I’m scaring to lose myself again.
All my life, I’ve always been so afraid of being left behind — over and over again.
Though I pretend that it doesn’t hurt me, I can’t still hide the pain in my chest that is trying to break me into pieces when I’m alone.
I’m afraid when somebody leaves me, I’m afraid that he’ll find someone else and forget me after that.
My trembling hands and gloomy eyes can’t deny my fear. But I let go anyone who wants to leave, and that’s because — I’m used to it.
I’m tired of begging someone to stay. I’m tired of saying I’m okay just because I don’t want to lose someone, when the truth is, sometimes I just wish silently for somebody to keep me.
I am tired of letting go, and I’m sick of saying goodbye. I have been waiting for somebody to take care of me.
I want to love someone who loves me not just at the beginning.
I want to love without feeling scared that I might be replaced someday.
I love too much, and I hope someone will see it and protect me from any heartbreak.
I wonder how many people should I let go before I find someone who will keep me.
Because what they don’t know about me is that, I have the fear of being abandoned by the ones I wished to stay in my life forever.
