ILLUMINATION
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ILLUMINATION

I Failed, and I Thought, “Maybe It’s Time to Give Up”

Photo by Aarón Blanco Tejedor on Unsplash

I failed, and it hurt. I started to think “maybe I am a failure after all”. I remember all the hours put into studying and staying up late. I started to think I wasn’t smart enough. This mindset killed every sort of belief or self-esteem I had in myself but what made it more painful at that time was, it was made public for the world to see.

Failing in school means either taking the class over or taking the year over. And I was so concerned with what people would think of me. At that point I was yet to realize that I was dealing with something much more than just failing a class, I also had an ego problem and I thought failing one class was the end of the world.

Because of this, I buried my head in shame, but as I grow older, I have come to realize failing is all part of the learning curve. Even though I had every reason to worry or even be afraid, I had still not realized that all of that was normal. So, I’ll tell you for free today that, It is normal to fail and even more common than people talk about.

Your life is a journey, it is your journey and you always have to remember that. It is not a race, it is your journey and no matter how many setbacks you have or how many times you fail, the defining point of your journey, is what you do after that.

What I have come to realize and I think you also need to realize is that it is your life and you have to live it on your terms.

So, it is alright to fail, and even though it doesn’t always feel like that at that moment and it is not the outcome you planned for. It doesn’t mean you are not smart enough, or you are dumb, or you are a failure. It just means you were not prepared enough the first time and you have to go again.

You failed that test or didn’t get that job, or you were rejected for whatever reason. The question to be asked is, what are you going to do about it? Are you going to give up or you are going to keep trying?

5 things I learned from older people when I asked for what they have learned in their lifetime.

Okay, you failed and you have to go through the process again? So go again.

You have been trying so hard for something, but it’s not working? Okay, try another method, but don’t stop trying. But the moment you throw in the towel, that’s the end. And I won’t call that failure, but you gave up.

You gave up on that big dream you had when you first started and you are giving up on that brilliant mind. So allow yourself to be disappointed for a while, but don’t give up because your future self will thank you for not giving up.

Remember, you have had a setback before. Now you have to work even harder to fight against that voice in your head that keeps telling you that you can’t do it. Also, you are probably looking at your mates because it seems like they have their lives figured out. And it’s fine.

It’s fine to want to be like them, but where you need to draw the line is comparing yourself with them because it probably won’t help you and you don’t need that.

A perfect illustration would be to watch a baby and see what happens when they try to take their first step. They fall but they go again, and again and again, right up till the point where they are firm on their feet.

I have had the chance to sit with older people and I’ll share 5 things I learned from them when I asked them about lessons they have learned in their lifetime.

  1. Stop worrying about what people think about you. It doesn’t matter.
  2. Don’t spend too much time wallowing in regret if you ever made a wrong decision. Just learn your lesson and move on.
  3. Your life goes by fast, but with each day that comes, you think you still have time, but you don’t. Do what you need to do and get it over with.
  4. People don’t think about you as much as you think. Sometimes it’s all in your head.
  5. Life is lived by making mistakes and learning from them.

So learn from your mistakes and don’t let them bring you down because you are so much better than that. But you need to come to terms with the fact that there is NO shame in failing. It is all part of a learning process.

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Desola Banjo

Desola Banjo

Copywriter and writer.

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