How To Stop Over-Complicating Your Life
Why do we complicate things that are, in reality, simple in nature?
One day, a friend of mine (let’s call him Daniel), called me abruptly in the middle of the day. I say abruptly, because we weren’t the closest of friends, and I wasn’t expecting a call from him at such a random time.
What he told me throughout that entire conversation can be described in just one sentence: my life is crap.
He went on to great lengths to explain why his life wasn’t the way he wanted it to be. The main reasons were:
- His old friends seemed to not be in touch with him anymore — that no one called him to check on him, and this led him to a rather irrational and unfounded conclusion: that no one liked him.
- His work life was a mess — trying to work two jobs at once is never easy, but the fact that he had to put in effort after effort just to make ends meet made him feel burned out. Despite that, he felt severely inadequate, re-iterating the phrase, “I’m just not enough”. Compared with his other friends, he was still far behind in the game of life — so he thought.
I’m sure Daniel isn’t alone, for there are probably many more people who feel the same way regularly. But this way of thinking perhaps drives us away from reality — and we need to be asking ourselves, should we complicate matters in our heads too much?
If Daniel’s old friends aren’t in touch with him, they may be simply too busy in their own lives. If his work life is a mess, it simply means that he hasn’t found his path yet, not that he’s inadequate or a “loser”.
Here are 3 ways how you can avoid thinking like Daniel.
Material wealth isn’t everything
While it’s easy to get caught up in pursuing material goods and wealth, at the end of the day money can’t buy happiness or fulfillment. Some of the most miserable people are those who seem to “have it all” financially.
And that’s why, we must remember, that chasing material wealth shouldn’t be the ultimate goal of our lives. There’s so much more — nature, building relationships, working on our intellect, becoming a better person — that we need to improve, and these are things that’ll genuinely make us happy.
And when we focus on the right things, we avoid falling into the maze of over-complicating things.
So the next time you feel you’re mentally getting caught up over something, ask yourself: am I trying to chase something materialistic, or something that’ll only give me momentary pleasure?
Accept your limitations
I love pilots, and I love planes as well, but if I started beating myself up (mentally) for not becoming a pilot, I’d feel exactly like Daniel: inadequate.
Sometimes, life isn’t easy, and we need to accept that. Sometimes, it doesn’t favor us despite us doing everything we can to mold it into our expectations. Is it luck, bad timing, or just pure randomness?
Whatever it is, there is always an element of uncertainty that follows us at each step, and we need to learn to accept ourselves for the way we are. We’re imperfect, we screw up sometimes, but at the end of the day, we’re just trying our best.
A little love from yourself won’t hurt.
Live with integrity
Accepting your limitations doesn’t mean not working on them.
Staying in denial is something that we use to complicate our lives. We say we did the best we could, when in fact, we know we could’ve tried harder, but we suppress that.
That’s where integrity comes in: you need to be honest with yourself. Rather than making excuses, dare to acknowledge areas where you can improve. Be willing to step outside your comfort zone, seek help from others, and put in the effort to grow. While acknowledging limitations is healthy, resigning yourself to remaining limited is not.
Let’s face it, these tips aren’t new. They’re simply reminders that making small changes in our thinking can yield great results. It’s not rocket science, and it’s certainly not complicated. The choice is yours — do you want to be another Daniel, or do you want to simplify your life?
Thanks for reading
Are you interested in mental health and psychology? Did you know that suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death in the US for the ages 10–34? Consider subscribing to my Substack newsletter The Mental Cadence — a newsletter dedicated to exploring and empowering mental health. It’s completely free, and I’m sure you won’t regret it.
