How To Build Your Capacity for Success
What are you good at, and how do you make the world better?
Your capacity is what you’re good at and how you can improve your inherent abilities, skills, and resources to perform and create positive change to make the world better.
Never Compare Yourself to Others
Imagine this story. The Sun is a star in a large solar system, in an even larger galaxy. Every day it shines its light, illuminating our world and nurturing all living things.
Imagine the Sun decided to compare itself to the other stars in the galaxy. It noticed there were other, brighter stars. It began to worry that its light wasn’t enough, even though its job was essential in preserving life on Earth. It thought another, shinier star could do better.
The Sun consulted with the Comet. “Why am I not as bright as other stars? Does my light truly serve its purpose when other stars are brighter? Am I the right star for the job?”
The Comet replied, “Sun, your light is unique and essential. The brightness of the other stars does not diminish your radiance and power. Your warmth sustains life. You are right where you are supposed to be, and you should continue to do what you are doing, even though you might not be the brightest or the best.”
This story is ridiculous. Stars don’t battle each other in space because space is limitless.
So why do we do this to ourselves? Compare ourselves to others when there is room in the cosmos for every single person.
You are your own Sun. Your glow can light up others waiting to hear the lessons you have learned and what you can offer them so they can shine too. You may not be the brightest or best, but your capacity helps others the same as the Sun.
Don’t compare yourself to others.
Identify Your Capacity
Your capacity is your personal resume of skills, knowledge, emotional intelligence, drive, and behaviors.
Call it your “Me” Inventory. It is your authentic self, on paper. Answer these questions.
How do I want to spend my time?
What can I offer to the world?
What do I know about?
How do I feel about what I know?
Does what I know align with my values and goals?
Don’t worry if you can’t answer the questions immediately. By writing them down, your mind will be occupied with thinking about them. Over time, you will find the answers.
What gets written gets done.
Reflect on who you are and what you have to offer to the world. Keep asking, keep reflecting. The time it takes to find the answers is different for everyone — sometimes in childhood, sometimes 40+ years and more.
Your Capacity is Limitless
Your “Me” inventory is your current capacity, not your future capacity or your maximum potential.
Capacity grows over time.
Today you may be offering the world your parenting skills, or nursing skills or business skills. Tomorrow you may pivot you to something you don’t even know today.
The number of people you choose to have in your orbit is part of your capacity. Some of us love a large audience — Beyonce or Tony Robbins, traveling the world. Some of us prefer to stay in a smaller orbit, maybe a home office for writing and connecting to the world through social media.
You define how large or small your audience will be. Neither is right or wrong. It is what is natural and easy for you. Know that your capacity is limitless, like the cosmos.
Your audience grows as you grow.
Let’s say you are afraid of public speaking but want to learn to speak publicly to connect with your audience. Rather than signing up for a TED talk immediately, start smaller. Speak to groups of five or ten, then keep working up to your desired capacity. It takes longer but it significantly improves your chance of succeeding.
When I became a Certified Computer Instructor, I started with an audience of two, then six, then twenty, then fifty. When I earned my Outstanding Toastmaster certificate, I started with an audience of six, then twenty, then hundreds. It took longer but I succeeded.
Most of us never come close to reaching our capacity. We hold ourselves back, imposing limitations and questioning our abilities and beliefs (like the Sun story). I’m guilty as charged. It took me a long time to press the Publish button for my first Medium
Build your capacity by creating goals and actively working on them.
What gets written gets done. Write it down.
Take an online time management course like Franklin Covey Planner.
Start With Why?
Align your goals with your “why.” Why do you want to do what you are doing? Money, success, power, nuture, nature.
I wanted to own businesses as my way to help others provide for themselves and their families. That “why” aligned with my values. I had the skills and the grit to do it, so I did.
Simon Sinek, leadership expert and author of “Start With Why,” popularized the concept, “People don’t buy what you do. They buy why you do it.”
In other words, alignment is everything.
Being aligned means being true to who you are through what you do and how you act.
The goal is to do business and connect with people who believe what you believe.
The goal is not to do business and connect with everyone who needs what you have to offer.
Stop Comparing Yourself To Others
If someone has a “ better “ idea than yours, does that detract from you? Of course not.
By comparing yourself to others, you diminish your capacity. It is much better to build your capacity to help others.
You came into this world for a purpose, not to whine about not being the brightest or the best.
When you live up to your potential that your mission will be revealed to you.
