I Finally Had What I Always Wanted
But I was Miserable Inside
I sat on the torn-up sofa in my rundown trailer in the trashy Trailer Park. Where my uncle and I had lived for the past seven years. After my uncle passed away I was living alone for the first time in my life.
After living with family my whole life I got lonely in no time at all. I had no idea how to get out and meet people women in particular. I tried online dating. I had a real good time. I was having fun and not sleeping alone. I felt like I was being an adult.
So why was I feeling lonelier than ever? I didn’t understand my feelings and it was confusing. My self-confidence was higher than it had ever been. After living my adult life under the thumbs of my parents I was finally being an adult.
I was in one-dimensional relationships that were shallow and without meaning. I didn’t know what to do, so God took care of it for me. After getting evicted, I stayed with the blonde for a few weeks. Things didn’t work out and I ended up homeless in Minneapolis.
The last thing I wanted or needed was to be in another relationship. I started talking to an African-American woman on Facebook. She lived in South Carolina. We talked for two years before we met when she flew up to see me. A year later I flew to South Carolina and We married in our church on September tenth twenty-seventeen. In Florida, I thought I had everything I wanted. I had to lose everything and almost lose my sanity and ruin my physical health to understand that God had a better plan for my life.
If going through all that to be with my wife and to have the life I have now is what had to happen. It was worth it.
