How to Get Out of The RedPill (cont.)
The steps I used to let go of my old pains…
University helped me unpack my hypocritical narrative.
It wasn’t easy; it was the hardest road for me to go down.
At first, the ideas were core to my identity.
But I was wrong.
People commented on my fragile masculinity all the time.
And my constant need for validation was seen for what it was:
A very hurt and insecure man.
Behind that bravado was a bitter soul.
I thought this was my path for my whole life.
But I began to explore the pain.
And to my surprise, no one judged me for it.
Even anti-redpill friends heard me out.
I listened, and I learned.
I learned that my worldview was defined by insecurity.
I was not enough to be loved.
I was only valued as a man if I had money and charm.
Shallow things that no one with self-respect cares about.
But that meant life or death to me.
I had to be a perfect man.
But I never cared about being a good person.
People became stepping stones to me.
Status was my only concern.
But why did I care so much about that?
I hated most of the people I tried to impress.
I was bored by most of the girls I found attractive.
Then I realised that I had become boring.
I didn’t change.
I was still closed off and guarded.
I couldn’t trust my partners and my friends with my heart.
No matter what I did I was never enough.
This led to my entitlement.
I thought I was owed women’s and men’s attention.
More importantly, I wanted respect.
Respect I was never given by my father.
Being told “You’re a child, I am your father” at 19 makes you feel so small.
I doubted whether I was a man worth respecting?”
I wanted to be revered and lusted over.
Yet had nothing to show for it.
And that pissed me off, but I didn’t want to blame myself.
Because if it was my fault, I was still unlovable.
I still wasn’t a man.
Yet, I thought to myself.
Who fucking cares?
Who cares what kind of man I should be?
At the end of the day, the only man I want to be is me.
I am okay being me, and the changes that come from it.
The Redpill Gurus I once looked up to, I find pathetic.
Status means very little to me now.
Dating is still confusing as hell.
And that’s okay.
Self-acceptance is the only way I have been able to discard these ideas.
It wasn’t easy, let me tell you that.
I had to confront unflattering parts of me.
I still hate myself.
I don’t think much of my accomplishments either.
But no one deserves hatred or harm for my insecurities.
Yet now, I feel free.
Free from all the poison I was fed.
And I say this sober-minded:
The RedPill is a lie.
Be a better man.
For yourself, no one else.
I hope to pass on some wisdom I wish was told to me.
Getting out of TRP
These are simple ways to get yourself out of it:
- Unsubscribe or leave any RP communities.
Disassociate from it. No more podcasts. No more forums.
Ensure that you are not in any echo chambers that encourage this way of thinking.
I go so far as to recommend unsubscribing from dating apps as this will reinforce superficial stereotypes about women.
This will give you room to breathe and open your mind away from the black hole called the “Sexual Marketplace”.
By distancing yourself, the RP stops being a partof your identity and opens you to explore other ideas outside your comfort zone.
One thing outside my zone was therapy. - Consult a therapist.
There are underlying issues stunting your growth, which is why the RP preyed on that.
You need to confront that to grow as a person, let alone a man.
I went to a therapist summer of last year.
I bawled for 10 straight minutes.
It sucked, but from that, I gained a new level of self-awareness.
I knew why I thought the way I did.
I had to be unflatteringly honest with myself to grow.
For me, it was rejection and childhood pain.
And by making it easier to talk about, I was able to relate stories with others. And they all had similar stories. - Understand that your pain is not unique.
Every person has been through similar experiences.
You realise that everything that has happened to you probably has to someone else.
Listening to others made me realise that other people have pains that dwarves mine.
My self-centeredness slowly chipped away, and I started to genuinely care about other people, as hard as it was for me. - Learn empathy.
Be human and care for others.
Start to love people again.
I am struggling with this due to my negative view of others, but I am trying.
Books such as “Surrounded by Idiots” by Thomas Erikson have helped me enhance my understanding of people.
I found that I started to care when I found joy in my friends’ personal victories.
A feeling I took as shallow, now meant so much to me.
Involve yourself in the lives of other people, only then can you find meaning in the madness.
If you want to know more about my experiences or have any questions about anything I have talked about, let me know in the comments.
This topic has been uncomfortable for me to write about.
One day, I hope to explore it a bit more.
There’s more to my story, but that’s for another day.
But for now, providing help to those stuck in it.
I am not a complete man.
Nor am I a complete person.
But I try to change for the better.
That’s why 改善 (Kaizen) is my end tag.
It’s a Japanese Katakana loosely translated to:
“Continuous Improvement”
No matter what, you must try to be better.
Not just physically.
But in mind, thoughts and spirit.
You owe yourself a happier life.
Don’t let the world tell you otherwise.
Here is a link to all of my media platforms.
