How to develop the mindset of a cavewoman
Being comfortable with yourself is a superpower.
Would you spend 500 days alone in a cave? Seventy meters underground? Without seeing the light of day or talking to anyone?
It seems impossible, but Beatriz Flamini, the extreme mountaineer, did it.
She emerged from the cave in Southern Spain on April 14, smiling. And then she asked for a beer. She hadn't showered for 500 days.
Flamini entered the cave during the pandemic.
When she emerged, the pandemic had ended, there was a war in Ukraine, and Queen Elizabeth II was dead. Flamini didn’t receive any updates from her family. When she entered the cave, she was 48. Now she is 50.
How to spend 500 days in a cave
Flamini knitted, painted, and read many books (around 60). She exercised and recorded her experience with a GoPro cam.
She received food regularly, and her waste was picked up. She had a computer to communicate her needs to a team of scientists who were monitoring her reactions in a state of complete isolation.
After day 70, Flamini lost track of time — luckily, her menstruation was her compass.
She suffered auditory hallucinations caused by the silence in the cave that made her brain ‘hear things’.
This isn’t the first time
In 1972, French explorer and scientist Michel Siffre did a similar thing. He spent six months in a cave in Texas as part of an experiment to study human circadian rhythms.
During the experiment, he had no contact with the outside world, so he had to rely entirely on his internal clock to determine when to eat and sleep (which is hard if you have no menstruation.)
Why would anyone do this?
You can always invent a reason.
It can be part of an experiment to explore human limits or the sense of time.
It can be a personal bet.
A way to test your resilience and grit. A way to prove to yourself that you are self-sufficient and can do anything.
But your ‘why’ must be coupled with a touch of craziness and a love for the extreme.
How to develop the mindset of a cavewoman
Truth be told, most of us will never have to spend a year in a cave. Unless there is a nuclear blast or something, and we happen to pass by a cave.
Developing the mindset of a cavewoman seems intriguing though.
What skills would one have to develop to make it in the cave?
Learn to get along with yourself
Most of us don't get along with ourselves. We have internalized a parent or someone with authority who speaks in our heads.
Most of the time, this person isn’t kind or supportive. He speaks a lot. He points to our every imperfection or slip-up. He rants and repeats the same things over and over.
Having a person like this in the cave with you is a no-no!
So, how do you develop a relationship with yourself:
- Change the relationship with the voice in your head
You pretend that the voice belongs to a kid and not a grown-up.
You are the grown-up.
You listen to the voice’s worries, and insecurities. You realize that most of the time the voice is afraid and thus overly protective.
You try to soothe it and calm it down. You say that you understand where it’s coming from. Have some compassion for the voice.
2. Write letters to yourself
Journaling is a great way to start building a relationship with the person you’ll be taking with you in the cave. I bet Flamini was journaling.
Journaling is a way to see the voice in action. With time, it eventually calms down ( I’ve been journaling every day for the last five years. The voice still does some stunts, but we get along fine.)
3. Meditate
Imagine having 60.000 thoughts a day. Alone. In a cave.
It sounds horrendous. Flamini had a few hallucinations here and there.
Most of us would have frequent showings of the monster in ‘Aliens’, the demon in ‘Exorcist’, and the like.
I would definitely include meditation in my preparation for the cave experiment.
When you start meditating, it is uncomfortable. You realize you have a monkey in your head running around like crazy.
The good thing is that you can train your monkey. Little by little. A few minutes a day. Every day. Consistently.
After 600 days of meditating for ten minutes a day, I still have thousands of thoughts every day, but I’m calmer.
I don’t overthink things. I’m more conscious of my thoughts. There are even moments when my mind is completely blank.
Prepare yourself for aloneness
You start by trying things for size.
You go for coffee by yourself. You go for lunch and dinner. You go to a museum or to the cinema (dark like a cave, yes!)
You spend a weekend by yourself. You take a solo trip to another country. You camp out in the forest. You go to a silent retreat.
You get some solo hobbies: drawing, scrapbooking, writing a book, documenting your life, or working out at home with a kettlebell.
You read. A lot.
Yesterday, I tried to simulate cave-like conditions in my living room.
It was late at night. I was alone. There was just one light source and nothing else. I couldn’t watch Netflix, surf the internet, or call someone.
I imagined sleeping and waking up in a dark room for 500 days.
This made me realize that the hardest part of the cave experiment is the lack of natural light. Which is kind of hard I you love the sun.
So, I could never participate in this experiment and become a cavewoman.
Nevertheless, developing Flamini’s mindset and being comfortable with yourself is a superpower — both below and above ground.
