How My Trip Abroad Made Me Realize That Getting Older Doesn’t Have to Be a Sad Experience
Reflections from a 30 + year old
I had just returned from a long trip abroad to Romania to finally see my family who I had not seen since I was a young child. It was a pleasant surprise to meet family I had not even met before finally.
They had welcomed me with open arms and had shown me so much love and endearment. With that said, I almost did not want to leave, but I knew I had other responsibilities awaiting me from across the pond.
However, one negative thing that stuck with me while I was in the country was the ever-present nostalgia that lingered around me regarding how much time had passed and how many things weren’t the same anymore.
“Everybody has cars now,” I pointed out to my mom while visiting her childhood village. “I don’t even see any farm animals around.”
In the past, I frequently would see cows or pigs running amuck and unattended.
“A lot has changed over the years,” was the only response my mom could utter as she too had noticed the differences over the years. We were visiting her old childhood home. There was so much dust, clutter, and memorabilia throughout the house. Just a subtle hint of melancholy memories came from my mother and her sisters.
After meeting my great aunt with my mother and her sisters, she embraced us all so tightly. Tears formed in her eyes as she saw from our faces how much time had passed.
“My young nieces,” she’d say, “I’m so glad to see all of you here together again like old times.”
Her words hung heavy in the air, a painful reminder of just how much the years had moved on since our last visit. As we looked around the village, the transformations were unmistakable. The dirt roads we once played on as children were now paved, the open fields had given way to new homes and businesses. Even the familiar sights and sounds seemed muted, a vague shadow of what they once were.
We’d all sit and cry as we leafed through old photo albums, reminiscing about how much time had passed so quickly. With each old photograph we flipped through, every memory recounted, a profound sense of melancholy washed over me. Each of my aunts and uncles appeared so vibrantly youthful and so fresh-faced about the world. I spotted my older cousins when they were just children and they looked so innocent and curious.
I tried to hold back the tears that were attempting to wash over me to no avail. My mother reached over to pat my shoulder. “Isn’t youth so beautiful?”
I sat and pondered over the words she used while everybody nodded their approval to what she was saying.
Still, I couldn’t help but think about how beautiful it is to age as well, as I was in the presence of what I closely envisioned an elderly council within the family to be.
“Why do people only celebrate youth?” I thought.
Over time, I learned more about my extended family during my stay there and a little more about my ancestry; where my grandfather’s family came from and even my grandmother’s side as well.
However, most importantly, I picked up on how important it was to spend time with family and loved ones and how important it is to grow older with one another.
Even though aging is not exactly what’s trending nowadays, growing old doesn’t have to be a sad thing if you look at it from a different perspective. These are some of the things I have learned on my own about growing older.
“Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.” — Groucho Marx
Getting Older is a Privilege That is Not Guaranteed
Some of us have experienced loss early in our lives. Either a loved one, friend, or beloved pet had passed and sometimes it was too soon and they were quite young.
I never met my grandmother, she had passed before I was born — she was only fifty-eight years old.
My aunt passed away a few years ago at a young age. She was still in her thirties. I still remember how many people cried and expressed how she had left us too soon.
Too soon — whether we like it or not, it seems that life is meant to be lived through all its seasons and tribulations, and depending on how we see it, life can be a blessing.
These days, I try to savor each moment and be present in the journey rather than lament the inevitable changes aging brings. My grandmother and aunt may have departed too soon, but their memories inspire me to embrace every year as the remarkable privilege it truly is. Growing old is a reminder to live fully, to find wonder in each new phase of life’s great adventure.
Our Dreams and Aspirations can Change
Part of what makes us feel young is our ability to dream and have passions. Sometimes, our dreams can take on new forms. Maybe you had goals and aspirations to become a nurse, but after having a child, you learned a lot about being a mom and about nontoxic living, so you decided to write a blog about it.
Perhaps you desired a career change and thought that you disliked anything technology-related until a friend introduced you to an aspect that you liked about it. You decide to go forward with learning those technical skills to help you find a new job and help you gain a new passion.
But as we go through the course of our lives, things usually don’t go exactly as we had mapped out in our heads. Our dreams and goals shift based on the experiences we have and the new responsibilities that come our way.
That teacher dream I had as a 7-year-old changed once I became an adult and realized I enjoyed writing instead. This provided an entirely different direction than I originally envisioned after years of forming a new passion.
Where am I going with this?
Simply put, we are not always predestined to a specific path, part of growing older is realizing the many different aspects or versions of ourselves that we can get to know and actualize later on in life. Wouldn’t you want to know what those things are?
The Ability to Become Wiser
I know as cliche as it may sound, the older you are the wiser. Essentially, the longer we are on planet Earth, the more experiences we can gain and learn from. Not everybody experiences the same things throughout life (that’s why some people may appear wiser than others in some ways even if they are younger.)
Yet even so, you can still learn different things and grow as a person. One personal example I can share is my struggle with regulating my emotional responses to things. Whenever I would get infuriated about something that someone did, I would lash out either by being passive-aggressive or maybe even yelling or raising my voice.
I realized through my experiences that you may not always be able to control what someone else does or says, but you can control how you react to it. Although I am not perfect, the many experiences I had regarding my anger towards things and how I reacted, helped me to react in better healthier ways, such as allowing myself to feel out my emotions and wait before responding like taking deep breaths and learning to communicate effectively has helped to improve the quality of my life.
Now that we established that not everybody gets the chance to age, that our dreams can change and alter our course of reality, and our experiences can improve our lives, we can now see that life is more than just being chronologically young and chasing the look of youth. Sometimes we have to celebrate and embrace the new experiences that have made us feel young and improved and shaped us to be who we are today.
Of course, there will be times when we feel nostalgic for our younger selves or sad about how quickly time passes. A little melancholic nostalgia is normal as we age. But we should also celebrate the lessons we’ve learned, the unexpected new paths our lives have taken, and the small awakenings that come with each new stage we enter. It’s these kinds of experiences that make us feel energized, vibrant, and “young” in a deeper sense beyond just physical age.
Again, as cliche as it may sound, life is a journey, and you are only as old as you feel. Be gracious in whatever circumstances this journey called life takes you on.
Thank you for reading!
Anna Maria Aparaschivei is a newfound writer who enjoys writing about self-development, mindfulness, and authentic living. If you like, please follow and subscribe for more content!
