If you are planning on being successful, prepare to do it alone.


Image courtesy of Dwayne Adderley via Canva

German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer was correct when he wrote, “at the height, it must be lonely”. In other words, if you are planning on being successful, prepare to do it alone.

Before I proceed further, let me set the house rules. When I say, “being successful”, I am referring to achieving personal goals that you have set for yourself. It does not allude that you have “arrived” and have nothing further to accomplish.

We live in a confusing society where you have friends if you are not being progressive. These same friends secretly complain to others about you not doing anything with your life. Then, when you decide to achieve various goals, these persons become irate as they perceive you as doing too much. Humans are fine if you are not accomplishing more than they are.

You must always be mindful of the fact that your dreams and aspirations are for you alone. Most people around you will not be able to comprehend or appreciate them until you have succeeded. Therefore, when sharing these visions, accept their head-nods and half-smiles and keep it moving.

I recently had a conversation with a former schoolmate whom I shall call Mary to protect the innocent. She was telling me about an investment property that she owns and was renovating. Mary recalled how, in the early stages of acquiring the property, several of her friends would regularly visit her. She further informed me that as work progressed on the duplex and it became more beautiful, the friends stopped visiting. Being the person I am, I told Mary that maybe they ceased their visits out of fear that Mary would ask them to help with the renovations. My theory was quickly dashed after Mary informed me she never asked them for help. She did however note that as the building became more opulent, the less they visited her. What would drive these humans to celebrate when the place was under par, but scatter after completion?

This behavior has been observed in the political arena for years. The higher you climb, the more opposition you encounter. No matter how great a plan is, the opposing party has an obligation to dislike it. I have a firm belief that if a leader tells a member on the other side of the aisle; they are great, that person will wholeheartedly disagree.

There is another person in my inner circle who would never divulge her accomplishments and successes to anyone; even when I encouraged her to do so. I have always been a believer that success is to be shared and celebrated. Not as a form of being braggadocious, but to inspire. Over the years, I understood why she kept these milestones to herself. It reduces the accumulation of enemies.

Not to be misunderstood. I have a core group of friends who support all my ventures, even though they are not obligated to. These individuals send me words of encouragement and are not hesitant to give me their honest opinions. I love and adore them. They are my fuel.

I have learned to protect my friends and acquaintances from themselves. Most of my core circle are not concerned about my ventures. They love me for who I am because I am so lovable. Through this approach, I rarely expose that core group to my projects. My writing community is not concerned about my NFT community and my NFT community doesn’t give a Bitcoin about my Consulting Firm. I keep them all separated through various media platforms. Just like any good business venture, I had to learn who my target audience was.

Most of my clients and subscribers are unknown faces in countries around the world. These people are not ashamed to celebrate my books, blogs, and merchandise. I am always thankful when they share messages to reveal how much they like a particular item. I now wonder if they are free to do this because I am not a friend of theirs.

At this point, if you’re still awake, you may be confused over the fact that I am writing about persons around you not celebrating your success yet having a core group of supporters. For clarity, that’s how they became my core. The more you accomplish, the more people fade away from your life. When you arrive at your pinnacles, the people who remain are your core. They will not always understand you, but they will be there for you.



Dwayne Adderley, MBA,LPQ Dwayneadderley.com

Business Consultant, Entrepreneur, and Writer. Subject matter expert in Business Operations, Aviation and Loss Prevention.