How To Overcome Your Inner Child Fears And Unlock Your Self-Worth?
#Before it’s too late
You had put in so much time and energy creating this one story, or that one video, and you had expected it to go viral online.
But, it’s been days since you hit that creepy Publish button, but your product failed to live up to the expectations that you had set for it.
Or if I say, YOU failed to live up to YOUR expectations.
It is ironic how quickly we as creators start assigning our self-worth with the essays, videos, and reels that we upload online, and so, if they fail, we take it all upon ourselves.
And then, what follows are empty lousy days, being wasted to move on from the past and gather the courage, to motivate yourself to start creating again.
While you might think it is just a recovery period, there’s more behind it.
There is a lack of self-worth behind it.
I had some weird habits growing up.
When sharing bench with others, I would shrink myself to occupy the least space possible.
When at a restaurant, I would never complain if I realized they hadn’t put enough cheese in my pizza.
When sitting in a group where people are discussing things, I would stay quiet thinking about what others would think about me.
It took me a lot of time, actually years to understand that my weird habits were nothing but a lack of self-worth.
Your pain of failure is hidden behind such little habits that you may have never noticed about yourself.
The sense of negative self-worth that you develop as a creator will not stay limited to your laptop and the web.
The heavy sulk you feel from one such scenario isn’t the root cause of your suffering.
That pain is deeper.
The pain that makes you feel ashamed to take space in this world.
The pain that you feel each time you stand in front of the mirror, and notice nothing except your wrinkly face and falling hair.
The pain that ignites its way each time someone throws a compliment at you, but you realize you don’t know how to react to it.
And worse, that compliment digs those parts of you that you feel disgusting about, the unnoticed parts that are still waiting to be appreciated.
The downfall that your emotions experience from one incident, one little incident, is the result of the accumulated bruises you carry around in your heart, and you don’t know about them.
These bruises turn you into your worst enemy.
These bruises are the result of a lack of self-worth.
And there are millions of people across the world silently walking with the same unhealed bruises in their hearts.
I am in my late 30s, and I have spent a large part of my life comparing myself with others.
As a teenager, I was never comfortable in my skin.
I would compare my dark hands with the fair skin of my friends and would use the so-called fairness products because they promised they could give me fair skin in fifteen days.
Of course, that never happened.
As a woman in her early twenties, I was never satisfied with the clothes that I wore.
I would compare my outfits with those of my colleagues and always had this feeling that they had better taste in style and fashion and that I could never compete with them.
Shopping was not joyful for me, as I would literally rip my head in choosing that one outfit that would earn me compliments.
As a woman in her early thirties, I had left my decent-paying job to build something of my own.
I failed.
I would constantly compare myself with my friends who were still working and building their bank balances, while I drained all my savings into buying courses that were not returning anything to me.
I would overthink.
I would feel enormous pressure to do things, but I didn’t know what was to be done.
I would feel like a failure.
I would feel like a purposeless nomad who has been put on Earth by mistake.
I longed for the appreciation I received while I worked in my job.
I would curse myself for making the wrong decision.
So, how did I get rid of a few of those weird habits of the past, and how am I dealing with the fresh ones that I created?
There must be a difference between who I was back then, and who I am today.
Here are three questions that I put myself through often.
Are you the sum of your flaws or the product of your potential?
That is one question you must think about, and answer.
If you are troubled, or not happy with yourself, you will still notice your flaws all the time, but still, give it a try and think.
Who doesn’t have flaws?
Everyone is struggling with their limitations, adversities, disappointments, break-ups, insecurities.
Name one person who you know and has never had those feelings, but they are anyway walking by.
In a school, a teacher creates two different stories. For one student, she keeps pointing out their flaws. And at another, she keeps showering praises.
Which student do you think will grow to be a happier person?
You know the answer.
“Self-worth is so vital to your happiness. If you don’t feel good about you, it’s hard to feel good about anything else.” — Mandy Hale
Your flaws are not your fault.
If you come from the same place, just accept it, and inspire yourself to work.
Your story is still better than the uneducated homeless man sitting on the road thinking about where will he get his next meal from.
Should you still compare, compare yourself with the ones who are less privileged than you.
Analyze, what do you often relate yourself with — your flaws, or your potential?
Are you trying to numb your pain or have grown habitual of it?
You can’t numb your physical pain by delving deep into it. You need painkillers to subside it.
But the emotional pain is scarier.
You can’t scream, you can’t even take painkillers.
But, you can always go to the root of it, asking yourself questions — powerful questions.
And if you journal them, even better.
-How am I feeling?
-Why am I feeling like this?
-When was the last time I felt the same?
-Do I remember the first time I felt this?
-When was that?
Drill deep, till you have no more answers to come up with.
This little thing that you will achieve here is called self-awareness.
You feel more confident when you know yourself better.
Aim for awareness. Of yourself. Then, the world.
Are you the poison, or the antidote?
Just two days ago, I was feeling terrible.
When not feeling right, pick an inspirational book.
I picked up, ‘You can heal your life’ by Louise Hay, for the second time. I had bought it in 2017.
I did the mirror work she recommended in the book. I said powerful affirmations to myself.
Nothing in my world has changed, but I am feeling happier, more energetic, and better enough to write this story.
You can try this for yourself. Right now.
Stand in front of the mirror, and start repeating these two affirmations frantically-
I love myself.
I am worthy.
Within two minutes your body will start responding, and if you do this 2–3 times a day, you won’t take more than a day or two to start feeling your nerves again.
When you stop feeling miserable, and start to take complete ownership of your life, you will come across all the answers you need to change your life.
The thoughts you feed your mind with are the poison, but the same thoughts with a twist, can prove to be a powerful antidote.
Your self-worth is the sense that you deserve to be alive, loved, and cared for, and take up your space in this world.
You may not feel inspired enough to get up and start taking action today.
But do you remember how many years of your precious short life have you spent living miserably?
And does it not scare you that tomorrow when you wake up, you will repeat and feed the same thoughts, the same misery, and the same poison to your body and your mind?
Does it not scare you that five years, ten years, or twenty years down the line, people around you will get better, the world will make progress and get better, AI will get better, but you, you little thing, will still remain in your favourite state of misery?
I rate my self-worth 6/10 as there is a lot of self-work that I still need to do for myself. But, I am glad that I am aware, and I know how to take control each time I realize my self-worth needs a little mental tour.
How would you rate your self-worth?
Your writing journey can be a little lonely with no one to review what you have written, and no one to lift you on the days when you want to call it off.
Your writing journey can be overwhelming as well with so much information available online, and your mind races hard while going through all of that information without absorbing anything.
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