How to dissolve the Ego [COMPLETE BREAKDOWN]
*This is written for the spiritually advanced folks who are familiar with concepts like self-inquiry popularized by Sri Ramana Maharshi.
Today, I’m going to break down the process of dissolving the ego and merging into beingness. There are a variety of techniques and pointers but I’m going to focus on the two that have impacted my life the most; meditation and self-inquiry. To me, both of these were essential tools in my spiritual toolbox that allowed me to gain deep awareness and insights into the nature of reality. This post will be long but chocked full of goodies so let’s dive in.
Meditation
Meditation gives one the focus that one needs to keep the light of their inner awareness single-pointed. Have you ever seen a single laser beam? The light is focused on a single point so that it can cut through metal. The focus of the light gives the laser beam power. Without meditation, a lot of people’s awareness is dispersed internally. Meditation allows you to focus that light on a single point.
The Bible even mentions this even though some didn’t understand it.
Matthew 6:22–23 “The light of the body is the eye: if therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light”
This verse above isn’t a metaphor, it is actually what happens. Many have experienced and can confirm this. Now why do you need this single point of focus? Well, self-inquiry requires a lot of energy. You cannot cut through the ego with a dull blade; you need a very sharp focus and that’s what meditation helps one attain. The ego is like a hard shell but it’s no match for the light of your awareness paired with self-inquiry. I remember that some people would read Ramana Maharshi’s writings on self-inquiry yet nothing will happen for them. This is because for Ramana’s approach of self-inquiry to work, you need a sharp focus and these people didn’t have that. For some people with a sharp single-pointed focus, Ramana would just toss one self-inquiry question like “Who is saying this?” and their ego would explode. These are the lucky folks who didn’t need the extra hoopla, you can just throw a Zen Koan their way and they’ll wake up. I wasn’t like these folks, I needed meditation 😂.
Self-Inquiry
Now self-inquiry directs the focus that you cultivated via meditation towards seeing the ego clearly. To break this down further, consciousness can identify with 2 buckets:
- Bucket 1: The ever-changing nature of reality that comprises the ego identity.
- Bucket 2: The witness of this ever-changing reality. The witness is always untouched, unperturbed, and mired in the awareness of I AM or beingness. For example, the body changes yet you always know you exist. When you were 4, your body was small yet you knew you existed. When you’re 33, your body might be much bigger yet you still know you exist. Also, emotions change; some days you’re happy, and other days you’re sad. However, the one thing that never changes is the witness of these emotions.
Self-inquiry allows one to stay as Bucket 2, the witness. And here’s the important part, staying as the witness is how you melt the ego identity. Self-inquiry simply inquires within and asks the question “Who is this event affecting, Bucket 1 or Bucket 2?” The answer will always be Bucket 1 or the ego because the Witnesser can never be touched. Let’s cover some examples:
- Someone betrayed you. Who did this affect? Ego…ok stay as the witness.
- Someone says they don’t like you. Who does this affect? Ego…so stay as the witness.
- Someone praises you. Who does it affect? Ego…cool stay as the witness.
As you stay as the witness, slowly and surely the identity with bucket 1 or the ego starts to melt away and you’ll get in touch with a large spaciousness in your heart. As the ego melts, your heart grows bigger and you become more at peace, more loving, and more joy-filled.
Most people don’t know this, I didn’t till it hit me but self-inquiry was also in the Bible; Genesis 3:11 “God said to Adam, who told you that you were naked?” This verse is pure awareness asking the ego (Adam), who told you that you were the boss of all this? Just thought I’d add this here because I enjoy a bit of biblical allegory.
What is the Ego and the person?
The ego is just an identity that you created to be able to play in this 3D sandbox. The problem exists when you’ve forgotten that the ego is just a user/character and take it as the entirety of who you are. Let’s use Reddit for example. Reddit is an app that allows users to post anything that interests them and interact with other users on the subject that they post about. Now, let’s say my Reddit username is BlahBlahMedium417; it is an identity that I use to play in the Reddit sandbox. It would be a damn shame if one day I believe that BlahBlahMedium417 is the entirety of who I am. If I did that, I’d get sad for every downvote I receive on Reddit and if my account gets deleted, then I’ll think I died… “Omg, all the memories of past posts and interactions with other usernames”. All lost.” That’s how it sounds for Beingness to simply think it’s only a person, a [first______lastname], an identity, an ego. In reality, you can never know what you are because the Eternal Tao is forever unknown but you can BE what you are by knowing what you’re not. You are not the body, you are not the mind. This is good enough to help you break the shell of the ego.
Ego’s Assistant Mara (Buddhism Allegory)
Mara is a Buddhist allegory that sheds light on the inner battle one must wage before reaching enlightenment.
Now I’d be lying if I said my ego doesn’t show up every now and again; it sends his assistant Mara at times to test. Mara is deeply aware of your identity and temperament when you were identified as the ego so it knows what to test you with. For me currently, Mara knows that it can’t test me with worldly pleasures anymore so it tests me with boredom. But I know Mara’s tricks so when boredom shows up, I say internally, “Who is bored, Mara? You think I don’t know you?” Immediately Mara explodes and runs away. I’m a very solitary dude so my tests aren’t as tough as say, married people for example. These are the real Buddhas. I bow to the married Buddhas with children. To be able to deal with the rigors of raising children, paying bills, and ensuring your marriage stays intact; while still inviting Mara for tea, is the toughest path of the journey in my opinion. So again for the married ones on the spiritual path, I bow to you.
Now as you practice this self-inquiry, do not rush it. There might be days when Mara might come and overtake you, please do not judge yourself in those moments; you can ALWAYS return to the witness of all of this. A trick Mara uses is to blow up your head for being spiritual, tempt you with a snack, and when you take the snack; immediately bludgeon you with guilt and shame. For example, maybe you were being meditative for months and then one day you cuss out your spouse. Mara will smell blood and immediately come with guilt and shame; “I thought you were spiritual” Mara would whisper. Screw that noise. You can always return to the witness state, unconditionally. The more you stay as the witness, the more the ego melts and your heart grows so spacious that it’ll have room for the entire universe. Namaste.
