Philip Siddons
Published in
9 min readOct 12, 2021


14 questions determining your readiness for an intimate relationship.

Image by Everton Vilaon On

C’est moi! C’est moi, I blush to disclose.
I’m far too noble to lie.
That man in whom
These qualities bloom,
C’est moi, c’est moi, ’tis I.
I’ve never strayed
From all I believe;
I’m blessed with an iron will.
Had I been made
The partner of Eve,
We’d be in Eden still.¹

¹ C’est Moi lyrics from Camelot.

Before Lancelot got to the next stanza of his C’est Moi song, Guenevere immediately should have banished him from the castle grounds, saving herself and her hubby a hell of a lot of emotional pain.

[1] Does any part of this song from the musical Camelot, sung by Robert Goulet’s character Lancelot, resonate with you? How do you spell narcissism?

Intimacy is a depth of relationship that society encourages us to achieve with our significant others. Dictionary definitions describe intimacy as a close, familiar, and often affectionate or loving personal relationship with another. Discussion of this relationship often involves sexual intercourse. Sexuality is a central theme of most of today’s videos and novels. But to limit intimacy only to sexuality would be like claiming you took in a major rock concert but only heard the music on your car radio.

When a relationship is intimate, it brings us to a state of being that envelopes a realm of safety and unconditional acceptance. Consider this wonderful poem by Dinah Maria Mulock Craik.

Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person; having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but to pour them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, knowing that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then, with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away.²

² Dinah Maria Mulock Craik, A Life For A Life /

I’ve often written these words of the 19th-century poet and novelist on cards with my best wishes for couples in their new relationships. But what is the nature of Dinah Craik’s own relationship that inspired her writing? “Feeling safe with a person.” It’s about not being concerned with always having to say the right thing because the other person is smart enough to screen out non-important things and kindly hold on to what is…



Philip Siddons

Working to create egalitarian communities which seek gender, racial & economic justice. Contact Options: