How to Cope With Loneliness in 2021
Loneliness is a depressing feeling that difficult to bear.
Especially in the Corona crisis, when many people have to go into self-isolation, feelings of loneliness can spread, often combined with deep melancholy and sadness.
However, lonely people do not only exist in pandemic times.
Why is it hard for us to be alone?
- We are afraid.
- We are not enough for ourselves.
- We do not know ourselves.
- We don’t know what to do with ourselves.
And in my opinion, especially the last two reasons are the answers to why we feel lonely mostly. We don’t know ourselves because we don’t deal with ourselves as a human being and as a personality — and that’s how it was with me.
Become one with yourself, and your loneliness will be better because you will always have the most important person in your life by your side — you.
Personally, it helps me a lot to plan something nice for myself and then look forward to it. The anticipation lifts my mood and reduces the feeling of being lonely.
Where does loneliness come from?
Usually, it comes from several factors, e.g., certain character traits, poor quality social ties, bad experiences, social circumstances, and critical life stages.
Can it make people physically ill?
Absolutely! Chronic loneliness increases the risk of cardiovascular disease, sleep disorders, dementia, depression, anxiety and obsessive-compulsive disorders, and suicidal ideation.
What can be done against loneliness?
Self-care, structuring of everyday life, a meaningful job, hobbies, gradual contact with others, psychological help if necessary, medication.
The way out of loneliness starts with yourself.
If you think, “I feel lonely,” first try to look at your situation objectively.
Being alone does not mean being lonely. Being alone can also help you relax, find peace, and relieve stress.
Start retaking an interest in yourself.
Ask yourself what books you have wanted to read for a long time, what movies you would like to see, what music makes you happy, what food you like, what sports you enjoy, what landscapes or cities you like.
- Make yourself happy — fulfill your wish.
- Find a hobby that you enjoy or revive a neglected hobby.
- Take care of yourself and listen to your needs.
- Do not neglect your personal hygiene, eat healthily, and exercise regularly in the fresh air.
- Meet yourself with kindness and compassion. Start to like yourself.
- Caring for an animal can be very fulfilling. However, only get a pet if you really want to take care of it long-term.
With this, you can get a piece of joy in everyday life without intensive contact from the outside.
If the days seem to drag on endlessly, there is a great danger of falling into melancholy. Those affected withdraw, begin to brood, and feel lonely.
What can you do about this loneliness?
Get your act together and structure your day. Create a detailed daily and weekly plan for yourself and stick to it!
In small steps, you can also try to get back in touch with people.
Especially in the corona crisis, where direct human contact should be reduced for a while, you can make good use of the technical communication possibilities to fight your loneliness:
Check your phone book or cell phone — who haven’t you talked to in a while?
Call your acquaintances, (former) friends, and (if available) family members and ask how they are doing.
Don’t wait for someone to get back to you! If you are afraid of this, a short message will do for a start.
Of course, there is also the possibility to meet people virtually, in social networks or chat groups you can exchange with people who share your interests and hobbies. Especially in times of self-isolation, this is very helpful.
Tip: You should be aware that virtual exchange cannot be a substitute for real interpersonal interactions and relationships. If you mainly maintain contacts on the Internet, you even increase the risk of becoming lonely in the long term.
Older people, in particular, are most affected by loneliness.
Important caregivers, friends, relatives, and acquaintances of the same age die, and the social network becomes ever smaller. Besides, there are often illnesses and limited mobility.
It is also more challenging to make new contacts at an older age, and friendships become more difficult.
But even at this age, there are ways to get in touch with others:
- If you can, use virtual options such as chat groups or social networks.
- Stay in touch or contact younger relatives via short message services or video calls.
- If possible, live out your hobbies or find new ones.
- If you are fit enough to do so, a pet can keep you company.
- Educate yourself further, e.g., with a study in old age or with a language course — meanwhile, there are so many online offers.
- Even small activities help: for example, suggest to a neighbour that you go for a walk together.
- Make use of senior citizens’ meetings in your community.
- If your physical condition allows, join a walking group or club.
- Find a volunteer position that excites you, such as telephone counseling, visiting patients in the hospital, reading aloud in a library.
Loneliness is an inescapable experience of every human being. Still, it is experienced differently depending on the life situation and individual character.
Therefore, loneliness is a subjective phenomenon and cannot be equated with being alone or socially isolated:
Many people are often alone but do not feel lonely!
Conversely, people with many social contacts in family, work, school, or social institutions can also feel lonely.
If you feel lonely, you have to give your life meaning!
That sounds so casually said, that may be, but it is true. If you don’t see any meaning in your life, it doesn’t fulfill you, perhaps, because you have no task.
The good thing is that you can do something about your loneliness yourself.
I’m not saying that you will never feel lonely again if you follow the above tips.
I also feel lonely from time to time — but: much less often than before when I didn’t have a life mission of my own!
Become one with yourself, and your loneliness will be better because you will always have the most important person in your life by your side — you.
The truth still, we must take care of each other.
Not every person living alone, young or old, is lonely. However, if someone complains of loneliness, we must take it seriously. It could be a warning signal of developing depression. Then we should be there for that person and take time for them.
Thank you for reading!
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Disclaimer: The article isn’t medical advice. Author is not a medical doctor. The information is for educational purposes only. It is not meant to diagnose or treat any medical conditions.
