How I Joined The Millionaire Next Door Club
Quiet Millionaires Value Privacy and Financial Discipline
I'm the private type. I like to keep politics, religion, and wealth accumulation to myself. Even before a person acquires wealth, they choose whether to adopt a lavish or a private, frugal lifestyle. Values, long-term goals, privacy, and satisfaction are all traits that influence your lifestyle choices.
There was a time I felt a need to "educate" others on values I embraced, like privacy and frugality. Once, I purchased a contracting company and assumed the sales manager role to learn the business. I called on general contractors to request they include our business on their list of approved contractors.
Judging Others by Appearances Has No Value
On one such occasion, I met with a junior-level project manager, Brian, who worked for a prominent sizeable general contractor in the area. The meeting was cordial. Brian assured me we would receive a prompt response regarding our subcontractor acceptance.
As he escorted me to the parking lot, he noticed my vehicle, an eight-year-old minivan.
"Is that your minivan?" he exclaimed.
"Yes," I've been chauffeuring my kids for eight years."
With a smirk, he replied, "You'll have trouble working with reputable contractors if you drive that car!"
Despite his scolding, I felt motivated to help him see another perspective, frugality, and privacy.
I drove to the nearest bookstore and purchased a copy of The Millionaire Next Door by Thomas J. Stanley and William D. Danko. I mailed it to Brian with a note, "This is who I am; I think you should read this."
A few weeks later, I received an acceptance letter indicating he had added our company to the list of approved contractors.
Don't Let Criticism Go To Your Heart
When Brian made his comment, my response was triggered by my personal values. At the time, I was privately working towards my goal of accumulating one million dollars through a disciplined approach.
I lacked awareness that I was also passing judgment on Brian for his lifestyle choices. Instead of judging him, I could have smiled and accepted our differences.
Courage gives you the ability to release yourself from the criticisms of others.
“Don’t let compliments go to your head, and don’t let criticisms go to your heart. The degree to which you do either of these things is the degree to which you’ll be ruled by what other people think of you.”— Lysa TerKeurst
Financial Discipline Includes Paying Yourself First
Staying focused and disciplined on your goals is more important than worrying about others' criticisms. Criticism is an external distraction. If you let it, it will shift you away from your goals.
The Millionaire Next Door highlights how millionaires accumulate wealth through financial discipline, frugal habits, and long-term planning. It emphasizes net worth over income and expenses. The millionaires interviewed commonly adhere to the "pay yourself first" principle and have the financial discipline to follow through.
In another story I wrote on Medium, "Six Questions Keep Me Focused On My Moonshot Goal," I summarized Plato's famous analogy of the charioteer and his horses. As the story goes, the chariot driver's job is to direct the disciplined horse and the free-spirited horse to maintain the same direction and keep from steering off-course. The goal is to not let the free-spirited horse distract you and take you off-course.
The story illustrates the difficulty of staying on task and not getting distracted from achieving your goals.
Summary
Ignoring comments like Brian's from people who judge others on perceived consumption patterns or wealth status can be challenging.
You can use self-talk to remind yourself there is no value in going around pointing out what's wrong with people. I was just fine even if I was driving an old vehicle. Right and wrong is perception. Besides, I told myself, other contractors may not be as judgemental.
In sending Brian a copy of the book, I hoped he might consider another point of view about his perception of wealth. Maybe he did, maybe he didn't. Values are deeply personal, so I will never know.
Either way, we were added to their acceptable subcontractor's list and, ultimately, became successful bidders on several future projects. I don't know about Brian, but I joined The Millionaire Next Door Club.
