How The Self-Help Content Makes You Dumb; How To Save Yourself
The more self-help content you watch, the more you’ll feel disconnected from your intuitions
I might have died yesterday. I am not kidding. I am as serious as one can be. But perhaps, I stopped myself from dying because I had to come and write this article which, by the way, is the reason I was half through death.
Now, you must be thinking, ‘Renuka, please don’t be dramatic.’ But oh dear, what I heard has sucked the life out of me. See yourself:
I was scrolling Instagram yesterday and I stumbled upon a reel by a popular Indian self-help creator. He has millions of followers on both Instagram and YouTube. And since there are only a few big players in this industry in India, he is a very well-known figure. Teenagers idealize him. I was never a fan of his work but I also never thought if his content was good or bad.
However, yesterday what he said on his podcast (and posted as a reel) blew my mind and I couldn’t stop wondering ‘No wonder, why teenagers and young adults feel so fearful, and miserable as if they have already lost the race of life.’
Here is what he said:
“If you don’t eat food for one day, it’s fine. But you shouldn’t spend a day without feeding your brain. Because, without food, your body can survive one day. However, if you don’t feed your brain with knowledge for one day then you pull yourself by 10 years because there is so much happening in the world that you can't afford to miss even one day.”
Okay, I might need some help in breathing at the moment because ‘Oh My God! What the hell?’
Do you understand how such creators are feeding fear to the young generation in such a way that they keep chasing the ‘cheese’ just to end up running in circles? This level of stupidity!!
This is the reason why self-help creators are on such a high-level today. First, they tell you how your life sucks, how much more you can do, how you are wasting your potential, how much more you could have if you had done this or that, how they came from a similar background as you did but they have a life and you still suck so follow me and do this and that.
And guess what? We, you and I, simply believe them. Oh, how innocent or perhaps stupid are we?
This is the reason why youngsters are under so much stress these days because they feel even ONE DAY can bring them, what, 10 years back?
Do you understand what this kind of FEAR can do to your brain? Especially people who are underconfident and already find it tough to believe that they can achieve something good in their lives.
This FEAR blinds you. It blurs the obvious truths of life. It takes you far away from your intuitions and makes you believe that you MUST follow the advice and guidance of people who have already made it big in life because they have achieved something good so they know all the answers. So, you go and chase what they say.
You start to alter your wake-up time as per their suggestion. You start to approach your work based on what they say you should be doing. You don’t start to dream big after listening to their long motivational speeches on dreaming big but rather, start to dream what they show you ‘what a dream life looks like.’
But it doesn’t matter how much information you consume, how much you try to alter your life as per their advice, or how you secretly start to resent your life for not becoming what you want it to or how you start to believe that maybe there is something wrong with you that even after doing everything, you cannot achieve success.
In the end, the road never seems to end. The promise of success surely makes you feel motivated but you never reach anywhere. If anything, on the one hand, you feel egoistic that you follow such great creators and you know so much about the world and success and the stories of powerful people but on the other hand, you doubt and hate yourself for not having what you work for every day.
A weird and absolutely disgusting combination.
However, irrespective of knowing the truth deep within, you cannot stop. You never stop to ask ‘Is this really how I want to live? Do I really want what I work for? And what is it that I am working for?’
Because the FEAR is so strong that every time you want to turn to yourself for intuitive guidance, the fear holds you back. It whispers in your ears, ‘But what if you fail? What if you can never make anything big enough out of your life to show to people?’
The fear never lets you sit in peace. The fear never lets you waste time turning inwards because, damn you will be pulled 10 years back. So you keep chasing the illusions of self-development. Keep doing what they ask you to so you can be BETTER.
And what’s the term that’s getting really popular these days? Oh yeah, The higher version. Dream version.
Oh, if I could say it in 80-year-old American lady style, a Higher version, my as*!
What To Do Instead?:
If God didn’t want you to use your brain, he wouldn’t given it to you!
Just because I am saying all this doesn’t mean I am all that smart. I was once caged by the same fear as well. I know this fear too well. Fear is what I used to use three years back instead of my brain to make decisions. Why?
Because I used to follow a lot of self-help creators. In fact, my YouTube history was filled with influencers who had a path, a guide, and some great advice to hand over to me. I took that advice as a manual for my life. Religiously following it like if I did what they told me to, I would become successful just like them.
Did I become successful?
Hell no!
I only became miserable. I was already an underconfident girl and all that non-stop input confirmed my belief that ‘success is too big and tough for a girl like me.’ But I had a hope. Hope that if I do as these influencers and books on success recommend then maybe, I can become successful as well. I just need to try harder and be better.
Nothing happened. The road didn’t lead me to success but if I had kept going down that road, I would have ended up in a mental hospital.
I was touching the door of depression when I stopped watching all these creators and stopped reading the big-shot success stories of famous people. I was so tired that I verbally said, I cannot do it any longer. I don’t care if I become successful or not, I just don’t want to become mad. I need peace.
With that, gradually, as the inputs from the external world stopped, and I couldn’t care less about being a loser, I started enjoying life. It didn’t happen overnight but after months of healing from the burnout, I started waking up late with the excitement to sit with my coffee and write articles on topics I enjoyed.
Life started to feel good. One day, one moment at a time.
It was during these moments that I realized, I didn’t want to be a big-shot success. I just want enough money to afford my living and continue to write. Writing is all I wanted to do. So, I gave myself a chance. A chance to write books. I wrote multiple drafts on my laptop but I published only two. One of them is called — The Art of Being Alone which is a bestseller today.
Now, I surely have a lot of money. I have the title as well.
But I don’t think I feel any of those make me happy as much as my morning cup of coffee does. Because that represents peace for me.
Your Turn To Stop Running With Fear & Start Walking With Peace:
There is a road that is less traveled. It leads to peace and the utmost level of self-satisfaction. I call it the Road Leading To Home.
Home is YOU. Home is Your soul. Home is when you feel comfortable in your mind, and you seek to belong to yourself.
You need to start walking on this road that will lead you to yourself. A road where you can walk at your own pace because there is no one else to beat you. There is just you and your choices — choices that make you feel peaceful.
But, walking on this road requires you to stop running on the road that is planned for you.
Truth be told, I would advise you to waste time. Waste a lot of time to ask yourself ‘What do I want? Am I peaceful with the way I am living today? Am I running away from myself? What if I stop and don’t do what I am told but rather explore and figure out what I want?’
These are tough questions. The answer doesn’t appear on your doorstep because you have opened the door to your intuitions. You need to give time to yourself. Time to heal from the fear. Time to push back the fear and pull in self-trust.
But most of all, you will have to say goodbye to the dreams and definition of success taught to you which may feel like wasting your potential at the moment. The fear will try to manipulate you. But it’s your call to choose — do you want to keep chasing a definition of success that is anyway is far from you or do you want to give your intuitions a chance to guide you toward your own unique journey?
Conclusion:
Let the choice be in your hands. Don’t let fear blind you or certain self-help creators fool you. Only when you stay in fear and believe you are not good enough to make your own decisions, you will watch their content and thus, help them make money.
I have talked more about choosing your own unique path in my book, The Art of Being Alone. If you like this article, you will love the book.
