ILLUMINATION
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ILLUMINATION

If I Were To Choose Between Amazon Prime And My Husband, I Would Choose Amazon!

Sorry, hubby.

Photo by Mikhail Nilov from Pexels

Don’t judge me right away. Hear me out.

The other day I and my husband were driving back home when I got a call. It was from the Amazon delivery guy, waiting at my doorstep, to deliver an order. As I asked him to wait for another 5 minutes till we reach home, I saw my husband smiling. When I asked why, he said, “You rely so much on Amazon, I sometimes feel like it is your husband!”

He kept on driving and talked about something else, but I was stuck with what he had just said.

Really, partner, you are not very far from the truth! In fact, I rely more on Amazon than you!

What you will read below is my argument to prove that point.

Argument №1 — Patience

My husband would always hold my hand lovingly(?) when we go shopping. I find that really cute till later I realized that it was a strategy (effective one) to prevent my occasional detours in the mall. Not that he is worried about shelling out the bucks, it is because my purchase process is a tad time-consuming.

While my husband is a reflex purchaser, I am not. He doesn’t put a lot of thinking into buying. Like it, take it. That’s his shopping philosophy.

I, on the contrary, always do proper research before purchasing. I want to compare things, look at offers, check for dates, ingredients (if edible or consumable products), etc.

So, you see the jam, here.

With Prime, I can do all that, and more!

I can look into as many things as I want. Has it ever happened to you that Amazon has stopped saying you have exceeded the maximum number of searches! Never! Right?

In fact, it implores me to look into so many products- similar products, related products, and sometimes even unrelated products. Hmm. The excitement to show me stuff is almost palpable. I can say without an iota of doubt that it will never ditch me between my purchases, citing reasons like it’s taking too long or that store is at thaaaaat end of the mall.

Don’t like this? Wait, I will fetch something else. Okay, how about this? Still no? I know what you want. Here darling. Can’t say no to this. See the reviews. It’s a bestseller. It’s my choice!

I love it! Feels pampered.

Argument №2 — Returns

I know what my hubby will say.

No problem, wear it at home. And if it is home wear- give it away/ donate it. Imagine how long it will take to go there and the queues! Remember?

Or a still better technique- next weekend, for sure. And before you know, it is already past the return window. Argh!

Nothing like that happens with my Prime. Return? Please, I am happy to do that for you. (Hubby, pay attention. That’s how you woo a lady.)

The best part- no dissuasion and no questions asked.

With my husband dear- Return? But why? No no, it looks perfect. Trust me. The color suits you. Take my word.

And the returns don’t have to wait for a weekend; it is done the next day! How cool is that?

Now imagine a notch up.

Prime lets me cancel orders that have already been shipped. I remember the day I realized I could do that. Trust me, it felt like liberation day to me!

I cannot even begin to imagine telling my husband to go back and return the stuff on his way back home!!!!

Feeling even more pampered.

Argument №3 — “ Anything you want, baby!”

One of the major reasons my husband agrees to shop is because it also involves eating at some point in time. After barely an hour of looking around, he is hungry. His enthusiasm knows no limit when trying out a new food outlet. But when it comes to checking out a new store-meh!

“Oh, really? Okay, let’s do that after we grab a bite. Later-isn’t it too late now? And think of how long it will take us to go back. We should push off now. Traffic, baby. Next time, for sure.”

And Prime?

Check this out. Look what’s new! Did you see this?

It’s like my soulmate. If I have been checking out a dress sometimes over here, it pokes me with the same dress while I am doing something else! Yeah, I have realized it’s AI and stuff, but so what? I feel good. I can’t imagine hubby darling doing that- “ Hey! You were checking this out earlier. Did you like it?” Nope, never happening.

I am in love.

Argument №4 — Always ready!

No, not for sex. That round, my husband wins. Anyways, I was referring to giving attention. Night 2 am. After 2 pm. Doesn’t matter what time, it is always up. Prime, I meant.

No mood swings, no I-am-busy-with-something, no I-am-tired, or no can-we-do-this-later BS. It is just there, ready with the same enthusiasm as the last time you checked.

How refreshing is that in any relationship? Did I say relationship? Eh, maybe. But, I am serious about it.

Argument №5 — No charges

I remember ‘bribing’ my husband a lot of times to drag him to go shopping with me; something he doesn’t enjoy much but I don’t want to do it alone all the time, either. So, there it is. The additional effort from my side.

But with Prime, nothing like that is happening. Same-day delivery! Can you beat that? It’s almost like a genie! You ordered and wham! It’s at your doorstep. It takes me longer to decide what time to go and what to wear!

It has saved me a lot of time. Last-minute things. Black leggings for a school trip to cashew nuts for that gravy, almost forgotten birthday gifts to mobile phones.

It’s my knight in shining armor.

So, listen...

That said, I am happy with my relationship with Prime.

Yes, hubby, you are absolutely right. I rely more on it than you.

Secret shared- even my husband’s life is much easier with Prime. Saves him a lot of time and makes some more to try the new restaurant he was checking out. All happy!

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Lipika

Lipika

Unapologetically me | Words on Parenting, Writing, Life, Self-development. Reach me at lipikasahu194@gmail.com. Check out freebies — https://lipika.gumroad.com

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