How to Deal with Failures: A Guide to Resilience and Growth
Failure is inevitable in life. We all face challenges, setbacks, and disappointments that can make us feel like we are not good enough, not smart enough, or not worthy enough. But failure is not the end of the story. It is an opportunity to learn, grow, and bounce back stronger than before. In this article, I will share some tips on how to deal with failures healthily and productively, and how to use them as a catalyst for personal and professional development.
Accept Your Emotions
The first step to dealing with failure is to acknowledge and embrace your emotions. Failure can trigger a range of negative feelings, such as anger, sadness, frustration, guilt, shame, and fear. These emotions are natural and valid, and you should not try to suppress or deny them. Instead, you should allow yourself to feel them fully and express them safely and constructively. For example, you can talk to a trusted friend, write in a journal, cry, or vent. By doing so, you will release the emotional tension and gain a clearer perspective on the situation.
Analyze the Cause
The second step to dealing with failure is to analyze the cause and the consequences of the failure.
- What went wrong?
- What factors contributed to the outcome?
- What can you learn from the experience?
- What can you do differently next time?
These questions will help you identify the root of the problem and the areas that need improvement. They will also help you avoid making the same mistakes in the future and increase your chances of success.
Set Realistic Goals
The third step to dealing with failure is to set realistic and attainable goals for yourself. Sometimes, failure is the result of setting goals that are too high, too vague, or too unrealistic. These goals can set you up for disappointment and frustration, and make you feel like a failure even when you are not. To avoid this, you should set SMART goals: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. These goals will help you focus on what you want to achieve, how you will measure your progress, and how you will overcome the obstacles along the way.
Practice Mental Contrasting
The fourth step to dealing with failure is to practice mental contrasting. This is a technique that involves imagining the best possible outcome of your goal, and then contrasting it with the potential obstacles and challenges that you might face. This will help you balance optimism and realism, and prepare you for the difficulties that you might encounter. It will also help you devise a plan of action to overcome those difficulties and achieve your goal.
Seek Support
The fifth step to dealing with failure is to seek support from others. You are not alone in your struggle, and you do not have to deal with failure by yourself. Some people care about you and want to help you. You can contact your family, friends, mentors, coaches, or counselors, and ask for their advice, feedback, encouragement, or assistance. They can offer you a different perspective, a fresh insight, a valuable resource, or a shoulder to lean on. They can also remind you of your strengths, achievements, and potential.
Celebrate Your Efforts
The sixth step to dealing with failure is to celebrate your efforts and achievements, no matter how small or big they are. Failure does not mean that you did not try hard enough, or that you did not accomplish anything. It means that you took a risk, you faced a challenge, and you learned something new. You should be proud of yourself for that, and reward yourself for your hard work and perseverance. You can treat yourself to something you enjoy, such as a movie, a meal, a book, or a hobby. You can also share your success with others, and receive their praise and recognition.
Keep Trying
The seventh and final step to dealing with failure is to keep trying. Failure is not a permanent state, but a temporary setback. It does not define you, but it shapes you. It does not stop you, but it motivates you. You have the power to overcome failure, and to turn it into a success. You need to believe in yourself and your ability to grow and improve. You need to be resilient and never give up on your dreams and goals.
Examples of Famous Failures
To inspire you further, here are some examples of famous people who faced failures in their lives, but did not let them stop them from achieving their dreams:
- Donald Trump — Before he became the president of the United States, Trump filed for bankruptcy several times for his businesses. He also faced lawsuits, scandals, and controversies that threatened his reputation and credibility. However, he managed to overcome these challenges and become one of the most influential and powerful people in the world.
- J.K. Rowling — Before she became the author of one of the most popular book series in the world, “Harry Potter”, Rowling lived on the edge of poverty and was rejected by several publishers for her manuscripts. She did not give up on her passion for writing, and eventually found a publisher who believed in her vision. Her books have now sold over 500 million copies and have been translated into over 80 languages.
- Oprah Winfrey — Before she became the queen of media and one of the richest and most influential women in the world, Winfrey had a difficult childhood marked by poverty, abuse, and discrimination. She was also fired from her first TV job as a reporter and was told she was not fit for television. She did not let these obstacles deter her from pursuing her dreams and went on to create her own TV show, network, magazine, and book club, among other ventures.
- Albert Einstein — Before he became the most famous scientist of the 20th century and the father of modern physics, Einstein was a slow learner as a child and struggled with speech and social skills. He was also rejected by several universities and had difficulty finding academic jobs. He did not let these failures discourage him from exploring his curiosity and genius, and eventually made groundbreaking discoveries that changed the world of science and beyond.
- Michael Jordan — Before he became the greatest basketball player of all time and a global icon, Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team and was considered too short to play. He also missed more than 9,000 shots, lost almost 300 games, and failed to make the game-winning shot 26 times in his career. He did not let these failures define him but rather used them as motivation to work harder and improve his skills.
He once said: “I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”
Failure is not something to be feared or avoided, but something to be embraced and utilized. It is a teacher, a guide, and a friend. It is a source of wisdom, inspiration, and innovation. It is a catalyst for change, growth, and development. By following these seven steps, you can learn how to deal with failure positively and productively, and how to use it as a stepping stone to success. Remember, failure is not the opposite of success, but a part of it.
‘‘Failure is success in progress.” — Albert Einstein
