How I Learned to Make Anxiety My Superpower
Throughout much of my life I’ve lived with a sickening pit in my stomach, racing heart, and the “never good enough” talk-track that I’m sure many can relate to. It has propelled me to high heights, but for all the wrong reasons. When my anxiety is getting the better of me, I am a people-pleaser, constantly stressed and overwhelmed. I take on too much. I feel completely isolated from the people I love. I can become angry, especially when I perceive someone as questioning me. I feel suffocated.
I don’t know where this concept originated — but I’ve long called anxiety my “unreliable narrator”. The idea being that in my own mind, I can convince myself of all kinds of tall tales. My anxiety can replay events and “narrate them” in a way that sheds the most terrible light.
It wasn’t until I began to re-focus the way that I thought about anxiety, that I was able to use it as a tool, rather than allow it to be used against me.
When I’m in control of my anxiety:
- I’m thoughtful, responsible, and attentive
- I’m an excellent planner, strategist, and able to anticipate risks
- I’m caring and supportive of those I love
- I am productive, effective, and a high-performer
Anxiety is a focusing-agent, a powerful force that pushes me towards my goals. Left un-checked and unused, it can run rampant, growing and overwhelming me. But when I’m channelling my anxiety, I’m able to use that energy to my benefit. At my best, I am hyper-focused, results driven and organized. I channel my anxiety towards creative thinking. I catch the little things that may be missed by others. When using it to my advantage, anxiety motivates me to action, and brings my attention to what matters.
But how did I get there?
Practical Tips for Harnessing the Power of Your Anxiety
It all starts with embracing yourself, and choosing to face and feel your anxiety, rather than resisting its discomfort.
- Journalling — By writing down my thoughts and feelings (as they are, without judgement), particularly when I’m anxious, I’ve slowly been able to sort through the “fact and fiction” of my unreliable narrator. I’ve learned to sift through the thoughts that are helpful and harmful. This doesn’t always come easy. But reflecting on my day-to-day moments brings powerful perspective.
- Reframe your thinking — It’s not an immediate solve. It won’t take away the “icky feelings”. But when you shift your thinking about anxiety into a positive light, you can begin to ask yourself, “how can I use this feeling?” Anxiety is energy. Left unchecked it can be harmful. Harnessed, it can be useful. Ask your self how you can use today’s energy for your good.
- Make a List — When the “panic alarm” starts screaming, make a list of things that are bringing you discomfort. Add the items you need to accomplish, the things you are worried about — be as detailed as you can. Then cross off the things you can’t control. When you can visually see the things that are causing you anxiety, you can either tackle them one-by-one, or cross them off of your “mental list”. (Note: some days, you won’t know what or why… on days like this, I try to focus the energy and my thinking towards something good. But that’s not always possible. If I can’t, I rest. I try again tomorrow. Not every day or every feeling can be a good one, and I accept myself on good days and bad.)
- Call anxiety by its name — one thing I’ve learned on my journey is just how powerful shame is. Shame can keep me down and out, cowering in defeat. I don’t want to admit that I struggle. But when I hide, or try to pretend, it keeps me sick. One of the lessons children learn in their early years, is naming and understanding their feelings. I find comfort in doing the same — “I’m feeling anxious”. When I name the feeling, and acknowledge it’s presence, I’m able to process it and use it.
If anxiety and it’s unreliable narrator are part of your day-to-day life experience, try using these tips to harness its power, rather than let it overpower you. But if today isn’t your day, know this: there are days when I’m not productive. There are days when anxiety gets the better of me. I’ve reached a point where I have more bad days than good, but the bad days still come. On those days, I rest and I listen to what my heart needs. There is a difference between over-productivity, hyper-productivity, and people-pleasing in order to soothe anxiety, and learning how to find a healthy balance amidst very real feelings. I see you. I hear you. We’ll try again tomorrow.
