I Tried the Most Popular Billionaire Morning Routine and Here’s What Happened

I don’t know if this life is for me

Photo by NEOM on Unsplash

As a non-billionaire, I figured I should try living like one to expedite my finances. So I attempted the typical billionaire morning routine with interesting results:

1. Wake up early at a set time. Yeah, 4am is a hard pass. I chose 7am but barely crawled out of bed by 7:30 and still wanted to sue my alarm clock for emotional damages.
2. Meditate or practice mindfulness. Supposedly, billionaires meditate to calm their minds. I gave it a shot but sitting alone with my thoughts for 10 minutes felt like an eternity in the bad place. Checking social media to avoid responsibilities was definitely more my speed.
3. Exercise or do yoga. Namaste in bed. The only yoga I could muster was downward-facing dog under the covers. Maybe I’ll plank for 10 seconds after I take the scenic route to the fridge.
4. Drink water with lemon. Tried it — didn’t suddenly feel like a wealthy mogul. A venti oat milk chai seemed more appropriate.
5. Plan out your day and set goals. My goal is to keep my sanity through this morning. Then Nintendo Switch for the win!
6. Read news articles to stay informed. I figured reading my horoscope would give…