How to Uncomplicate Relationships
5 Ways to Infuse More Love into Them
“Let your love be like the misty rains, coming softly, but flooding the river.” ~Malagasy Proverb
Relationship status: Complicated, is what gets seen around more and more on social media these days. When we think of relationships, immediately the word “complicated” seems to get formed in our minds.
I recently met a friend after a really long hiatus, and when I asked her how things were going with her Husband…all she could say was “let it be, it’s complicated…”. Just to clarify, this is the one person who was the most open about everything in her life, and couldn’t keep a secret even if it meant earning millions from it. If she could just not talk about something, it meant it was something huge. I probed a bit further, and after much ado she went on to say, “the spark is gone. its no longer the same as it was in the beginning. He doesn’t notice me or have long conversations with me. I don’t know what to do. I just go about my day and work as if nothing has happened. What else can I do? I cant become 21 again na…!”
Most of us have amazing people in our lives.
Be it a partner, friend, roommate, brother, sister, cousin, parents, colleagues. I say amazing cause each of them, whether you like it or not, or acknowledge it or not have added some positive value to your life. Its another thing that you have chosen to focus on the negative value and thus given yourself heartache.
But each person has a big bundle of positive values that they add to your life. These positive values come in the form of a helping hand, someone who listens to you ramble when you are upset, someone who doesn’t judge you, someone who truly values you for YOU.
But don’t get me wrong, not all people are full of positives, and sometimes their negatives outweigh their positives. Hey! do you think you are so awesome to be around that no one around you needs to think twice? Think again…we are not perfect! In fact when it comes to our own self we tend to think we are little angels sent from above, who can’t do no harm! Seriously! Aren’t we all living under a cloud?
We all have our issues, our negatives. But when there are people around you who can dig deeper in you to still be there for your negatives, don’t you think its only fair that we try the same for them?
Love like You Mean it
When was the last time we were truly appreciative of the people in our life?
When my friend finished her long list of issues she had with her hubby, I asked her, “when was the last time you told him you loved him like you really meant it?” Puzzled at the question she said, “we tell each other i love you everyday. Every time he leaves for work he says it and so do I…”
I asked again, “like you truly meant it. Like you used to tell him when you were dating or newly married. With that much love and feeling?” She paused for a few minutes. She was clearly thinking about it. And very softly, under her breath, she said “I don’t know when”.
Isn’t this the case with most of our relationships. We have forgotten to truly love them. OK, we love them, but do we really show them how much we love them?
5 Ways to Infuse More Love into Your Relationship
Here are a few ways you can make sure all your relationships are getting the right amount of loving that’s required to keep them happy, healthy and blossoming always:
- Notice with love: Take time to notice from your mundane life. And when you notice something nice, make sure you compliment with love. Put some feeling into that compliment…and watch how the person on the other end beams with love too.
- Understand with love: Try to understand that the opposite person can also be having a bad day. How sweetly do you act when you are tensed or tired? Exactly…the other person could be feeling just that. Let them be. Show them you love them and you care for them, just by sitting there. You don’t always need words to show your love, or for the other person to feel it.
- Act with love: Make the effort to do something new at least once in a week. Just to spice things up. Something that’s out of the ordinary, yet shows the opposite person you love and care about them. Actions do speak louder than words.
- Breathe with love: When you are upset or angry about something, just breathe first. Take 10 deep breaths and think if your bursting like an atom bomb is really necessary. Will it solve anything? It usually never does. In fact, it’s in these times when arguments can crop up and range from your family, my family, your head, my shoes, your attitude, my attitude, the door knob not being fixed….and by the end of it, neither know where it all started in the first place. Hmm….wouldn’t it have just been better to calm down, rather than waste all that energy in tampering with your relationship?
- Accept with love: Most of the time all the heartaches we have are because we want to at some deeper level want to change the opposite person to fit our little mold. We want to change them to be how we want them to be. We waste precious time and energy in doing this…and then still complain after years and years “he/she will never change”. When in all reality, its your expectations that have changed. The opposite person is still exactly the same person you fell in love with. If your expectations of him/her have changed, its not their fault. Accepting with love is imperative to the success of any relationship.
If we can just put our egos aside and operate from our hearts, we will see how easy it is to live from love. In living from love, we will notice no negativity, we will have no complains and we will have more happier and loving lives. Accepting our own imperfections, makes it easier for us to accept the imperfections of others and still love and celebrate them.
Love knows no malice, no negativity. It comes from a pure and gentle heart and it touches other hearts amalgamating all into Oneness. We are all byproducts of this Oneness. And this oneness is divine. Divinity can not be complicated.
Just read the last 3 lines over and over again, till it fits into your heart like the blood pumping in its veins. You will never feel or live anything but love…thereby infused in love. So will all your relationships.
Positive Healing Energy to all your happy, beautiful, blossoming, loving relationships….. 🙂
What about you? Do you have any tips on how to uncomplicate your relationships and infuse more love in them? Please share your wisdom in the comments.
With Love, Zeenat Merchant Syal, M.A, M.Sc
Zeenat Merchant Syal is a Practicing Counseling Psychologist & Spiritual Counselor. She writes on Healing the Mind, Heart & Soul through Positivity on Positive Provocations & offers Online Counseling there too.
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*A version of this post originally appeared on www.PositiveProvocations.com*
