I can’t teach you how to be a woman.
A Poem —
I can’t teach you how to be a woman
Sorry.
I can’t teach you how to be a woman
Because it takes just a little more than being human
And tender is life, a great quest I’m still learning how to bloom in
Winds from the sky create a whirlwind in the ground to swoon me
I can’t teach you how to be a woman
Because my mother died when I was young
To the women who still exist in my life, I often clung
And I learned from the whispers of women who sunk
From seasonal womankind elapsing through my life far-flung
I can’t teach you how to be a woman, see
The dos and don’ts still confound even me
The rules of my tribe flicker and gleam
In my head, they flash in constant blinkers and scream
I still count on my wounded fingers; these laws are supreme
I can’t teach you how to be a woman
I can’t teach you to scan every room you enter
Mark faces, you may need to ID them later
Be brilliant, but only a little, don’t be a big-noter
Buy a bottle of pepper spray, pretend you don’t own one
Embody perfection, shine every feature
Bury your imperfections, use a concealer
Say yes with a smile until you feel safer
Share your Uber rides with a friend; a lifesaver
Be on the phone with your dad or brother
We won’t forget the tales of our sisters
I can’t teach you how to be a woman
By the standards of a backward cycle
Of falling at the feet of injustice
Of tied arms and stolen voices
Of weakness assigned to elegance
Of societal expectations beyond reason
Of newly defined beauty standards per season
Of womanhood termed “a downside of existence”
I can’t teach you how to be a woman
Who falls back in defeat
Who says yes in repeat
Who melts in the heat
And wouldn’t thrive to compete
I can’t teach you to trust the system
Or knock on doors expecting that they open
I can’t promise that you’ll be understood
Even on journeys that leave you broken
Moments of weakness ever unspoken — Your truth will leave you forsaken
So, no, I can’t teach you how to be a woman.
© Aisha Aminu 2023. All Rights Reserved.
