How Problems Could Form Personality
In positive ways
It’s been quite a long time since I wrote or did something ‘positive’ for myself. A lot of things that had happened brought me to be demotivated and lazy. Having been stuck in a situation I considered awful, which hasn’t changed. I still couldn’t visit my family back in my home town. Fed up with my job and my co-workers, but the pandemic situation made it more difficult for me to get new job, some ‘ex-to-be-clients’ cancelled my company’s services, due to project location. I felt like I was walking in place.
It left me frustrated and anxious. I stopped marketing my business. I stopped writing. I stopped doing sports. I stopped every positive thing. I was even too lazy to clean my house, apart from doing the dishes. I would prefer to binge watch Netflix, Youtube, Tiktok. I ate unhealthy food, for example fried chicken delivery for 3 days in a row. I gave up taking care of my health.
Until one day, I read a quote by Michael Strahan. He wrote,” We’re our own worst enemy. You doubt yourself more than anybody else ever will. If you can get past that, you can be successful”.
Somehow, the quote enlightened me. Not directly, but it kept popping up in my head. Then I realized that I needed to get back on track, because it was unhealthy for me and for the people who are close to me.
Since then, I have been trying to get back on track. I have been trying to market my interior design services. I have been reading books and writing again. I have been running 4 days a week and also I am back to eating healthy. I have been trying not to complain about my job and my co-workers. I just do my work.
I figured out that I am my own enemy. Day by day, I have been keeping myself motivated to change. I know now, although I am still learning to be better and stronger, my problems have shaped my personality. Here’s how:
1. Focus More on My Tasks
I used to blame other people first. Yes, my co-workers might be awful. My job might be the job I never wanted. But it wouldn’t lead me to anger and a stressful situation, if I stopped putting the blame on them or focus on the job boredom.
Nowadays I have been trying to not blame anyone if something that makes me feel ‘bullied’ happens. I will just do my task and finish it. I have figured out that, being angry and blaming other people doesn’t solve the problem. It doesn’t get my tasks done. As a matter of fact, it wastes time. I wouldn’t get my task done on time.
Other than that, previously, I used to focus on the wrong ‘why (s)’ not the ‘how (s)’. For instance, when my ‘ex-to-be-clients’ cancelled my company’s services, I was stuck on ‘why am I always failing?’, ‘why have I never been lucky like other designers who get leads?’. In fact, I was supposed to find out, ‘how could I learn more to get more leads?’, ‘how could I manage the project location issues?’, ‘how could I improve myself to be a better designer?’. Those are my tasks, to provide excellent services for my clients. I must not stop learning.
2. Mindfulness
Laziness and lack of motivation still appear sometimes (yes I’m only human), but I try to control my mind. I always remember Michael Strahan’s quote. We are our own enemy, therefore I need to fight it and control my mind to not be lulled by laziness and demotivation.
Apart from that, I also make an effort to control my mind to not give up on something bad, for instance my office environment, business lead that is yet to come, no new job offer, relationship, or any other circumstances.
Furthermore, I have been getting back to a healthy lifestyle. I eat healthy food and have started to run again 4 times a week, not only to be healthy, but to challenge myself to run a better pace and distance. Honestly, getting back to a healthy lifestyle refreshes my mind.
Lastly, I stopped comparing my achievements with others. I realize that me and other people have different struggles, thus the achievements are different as well.
In conclusion, the problem could form personality in positive ways, such as:
1.Be a person who focusses more on the task, not blaming or complaining.
2. Become a mindful person.
Remember, our great enemy is our self, not other people, and it’s only us who could fight that enemy. We are stronger than our problems.
