How to Make Peace With Your Many Unlived Lives & Dead Dreams

How many lives do you still re-live in your mind that died long ago?

Renuka Gavrani
ILLUMINATION

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There is a world in all of us. A world unknown, and unseen by the world. A world that is either an escape or a prison that keeps us locked in our mental world, pulling us back to life, to a person that we never got to experience or be.

What is this world made of?

The walls of these prisons call for our names just when we are about to move on, let go, or look for something else in the future to be hopeful for. At one point in our lives, we all get to live inside this prison. Some find a key to the cage while others remain an active member of this ‘regret’ club for the rest of their lives.

What Do the Dead Dreams Do?

‘What’s that ‘DREAM’ you cannot stop fantasizing about in your mind that you had to let go long ago?’

I believe,

‘Dreams never die. From inspiration to regret, they change their homes.’

In the past few months, I have wondered and thought about ‘dreams’ obsessively. It intrigues me and turns me on when I think about an idea that has no existence, and no proof comes to our mind and not just mentally but, if we pay attention, physically excites us towards a life that we never thought we wanted.

Sometimes, I wonder if the purpose of human life is to chase dreams. Not in a typical American style but rather let our dreams be our guiding angels, let them take us to a place, a destination that we are meant for. Maybe, dreams are a call from God’s office — showing us what we should want, what is made for us, what we are good for, what is a home to our hearts.

Though, all of that is only if we honestly listen to the voice of our dreams. If we don’t end up picking up the world’s definition of success and happiness. If we have a pure consciousness instead of mental voices that speak the language of our external world.

The majority of us are lucky enough to hear God’s voice through our dreams. At one point or the other, we realize, something in us is trying to speak us — a dream, an idea. That’s when you know, your turn is finally here.

But what do we do with these voices? What do we do with that dream that was supposed to be our ‘calling’?

Unfortunately, many people let it go. They give up on their dreams before starting to work on it. They declare they are not good enough, or the situation isn’t favorable, or it’s too tough, or maybe people will laugh at them, or maybe, this isn’t the right time, or perhaps, it doesn’t seem logical because you are already set in your life so……maybe some other time.

But the other time doesn’t come. Once you let go of an idea that you knew was your true calling, it turns into a big hole of regret that keeps pulling you back — reminding you of the life you could have or the person you could have been.

It’s the prison that cages us all at some point.

It pulls us back to the past — to keep imagining what we could have done, how we could have acted differently, and what would have happened.

But is it of any good use?

What’s gone is gone. It can’t come back. Instead, it robs of us what we have at the moment, what we can do today, and the small pleasures of life available at the moment — all of it tastes bland and not good enough because in our minds, there seems to be a life, and a person that is better, and sweet — something we could have had but don’t because….

The Road to Peace:

‘Why don’t you have the life you imagine in your mind?’

Take a moment and think about the above question with as much honesty as is left in your heart.

I will tell you how it goes and why it hurts to think about the same dream that you let go of.

When an idea comes to your mind, you don’t take action on it. You feel excited. It’s new. It’s refreshing. It makes you believe that this is your chance. This is your purpose. But somehow, you don’t action, as if out of habit, you delay the action.

Or maybe you keep imagining in your mind all that you will do, all the nights you will stay awake, big mugs of coffee you will gulp down, and all the parties invites you will say No to. For days, you imagine yourself taking action in your mind.

But not in reality…

Though, working on it, even if mentally, feels like working on it. You feel that you have been planning and doing all that you could and yet you have never reached a step closer so maybe, you should let go. And then, the switch flips. The inspiration evaporates, the person leaves, the dream dies, the coffee gets cold and suddenly, the possibilities turn into self-doubts.

You begin to wonder, how you will fail, what will go wrong, why it’s not a good time, or why you are not good enough, how you are still a beginner, and why you should plan more and maybe do it some other time when you are more ready.

Thus, the idea, the dream that you let go of voluntarily starts to live inside your head.

But here comes an interesting twist.

Months after you refuse to take action on what you want, you begin to think about the same dreams differently.

Now, you imagine what you could have done, how the opportunity was great, how if you had tried, you could have the life you dream of.

It’s interesting, isn’t it?

When it’s your turn to do something, you convince yourself that you shouldn’t DO the work.

When you don’t have the opportunity anymore and the time has passed, you convince yourself you COULD have DONE the work.

Ironic.

But it’s due to this internal irony that you keep living mentally the life you don’t have, thus robbing yourself of the life you already have.

It’s almost as if you are never in alignment with the timeline of your own life.

Not just that, it’s like you are on a mission to make yourself suffer. First by not allowing yourself to work on your dreams. Then watching the empire of your dreams crumble down to ashes in your mind. And then rebuilding that empire with the bricks of ‘what could have been’ just to keep yourself caged there — keep living the lives you never got to have and thinking of yourself as a person you could have been — thus, never truly meeting the person you are.

Isn’t this…just sad?

Why do we do this to ourselves?

Most importantly, what’s done is done. It’s water under the bridge. Then, why do we keep drowning in the same water? Why can’t we learn to cross the bridge of what could have been our lives and the life we have at the moment?

Conclusion; Break Free From the Prison of Your Mind:

Dreams don’t find you once but they call for you every now and then.

It’s a myth that you only have one purpose or one calling. You don’t get just one but multiple chances. Even if you missed many calls, God aka dreams will call you again until you answer and finally, channel your energy towards it.

There is a purpose of your energy, of your existence. And until you work on something that is truly yours and not just another ‘five-year goal’ that you learned from society, you will keep getting these chances.

However, you can’t listen to these slow whispers if you are busy living a life that never existed. You have to step back in reality so you can live the life you have. So you can give chances to yourself, the person you are right now.

To do that, you have to let go of those unlived lives and dead dreams. You have to leave the hand of the ghost of who you think you could have been. You have to meet yourself in reality, realize where your feet are, and then pick another dream, or another idea to work on. Something else will call for you. Something would want to be worked through you. You will get to live a new life, it will be different than the ones you imagine but it will be real and perhaps more beautiful.

I can say that from experience. There were so many dreams I had to let go of. And so many lives I wish I could live. But in the end, after forgetting about them, when I gave chances to my mundane life, I realized what I have is good too if I don’t compare it with the fantasized version of my mind.

And when I wrote about it in my books or articles, it helped people. It made me a better writer and a successful author.

So perhaps, this time try to let go of the unlived lives and dead dreams with just a simple realization that it was never true and it was never yours to keep. Break free from the ‘could have been’ lives so you can live the one you have and try making your day-to-day life sweeter and better. And maybe, that could be a new dream for now.

If you liked this article, you will love my book — ‘The Magic of Creative Living: A Conscious Path to a Joyful Life.’

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ILLUMINATION
ILLUMINATION

Published in ILLUMINATION

We curate and disseminate outstanding articles from diverse domains and disciplines to create fusion and synergy.

Renuka Gavrani
Renuka Gavrani

Written by Renuka Gavrani

I talk about slow & Intentional living - taking you closer to a happy life. I am a published author of the book 'The Art of Being Alone': https://a.co/d/531JIFq

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