I Didn’t Want to Put Him in the Friend Zone but I had to
I want to keep him but my big girl conscience says no, put him back.
For most of my adult life, I’ve indulged in being a homebody and gradually mastered the art of enjoying my own company.
Naturally, this means I don’t often get to meet new people. For me, I find no issue with this- I’m grateful to have friends I’ve all known for a minimum of 10 years who don’t seem too sick of me yet.
I won’t deny, sometimes I do long for a fresh perspective, for a friend I can delve into new topics with and explore different interests outside of what I know my girls are interested in.
One particular occasion, my wish came true but it wasn’t long before I realised it was due to end in disappointment.
It was a late Saturday morning, the sun was beating through my wall length windows and I was consistently wiping beads of sweat from across my forehead when I took a break from my weekly house clean to check my socials- that’s when I saw a message from him. A fellow lover of words who jumped into my DM’s (direct messages) with some voluntary feedback on my latest blog post in my stories.
His comments were flattering yet still constructive, we exchanged messages back and for the remainder of the day without running short on what to say next.
The chat became more personal as time went on and we eventually agreed to meet on a rare, spontaneous occasion.
We clicked straight away. We related effortlessly, laughed frequently and even shared some our deepest traumas, all on the same day. Needless to say, we were comfortable!
I let him know when I got home safely (as requested) and he responded straight away and began showering me with compliments. As a lover of words of affirmation, this pleased my soul and had my smiling from ear to ear as I fell into a wondrous deep sleep.
It took me a while to realise we wasn’t on the same page. I was loving and lapping up our flirty friendship while it seemed he had plans for more:
“I can’t stop thinking about you, when’s our next date?”
Date?! Oops! I didn’t know that’s what we were doing.
I had to engage in serious combat with my selfish old ways NOT to continue obliviously just so I could preserve what we had, the way only I wanted.
Once I told him how I felt, I barely heard from him- understandably.
The instant connection I found with him is hard to come by and it hurt like hell telling him he’s been friend-zoned (not in so many words). I still think about him but I know it wouldn’t help anything by letting him know.
Do you think two people could ever have a close friendship when there’s one-sided attraction, or should distance be maintained?
