How Not To Drive People Mad

Please leave your attitude and aggression at the door.

Liam Ireland
Nov 30, 2020 · 3 min read
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Photograph by kind courtesy of Pixabay

At the risk of upsetting a few feminists, and I am a male feminist and totally support the cause in terms of equality, I have an amusing little story that still to this day tickles me somewhat.

Many years ago I worked in car sales and I have to say it was a very enjoyable time. One day a couple came in on a motorbike and came to chat with me at my desk.

The woman was so aggressive I was treading on eggshells right from the get go. I asked their names and she quite assertively insisted on being referred to as Mz. No problem, that is your right and I am happy to comply, especially if I can get a car sale out of it.

When all the paperwork was done we went out for a test-drive. Her husband asked to drive first, which meant she would have to sit in the back. I was in the passenger seat next to her husband politely pointing out all the controls. Indicators, wipers, lights, horn etc. And off we went for a run in the country.

After a short while I suggested we pull into a pub carpark to change drivers, to allow the good lady the chance to drive the car. Her husband got out and went in the back and she got in the driver’s seat.

Now as she had been unsighted at the start of our test drive and didn’t see the controls I had pointed out, for safety sake, I did the same routine of pointing out all the controls. She did not like this at all. She turned and in a very condescending and aggressive manner snapped at me.

“What, do you think because I’m a woman I don’t know how to drive a car?“

“No, not at all, I just thought because you were unsighted at the start……”

She just glared at me as if I had insulted her intelligence. So I just said "When you’re ready then." and I shut up.

She looked to the front, dipped the clutch, engaged first gear, released the handbrake and……she stalled the car. I said nothing, She stalled the car six times more and sent the car kangaroo-ing across the pub carpark.

By this time I could hear a strange noise coming from the rear. Her husband had his hand across his mouth to try to hide the fact that he was pissing himself laughing. It took a lot of self-control on my part to keep a straight face I can tell you.

Eventually she got going. Her driving was rough, but there was no way I was going to comment on it. God forbid that I, a mere man, should tell a woman that she was a lousy driver.

When we got back to the dealership she almost ran to their motorbike and mounted the pillion passenger seat. Her husband ran after her and hurriedly put on his helmet and off they loudly rode. I never heard from them ever again.

And the moral of the story is, please leave your attitude and aggression at the door so as not to embarrass yourself.

ILLUMINATION

We curate outstanding articles from diverse domains and…

Liam Ireland

Written by

Author, writer, Illumination Editor, Top Writer in short stories and poetry.

ILLUMINATION

We curate and disseminate outstanding articles from diverse domains and disciplines to create fusion and synergy.

Liam Ireland

Written by

Author, writer, Illumination Editor, Top Writer in short stories and poetry.

ILLUMINATION

We curate and disseminate outstanding articles from diverse domains and disciplines to create fusion and synergy.

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