I Have Two Families
3 Lessons that I’ve learned from Having Four Parents
I was pedaling my bike, carrying too many bags to count.
I was taking all my belongings with me.
I was switching again to my other parent’s house.
I was going to my other life.
I hope that you may gain a new perspective from mine.
Living A Double Life
I Have Four Parents
My biological Mom and my Dad. And my biological Father and my Mother
I have 2 Younger Sisters on my Mom’s Side,
(They are sweet, loving, and vicious)
And I have a Younger Brother and Sister on my Father’s side.
(I used to butt heads with my brother, but we’ve grown. And my youngest sister is in a world of her own.)
They’re all amazing.
Here are 3 lessons that I’ve learned from growing up in two houses:
- KNOW that people love you, instead of feeling it.
Do your loved ones ensure that you’re not starving or thirsty?
Do your loved ones check up on you, and do things for you to be ok?
Have your loved ones sacrificed time, energy, or money to show their love to you?
If you’ve said yes to these questions, I think it’s likely that they love you.
And Here’s something about Love:
It’s more than just a feeling.
It’s also the services and support that someone does for another person.
Maybe you don’t feel loved all the time. That’s ok.
You can recall actions that someone has performed for you.
Then you can Know that you are loved based on that evidence.
I think it’s good to remind ourselves of the proofs of love that someone has shown us.
For example, in my family, my parents ensured that my siblings and I had a roof over our heads and food and water in our bellies.
And they continue to sacrifice their time, money, and energy for us, every day.
I may not feel loved all the time, but I can look at the evidence from their actions and Know that we are loved, despite my feelings.
I will always be grateful for them no matter what.
2. Treat Others In A Way That
You Would Want Them To Treat Other People
In my life, I’ve been able to step back from both families and see how relationships are affected when certain conflicts occur.
There are running themes that I’ve noticed, and behavior reflection is one of them.
Behavior Reflection:
What you express to someone, will be reflected outwards from them.
This behavior is from a principle I like to call:
Emotional Influence
Emotional Influence is where the emotions and feelings behind words and actions are impressed onto someone else.
Like when we positively encourage someone with love.
Or when we negatively put someone down with spitefulness.
The emotion of positive love or negative spitefulness is being passed from one person to another.
I believe the feelings are stored inside the receiver’s soul until it is released through their actions and words.
I bring this up because, in situations where negative actions and words are expressed onto another person, I believe those negative feelings are received, bottled in, and then outwardly expressed from them.
For instance, if I were to YELL at my younger brother in ANGER, the emotion of anger would hold within him until he expresses it.
And it’s very likely that he will express it onto another person.
In a family environment, where there is a constant exchange of emotions and feelings; positive and negative dynamics can go back and forth in endless cycles.
That is why I believe it is important to be mindful of how you behave to others.
Especially to the ones that you love and see the most.
3. You Can’t Control Other People
I, nor anyone in my family is perfect.
I don’t think any humans are.
We have flaws, and we make mistakes, because we are mankind.
We can remind ourselves of that fact when we criticize other people.
Furthermore, as much as we would like to shape or change how other people behave, we must understand that we cannot control them.
In light of our imperfections and our inability to mold other people, I encourage you to accept your loved ones as they are, and focus on bettering yourself instead.
Conclusion
How many families do you have?
Coolio.
I hope that you take these lessons of:
- Reminding Yourself of Your Evidence of Love
- Being Mindful of Your Behavior
- and Focusing on Bettering Yourself Rather Than Trying To Change Other People
and apply them to your life today.
I hope you have an amazing day, and an even better tomorrow.
-Gyson Dominic
Special thanks to my girlfriend, Gracelin Mahealani for helping me edit and work on this article. I appreciate and love her.
Thank You Reader for Checking this one out!
Here’s another article from me about A Big Mistake I made in my life:
I hope to see you in the next one. Mahalo!
