yourself. While taking ownership is a good habit, it can sometimes cause a downward spiral in which I spend too much time blaming myself. A good way to counteract this effect — simply surround yourself with like-minded people. Sometimes you just have to hear somebody else say it, even if the solution has already presented itself. As my connections grow, the network itself works very much like a community based on trust, mutual care, and knowledge. One is willing to help another knowing that others would do the same.
Dare Challenge the Status Quo
Take education for example, in Taiwan, especially in high school years, students are told to keep their heads down and learn to listen. The result is that most teachers grab a bottle of water to whichever classroom they go, to survive the upcoming hour because in each classroom the teacher lecturing is the only person expected to speak. From time to time teachers would ask whether anyone has a question, though they might not expect one. It is not uncommon that when a student does raise his/her hand, others stare in question as though the class has been interrupted. I guess people are so used to switching their brains into airplane mode that they do not even expect others to speak. For those who are eager to learn by interactions, the more they ask, the more staring they face from peers. To a certain point, an average person would stop asking questions during lectures, but rather go to the pedestal during recess, so there is almost always a line, another reason for teachers to fill up their bottle of water. Unsurprisingly, students are underdeveloped in (public) speaking, asking constructive questions, critical thinking, and debating meaningfully in a public/academic context.
However, my aspiration to greatness told me that was not the kind of student I wanted to be, despite what greatness was remained unclear to me at the time.
During that semester at NKU, I had the opportunity to immerse myself in highly interactive lectures, take different points of view, and tackle one problem from multiple angles. In the course of Consumer Behavior, the professor would always challenge us to come up with new ideas to the same question, so the classroom was always filled with conversations. There were 5 projects to complete by the end of the semester, including fieldwork, survey design, and cold interviews. We formed groups, exchanged ideas, and debated over topics. This was my kind of learning! Even though I’ve been doing so since I attended elementary school, it wasn’t quite the style of learning in my home country. When the professor, who was originally from India, addressed me as “my Asian friend,” I was more than grateful to have been in the same room.
To err on the side of clarity, it is worth mentioning that I probably would not have been so keen to study abroad had I chosen to go with the flow throughout my upbringing, had I chosen to be a “good student” — a test machine — promoted by the culture in which I lived and studied during my formative years. Traveling across Europe, North America, and different parts of Asia, I was continuously in awe of how differently people think, speak, and behave in different cultures around the world. I am always grateful for the people I have met around the globe, as they are a great reminder of how tiny I am on my own, and yet how this world is too magnificent to not be explored.
“Luck is where hard work and opportunities meet.”
But Plan Ahead!
I wouldn’t have met the same people I met, however, if I hadn’t spoken fluent English and Chinese. I wasn’t raised in a bilingual environment, though out of pure interest for the language, I learned English much of the way Rich Brian did. In short, I tricked my brain into a bilingual mode where I talked to myself in English, even though I wasn’t 100% bilingual yet. In retrospect, languages landed the foundation of how I would connect with people around the world.
While the world today is trying to make most individuals the same, do you dare to be different?
“What would you do if you weren’t afraid?”
I first came across this quote reading Jacky Wang’s article. It resonates with me so much that I wish I could’ve translated this mindset into words earlier in my life.
Success is a result of countless failures in which small increments are made one at a time. We know this. Yet, if I hadn’t been decisive enough to ignore the generalization of what education should be in my culture, if ever I had chosen not to believe in myself in the process, my goals wouldn’t have come to fruition. This leads to my final point:
What People Think of You Does Not Matter, What You Think of Yourself Does
Occasional self-checks are healthy; constant doubts are harmful and can lead to self-delusion. I am sure when Zengzi said “I examine myself three times a day,” he was referring to the former. Unless your actions could harm others, I suppose being really different is okay, given that it is within your right to do so. Even if you are an outlier of any kind, consider placing more emphasis on the uniqueness you possess and the underlying value it brings. If you cannot be confident about yourself, who will?
Summary
- Surround yourself with like-minded people— Sometimes you just have to hear somebody say it, even if the solution has presented itself.
- Challenge the status quo — Don’t go with the flow if the flow is against your will.
- What people think of you doesn’t matter, what you think of yourself does — If you cannot be confident about yourself, who will?
What started as a 6-month journey ended up being the culmination of years of self-discovery. It is hard to overstate how greatly I benefited from these 3 takeaways, but it is safe to say that one crucial learning is to take the small steps first:
“Be patient with results, impatient with actions.” — Naval Ravikant
In and out of the corporate world, I firmly believe that there are 2 fantastic ways to gauge one’s incremental success — by either counting the number of weird looks you get (to be more specific, when you’re so sure that you’re on the right path toward a goal even if you’re the only one willing to take the risks, this is the impression you get because people who have the same goal have marked this path unfeasible and are still in awe of the extent of your taking risks), or measuring your level of confidence at which it is high enough for you to share the failures along the way. To this point, you know you’ve internalized those failures and turned them into motivation. More importantly, you know where you’re heading despite the objections, criticisms, disbelief, etc.
Special thanks to Kuan Chen, Jacky Wang, and Nykarlis Santos Nunez for reviewing!
