ILLUMINATION
Published in

ILLUMINATION

How To Boost A Child’s Self Image Through Metamorphosis

Constant Communication and Engagement to Monitor A Child’s Mental State

Author Photo

Metamorphosis is about transformation. This is a phenomenal part of nature to see literally unfold, watching a caterpillar transform into a delicate and beautiful butterfly. March 14 is National U.S. Learn About Butterflies Day so let’s talk butterflies and transformation.

What may sound unrelated, teen suicide is a problem that became more apparent to me when two occurred in my community within a month! I was hearing stories about teenagers who placed bombs in their schools and how other teens described these students as loners, friendless, and odd. A teen that would perform either of these acts is obviously not in their right mind.

These incidences prompted me to write a children’s book that addresses inclusion, belonging, and acceptance. I am not an expert on mental illness, but I know how painful bullying and harassment can be and the need for positive social interactions. Bullying can be in person or today, cyberbullying is just as prevalent.

How do you know if your child is being bullied? How do you know if your child has low self-esteem and what can you do about it? I was volunteering in a first-grade classroom. There was one cute, good-looking little boy that the other kids swarmed around. He seemed happy and was doing well academically. He was popular and had lots of friends. But I learned that this little boy told his parents that he had no friends at school. It shocked me!

I know of a family who has a 12-year-old boy who was being bullied at school. The boy that was being bullied was an introvert, kind, trusting, and an excellent student. The bully was demanding this boy to do his homework. The bullied boy’s brother found out what was happening and was going to tell their parents. But the bullied boy didn’t want his parents to know. He felt ashamed and scared that if the bully knew, he would be bullied even more! The parents found out, and the situation was remedied safely.

In a world living with a pandemic, children are experiencing isolation in a different form. They have been doing remote schooling and unable to socialize in person with other children. They have been more sedentary, have increased screen time, and not able to take part in sports, music, and the arts. Many of these children are feeling anxious, sad, and depressed. Hopefully, these times of isolation are ending, and we will start the healing and recovering process for their spirits and emotional health, as vaccinations protect our physical health.

Communication and ongoing monitoring of your child’s mental health are critical. We focus on physical health and academics, but the emotional state of a child is important, if not more important. Talk to your child and ask them what they did in school that day, who they played with, even virtually, and how did they feel about the day.

As you cultivate a healthy child, self-esteem needs to be addressed too. It’s a continuous, evolving, changing, and transforming process. As a child learns and is exposed to new experiences,

  • guide them in setting goals
  • help them focus on the outcome they want to achieve and why
  • help them measure progress towards the outcome
  • praise them when they reach their outcome
  • discuss with them disappointments, unexpected occurrences, and re-direction when needed
  • emphasize their strengths
  • teach them how they can strengthen their weakness
  • encourage them to help others and give
  • let them know your love for them is unconditional

Be an example to your child of kindness and compassion. Model positive attitudes and cheerfully doing tasks. Show them how to be present and focused on what they are doing at that moment. Guide them in giving to others. Although this wasn’t the original intent, the act of giving reminds me of the quote attributed to Henry Ford, “Chop your own wood and it will warm you twice.” When we work and contribute, the internal warmth received from helping and giving is just as powerful and rewarding as the benefits received by our actions.

Human beings need the feeling of self-worth to grow and develop into a healthy, contributing part of society. Often our relationships and connections to others can enhance or destroy that feeling.

Author Provided — Illustrator Mani Nieto

BaBa-Balu Belongs, Too, is a story of a monarch caterpillar who doesn’t fit in. He feels uncomfortable in his own skin, which he grows out of 5 times, which follows the metamorphic cycle. The other bugs don’t play with him or include him. This causes him to be sad, mad, and even bad.

One day he is so sad he creeps away from his home on the milkweed. He hangs upside down and grows out of his skin again! But this time he falls into a deep sleep. In his sleep he dreams about how the other bugs include him, eat with him, play with him, and invite him to a party! He feels like he belongs.

This feeling overwhelms him with happiness. He wakes up feeling included and loved, which causes him to spread his wings and become who he is really meant to be, a beautiful, happy butterfly. This story follows the metamorphosis cycle and includes several scientific terms and definitions related to it.

What a great book to share in this time of isolation, and in addition, learn information about butterflies. The story is beautifully written for a child 4–8 years old, and full of meaning and substance. The vivid illustrations are engaging, and the bug characters create an enjoyable reading experience with a child enhancing dual learning.

Sonja Wendt

Enhancing children’s sensitivity in human interactions one story at a time.

©2021 sonjalangewendt

--

--

--

We curate and disseminate outstanding articles from diverse domains and disciplines to create fusion and synergy.

Recommended from Medium

How To Feel Seen During the Pandemic (Without Social Media)

Don’t Argue for the Sake of Arguing

The daily effort: 031

How To Get Your Step Children or Partner’s Children To Accept You

Preparing for a Different First Day of School

Kids need chores, and chores need kids.

The down side to coming last.

Our Picks on 10 Best Parenting Blogs

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Sonja Wendt

Sonja Wendt

Award-winning author for children’s book series Cultivating Compassion in Children. Get a gardening list of how to grow compassionate children at sonjawendt.com

More from Medium

True Stories of ESP (Extra Sensory Perception) in My Family

A statue of a long-haired woman in stone from the neck up, eyes closed, against the backdrop of sky and clouds with a sliver of moon touching the right side of her head. The statue is dark gray all over except for her orange-brown hoop earrings and a large white teardrop shape on her forehead.

The Art of Being Alone

I played Tash Sultana on repeat and something amazing happened.

Period power or living with and in cycles