In Love, Women Are Usually Right
Mixing negative emotions with the problem or obstacle in front of us is never good. Problems are always there, whether we like it or not, right? Life without problems would be somewhat dull because problems (as hard as they may be) can inject a huge dose of adrenaline and fun into us. Solving problems makes us stronger, and through problem-solving, we grow as individuals. If that’s the case, why do we still perceive problems as something negative? Because sometimes they can be difficult to solve and take us out of our comfort zone. For example, a entrepreneur isn’t happy when he might not have enough to pay his employees’ wages, a boxer isn’t happy when he loses his first match in his career, a taxi driver isn’t happy when unpleasant and loud people get into his vehicle, a mother isn’t happy when her child’s cry wakes her up at 3 in the morning. All of these are problems that need to be solved, and all of them take us out of our comfort zone. Some problems are harder to solve, and some are easier. However, after we solve the problems, our mental strength increases. The more problems we solve, the more we progress and become stronger.
“The important thing about a problem is not the solution, but the strength we gain in finding a solution”
― Seneca
In this article, I’ll delve into why it’s essential for a man to address issues in a relationship and why it’s rare for a woman to be at fault in relationship conflicts. Also, it’s important to note that I am a man and genuinely hold this belief. Setting ego aside, let’s dive into the discussion.
My story begins a decade ago. I was in a relationship with a girl whom I still regard as a very high-quality and good person. For the purpose of this story, I won’t use her real name; let’s call her Lana. Lana is undoubtedly one of the best women I’ve ever met in my life. Currently, I’m happily involved with my best match (in my humble opinion). At the start of my relationship with Lana, I was very happy. I loved spending time with her, and I truly felt that this relationship was significantly different from any I had experienced before. During that period of my life, I also had a very clear and precise life goal. I wanted to box. More precisely, I wanted to win the national amateur boxing championship. Spending a significant amount of time with Lana somehow distracted me from my goal, and I started to worry about it. I wanted to talk to someone about how to get back to intense training, and I wanted to understand what was exactly happening with me. I was genuinely unaware of the problem, let alone the solution. I confessed everything to my best friend at the time, from the happy relationship to neglecting boxing. He had a solution. At least, it seemed so. He said something really silly and completely illogical, which seemed perfect to me at the time. He said that Lana was stealing my identity, and diverting me from my goal. He also said I should break up with her because of that. It was a huge blow, a huge shock for me. Did I have to sacrifice my relationship for my personal goal? That question constantly crossed my mind. After a short conversation, I trusted him. I came to the conclusion that it was true. I called Lana and told her we needed to meet urgently. When we met, I told her not to take it personally, but that she was stealing my identity and diverting me from my goals. After that, I told her we needed to break up because my goal was my top priority. Lana was naturally disappointed with the breakup, and at that moment, I wasn’t sure anymore if I was talking nonsense or if I had made the right decision. As the days went by, I somehow suppressed my sadness and replaced it with intense training. I definitely didn’t have time to think about the breakup. When I came home, I engaged in any activity just to avoid sitting alone with my thoughts for a second. Yes, that’s how men deal with breakups. Perhaps a bit silly, but effective! However, after 8 months of the breakup, I accidentally bumped into Lana in town. We started to have a very pleasant conversation and ended it with the agreement to have a longer get-together next time. That same evening when I got home, I couldn’t stop thinking about her. My mind was racing. I couldn’t sleep the whole night. Did I make the right decision by breaking up with Lana? That was the question I sought an answer to. After a sleepless night, I experienced enlightenment where I realized that breaking up with Lana was not the right decision and that a stroke of luck and fate had led me to meet her again. Perhaps I had been given a chance to correct my mistake. I called her and told her that I wanted to see her, to which she reluctantly agreed after my persuasion. When we met, I apologized to her and admitted that I had made the wrong decision by breaking up with her. If anyone was to blame for my weaker approach to training, it was definitely me. My goal was undoubtedly the most important thing to me, but a happy relationship should have inspired me to reach my goal faster. I suggested to her that she support me as I wanted to support her. I told her that if it was at all possible, I wanted to rectify all of this and start over. Through a long conversation, we smoothed things over and started the relationship again. Today, we are no longer together, but we have remained on good terms, and I don’t regret a second of our time together. We shared some beautiful and unforgettable moments.
In the story, I mentioned an example of how a woman cannot and was not at fault for the disagreement in the relationship. Of course, that’s just one example. An example from my personal experience? However, what if the woman is unhappy and constantly nagging? The first thing a man should ask himself in that situation is why she is behaving that way. Am I really the problem, is she exaggerating a bit, or is she simply like that as a person? If she’s like that as a person, okay. The relationship should either end or the man should accept the woman as she is and live with it. In any case, it’s the man who should make decisions and keep the whole situation under control. Without excessive escalations. Under control as much as possible. Decisiveness is something that women appreciate, and the more decisive a man is, the more attractive he becomes. Believe it or not, the happiest women are those who have a decisive man by their side.
