How to stay young forever
What makes a person young? His age, youthful looks, fast brain, or something more?
It’s all the above plus “something more”.
The young man with the hunchback
It is a hot summer morning. A man is walking hurriedly past me, holding a shopping bag and gazing in front of him. His face is sun-kissed and luminous. He seems to be on an important mission.
He doesn't look rich or particularly well off. His aura stops me in my tracks. I see him reach the bus stop. He sits on a bench and stares at the pavement, probably thinking about something important.
His aura seems so vibrant that I want to take his picture. But after a moment’s thought, I decide against it. What will I use as a pretense? That I want to capture his youthfulness? The man will brush me off.
After all, he is probably in his eighties. He has a hunchback, shrunken bones, and a wrinkled face.
Still, he is the youngest person I’ve seen in ages. His aura is like a soft breeze, and I exhale with joy.
Why does my brain categorize this man as young?
I know why.
The man exhibits a handful of traits of young people. His cheeks are red from the sun. He moves fast and purposefully, with vitality, energy, and passion. He seems to have a reason for living: an ikigai. I bet he’s still working.
Life doesn’t seem to have hurt this man. How is this possible?
Getting old before your time
I’ve been on this planet long enough to know what living does to people. Life's challenges, like diseases, financial hardships, and betrayals, can bring people down.
You can get old fast if you are not careful.
You start off as a river -and before you know it- you become a stream, then a lake and a pond until you dry up.
We all get caught in endless mind loops or close our hearts with chains when we get hurt. We stop noticing the good and instead focus on the bad.
Young people, on the other hand, have hope. They try out new things. They have an ikigai. Nothing is set in stone. Life seems endless to them. And it is probably a game.
So how do you stay young forever?
I won’t tell you to practice the long list of 100 longevity habits. I won’t tell you to eat right, get moving, sleep more, limit caffeine and alcohol, stop smoking, stay out of the sun, and take your vitamins. I won’t tell you to attend classes, never stop learning, stay hydrated, or manage stress with yoga and meditation.
I know. You probably feel tired already.
Well, I believe that the secret of this man and all the youthful people I know lies in answering a simple question.
What do you want? What are you hungry for?
Answering this question is not as easy as it seems. Years of conditioning can cloud your answer. Sometimes it takes forever to know who you are or what you want.
But if you can answer this question again and again, if you can stay focused on your own song, you will start shedding years.
With time, your cells will start vibrating differently. You will start doing things more joyously. Practicing new habits won’t be another tactic to stop old age. You will do things because you get a buzz out of weightlifting, running a marathon, or eating a cucumber.
Here’s another example.
The wild woman with the spear gun
A couple of years ago, I got invited to the summer house of a friend who used to be a famous Greek actress. She has piercing green eyes and a keen sense of what she wants, so let’s call her the “wild woman”.
At 23, she decided she wanted a big family. A few months later, she fell in love with a man, quit acting, had three kids and never looked back. “I acted for six years and it was enough,” she said. “Raising my kids brought me tremendous joy.”
You can never get the wild woman to do what you want, because she constantly answers her own question. She now wants to eat spaghetti with pesto, she then wants a nap, go for a drink or tend to her garden. She does what she wants and there is no way around it.
So, it’s a beautiful summer’s morning. I’m reading my book on the private beach of the wild woman when she walks past me holding a spear gun.
“I’ll catch some fish for lunch,” she says, “won’t be long.” I’m nodding in response, but after a couple of minutes I put my book down and ponder.
Is it ok for her to fish? After all, she is 78 years old, and had hip replacement last year. But then again, why not? She is still young.
She has a ton of confidence, endless vitality, and the ability to make everything seem exciting and fresh. She dances in the moonlight, cooks the best pasta, and laughs her heart out, always saying the most unexpected things.
It seems like she asks herself the question “what do I truly want?” over and over and living out the answers.
And the current answer is: “I want to catch some fish with a speargun”.
I suddenly realize that I want to be like her. Carefree, courageous, fresh, exuberant.
After dinner, I ask the wild woman for advice. What advice would she give her younger self?
“Whatever you choose to do, do it with your whole heart,” she replies.
So, ask, give your answer, and go for it.
Stay young and wild.
Love,
J.
