PERSONAL
I’m Not Here Yet — I Need Coffee
Before my coffee, I’m not fully alive. My brain doesn’t brain. My body doesn’t work. I am a jumbly mess incapable of things like language.
Before coffee, I am not smart. Or coordinated. The dog can’t hold it in the morning. I have to walk him when I am only half-human before I can load up on coffee.
The neighbor sometimes says words to me while I’m in this altered state. I literally cannot understand what she is saying. She is so nice but all I can do is stare and walk away. I have to come back later when I speak English.
I trip over my own feet walking the dog. Today my winter hat slid over my eyes while I was walking and carrying a leash and a doggy poop bag. That’s THREE things (eyes, leash, bag) and two hands! Too much math before coffee. I was stuck on the sidewalk for a while because I couldn’t see or figure out how to move the bag and the leash into the same hand to adjust my hat. It’s that bad.
Sometimes people tell me they don’t like hot drinks. I have cousins that say this. I’ll be honest here…I think less of them. I drink hot black coffee in the morning and hot black tea later in the day. When I see people with gallon jugs of creamy, sugary “coffee” drinks with a straw…
