How to Immediately Transform Criticism Into Your Greatest Asset
3 simple tricks that if applied, will change how you deal with criticism forever
I’m going to let you in on a little secret.
Humans don’t like criticism.
Period.
It doesn’t matter whether it is being framed as “constructive”, or it’s abrupt and to-the-point. We just don’t like it.
There will always be something inherently soul-destroying about listening to how we did something wrong, hearing that we missed the point, or that we are just bad at stuff.
Now this doesn’t mean we should run away from criticism, even if it is coined in its friendlier form of being “constructive.”
We just need to find ways to make it an easier pill to swallow.
Let’s get straight to it.
1. Actively Request Feedback
“Criticism is something we can avoid easily by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.”
— Aristotle
What I am about to tell you is a tried and tested method.
Over the last 6 years, since I started working, my supervisors would continue to inform me how I’m doing a great job. Those conversations were a nice boost to my confidence, but at the same time, there was little to take away from them. I’d always walk away wondering what’s next.
That is until I asked the following:
“What can I do differently? Is there something that I can improve on?”
The benefits of posing such a question are threefold. First, it signals that you are determined to work towards a better version of yourself.
Second, it almost always results in a measurable action-point that if addressed, could lead to your next promotion.
And third, and most importantly, you can say goodbye to that sinking feeling that engulfs you the moment someone tells you that you could’ve done something better.
Why? Because you’ve removed the ‘shock’ element from receiving criticism.
It no longer becomes criticism if you go out of your way to ask for it. It becomes advice.
This simple trick can also be used outside the workplace. Try asking your loved ones what they’d like you to do more of, and what they’d like you to do less of. There’s no harm from doing so. It might just avoid those weary-eyed arguments when every little habit of yours blows up into hours of bickering.
2. Trust That Criticism Is Coming From a Good Place
“He has a right to criticise, who has a heart to help.”
— Abraham Lincoln
Next, you have to trust that other people have your best interests at play. They want you to be the best version of yourself.
I know it’s hard but you have to believe in the power of constructive criticism.
Often, we digest the shock of hearing somebody point out our flaws as follows: they must have said that on purpose.
Unfortunately, we allow our ego to raise its defence barriers. And our mind assists by finding ways to deflect the criticism back onto the other person.
“They’re probably telling me this because it’s a something they’re bad at.”
If you ever find yourself in this situation, remind yourself that the feedback you’re receiving is coming from a good place.
You’ll feel more relaxed about having these conversations.
3. Remember You Have a Choice
“Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfils the same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things.”
— Winston Churchill
Lastly, no matter how much you dislike the feedback others are giving you, always remember you have a choice. You can simply ignore what they say, or you can take it on board.
By reminding yourself that the choice is yours, not theirs, you are letting go of the idea that somebody is forcing you to change.
If you decide to accept the feedback that is being offered to you, it is because you are deciding to do so. Not because you were told to do so.
A Final Thought
Here’s a final piece of advice on how to deal with criticism: spend a couple of days or a few weeks trying out the advice that is being offered to you. Seriously, give it a go.
If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work. You can always go back to your old self.
But sometimes the feedback we receive is the push we’ve been waiting, the nudge we so desperately needed to accelerate our development and reach our true potential.
You have to believe that criticism will make you stronger. No matter how difficult a pill it is to swallow.
