How To Listen to Others

Do you really understand what they’re saying?

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

There’s a very common phrase that I like to throw out when we talk about understanding and conversing with people:

“Listen to understand, not to react, so that you may respond.”

Now, this phrase in itself mainly applies to conversations that involve some sort of back-and-forth. Typically, and quite obviously, I’m referring to the kinds of conversations where people have different opinions.

However, this isn’t the only context for needing to know how to listen:

• You could be having a conversation with someone about their experiences.
• Talking to someone about how to solve a problem together.
• Figuring out how to come to an agreement.

By opening up our ears to what someone else is saying, we can come to amicable resolutions (This isn’t always the case!). There are other parts to this attempt at understanding.

I keep mentioning understanding, but what does that entail?

In my opinion, understanding is the successor of acknowledgement. Acknowledgement of what someone/what they’re saying is both the gateway and final (almost) step…