How Did I Act, Despite Fear?
“Acknowledge it. Be Brave to it. And push it through to move forward.” — Allyson Felix
How does it feel to experience the first job transition during poor market conditions and the trending layoff period?
It wasn’t pleasant. At least, my body sent multiple signals to me about how stressed I was during the transitioning period. I had a massive breakout on my face. I couldn’t fall asleep at night. My nights were emotional at the time.
Now that I thought back to the transition period, I have three main stages of fear.
1. Not Able to Find Another Job
More specifically, I was afraid that I would not find another job that fit my needs to provoke further professional and personal growth.
Can you imagine sending more than 100 resumes without hearing a reply from each? Or a quick turnaround automatic email that starts with “Unfortunately.”
The reality in the last couple of years and nowadays is the market conditions have more competitive professionals in the demand pool relative to opening job positions in the supply pool.
2. Got an Ideal Offer, but… (a big “BUT”)
Despite the market conditions, I was still relatively fortunate because it only took me about six months to land an offer I had high hopes for. However, I was more stressed relative to the days I did not receive the offer because I kept thinking about the “What ifs” questions.
At the time, I engaged in a vicious cycle of thinking like the following:
- What if the new position is not “better” than my current one?
- What if I quit my current job and they took back the offer?
- What if I joined the new position, but they would soon engage in another round of layoffs?
3. Self Doubt
After thinking about all the external bad scenarios, I started questioning myself since the new position had a different focus than my first role.
Do I qualify for the new position?
Do I have the necessary skills to succeed in the new position?
Why did I do it despite all my fears?
Even if I don’t have the most empowering mentality, they did not stop me from taking action. The main reason is that I have a strong “why” to engage myself in this process.
First, I looked to change jobs not just for fun but because of numerous reasons. I had once asked myself, was it because I couldn’t find the right work-life balance in that position that led me to crave change? Was it because my first role was too far to commute? I don’t deny they were part of the factors, but I knew my first role also pushed me to a recognition stage. I noticed my first role was no longer offering me room to improve, and I knew I wanted to advance my professional skills to enhance my ability and competency.
When I talked with people in my community, I noticed they had similar feelings. However, they did not initiate the action because they were preparing themselves and were waiting for the “right” timing to change. Most of them were waiting for the market to “recover.”
I could have done the same thing to trap myself in the preparation stage, like advancing my interview skills and earning “all” the necessary certificates to enhance my competency before exposing myself to the market. Yet, I understand that the “right” timing won’t come if I don’t take literal action.
I can advance my interview skills by applying to jobs and practicing them as I proceed with my job search journey.
I can improve my competency simultaneously with my job search.
The only thing I can’t and don’t want to do is wait. Because who knows what’s going to happen in the future? All I have control over is the present, and I want to leverage it to greet my future self with pride instead of letting magic kick into my life in an unknown future.
How did I manage my fear?
Allyson Felix gave a great speech to share her story of overcoming fear when she found out she’d soon be a mother that could interrupt her athletic career (Felix, 2022). She offered great advice on how to prevent unease from dominating our actions. In turn, it helped me to act in terror.
Acknowledge
Rethink it
Socialize it
Finally, it came to dealing with internal self-doubt. The way I manage it is by sharing it with my close friends.
The benefit of opening up about my insecurity and vulnerability to my loved ones is hearing genuine feedback and a distinctive perspective from someone other than my self-criticism.
One empowering comment I received from my friend that plummeted my self-doubt was, “The reason you got the offer is because your hiring manager has faith in your competency to bring value to the company.” This phrase would not have shown up in my mind if I hadn’t opened up the discussion with her to communicate my anxiety.
To wrap up, I want to leave Felix’s quote:
[The optimal way to overcome fear] is to acknowledge it. Be brave about it. And push it through to move forward.
Because at the end of the day, no rejections, fears, self-doubt, or any other negativities would mark a period in our lives; only inaction would.
Reference
Felix, Allyson. (2022, April). An Olympic Champion’s Mindset for Overcoming Fear [Video]. TED Conferences. Link
