Into the “Kamolika’s” World
Based on the true story of Love and Separation
It was the time of summer in India. The temperature was breaking all previous records every day. I was working in a service provider company at that time; I took one week off from work and took the train to Delhi. From Delhi, I took a bus to the valley called ‘Rishikesh’. A beautiful spiritual place at the start of ‘Himalaya-mountains’ although, this wasn’t my first time to visit Rishikesh but, I had previously come here two times before. So, it was quite easy to book a hostel and find an area to stay. I was so; casual and very often I used to drink and also used to eat non-vegetarian food, that time. I wasn’t very fond to feel a connection with god, only I went for, a vacation and some fun.
As soon I reach and checked in there in the late-night mustache hostel, I slept because was tired of the train and bus journey. The next day, the morning was very beautiful; the sun was spreading its light all around, I was on the third floor, there was a swimming pool in the lounge area, and sun rays were striking and reflecting towards my face- when I was sitting there on classic maple tree chair, it was so reliving after many days. I came down the street and started walking towards the “Lakshman-Jhula(Suspended Cable Bridge)”. Streets were full of people; because it was festival time, Holi (Festival of colors). Rishikesh, ‘Holi’ is quite popular in India, People come from all around the world to celebrate this festival and enjoy wonderful nature. Most of them come for Yoga and spiritual teaching but don’t have the intention to do Yoga, I went there for fun. As soon I crossed the bridge and reached to nearby steps down towards the river, I was participle of beautiful night aarti(prayer). Yes, this is the Holy River ‘Ganga’ that flows from Upper Himalaya all the way go through Uttrakhand, Uttar-Pradesh, Bihar, West Bengal, and finally merged in the way of Bengal. There is a narrow road going alongside the river from Lakshman Jhula( bridge) to Ram Jhula. On the way, there are lots of Ashram (Hermitage).it was late at night when I was going back to my hostel. On the way, I was scrolling through my dating app, and randomly, got matched with a profile. I started chatting; we asked each other’s details, it was luckily, she was living around 200 meters from my hostel. We exchanged our WhatsApp Numbers and there our conversation properly started. Actually, she was much older than me, and living there for around 4 months, she was from Mumbai. I was walking and texting her, I asked to meet for some time. Because I wanted to see her, some kind of force attracted towards her, I couldn't have control over my feelings. Well, she said; I’m ready to meet you! coming down to the street in 10 minutes. I saw from a distance she had a mask on her face. Her brown eye’s instantly hypnotized me; I went into an illusionist world with her…..
Kamolika; “there are lots of younger girls than me, why do you want to date a lady older than you?”
Me; yes you are right, there are lots of girls around here, I can easily find anyone for hookup. But I don’t know, what brings me here, but after meeting you, I feel a very strong positive vibe and connection. We are walking and talk, on the main road a few meters from her flat and my hostel.
She asked about where I staying and for how many days I came. …blah…blah
It was already late around 10 pm. Before, coming to my hostel, I asked her to meet tomorrow if she would like to??.
Kamolika; “tomorrow-I’m going to learn bike riding, my friend is coming to teach me because I wanted to do it for a long time but I’m not sure if he could come or not. I will inform you in any case”
Me; “yes, sure. I will be in my hostel, you can call me anytime”
In the afternoon I got a text from her, she said; he is not coming today, but we can meet anyway if you are free!…I was tired of walking around the valley, but I wanted to meet her anyway.
Me; “yes, we can meet”
I went out of the hostel, on the main road, and after some time she came and we started talking about the Himalayas mountains, spirituality, and about each other. There was a famous café ‘Little Budhha’ other side of the river. We were hungry, we didn’t have lunch. we went to the café.
Kamolika; “What do you want to eat?”
I looked at the menu and it was full of Western dishes. I am a huge fan of Indian food and haven’t tried Western dishes before. So, I told her to order anything she would like. She ordered a platter, full of veggies. After that, I ordered milk tea and she ordered coconut milk tea. She only used to drink coconut tea.
Me; “I wanted to ask you something if you don't mind.
Kamolika; “Yes, you can ask anything”
Me; “I want to know about your personal life, I mean- are you married or single?
Kamolika; “Yes, was married but now I am single. I mean divorcee!”
I said sorry to her, I took you in reminiscence. I don’t want to hurt her, anyway! So, I stopped at that question. No more questions!!!!
Kamolika; “What about you? Are you single or married?”
Me; “I am single. Now no plan to married but let’s see, it’s on time.”
Well, we had lunch. It was very hot in the daytime, I asked her to teach bike riding.
Me; “If you are free?- we can explore some places around the valley and if you want to learn bike riding, I will teach you.”
Kamolika; “Ok, that’s good actually, it’s not late yet, we have enough time, I will take you to some beautiful places :)”
We went to a rental bike shop on the main road. It was just a few meters from her flat. I took a pulsar 180cc Motorbike(Semi sports Indian motorbike). I wanted to take RE(Royale Enfield) classic350, but she said; I wouldn’t be able to hold this heavy bike. So the only other lightweight bike there was- Pulsar. I pish the self button and the bike started crancking. we went to the nearby fuel pump, after fueling I asked her- “Where to go first?”
Kamolika; “Well, first will go to my flat, I need to change my clothes.”
Me; “as soon we reached the apartment, I told her- I will wait here.
Kamolika; “No no, come with me. It’s hot very hot outside. I will take about 20 minutes- you can sit there until I get ready.”
This was the first time, I went to her place. It was on the 4th floor just a few meters from my hostel, where I was staying. It was a very nice view from her balcony, easily visible mountains, and the main road from her balcony. There was narrow but sufficient space in the balcony, and a setup of two pillows, and a mat, on the floor. She got ready in a few minutes; she was wearing a blue T-shirt and blue jeans, a light orange scarf, which she always took with her. The irony of the situation; we haven’t decided yet where to go???
Kamolika; “we can visit Neelkanth-Mahadev Temple; it’s about 25km from Lakshman-Jhula(bridge), but the road is not quite well!
I agree to visit the temple and we left the place. It was just we left and the weather started turning cloudy, I felt some drops of water on my face. The rear brake of our bike squealed and whenever I applied, she slides towards me!!! and sometimes I intentionally applied brakes because — I wanted her to come close to me. She clings to me until- I stop the bike midway. She was tightly holding me, it was just she and me- there was no other thing, all were hypnotized in the strong vibrational energy of love and ecstasy. I wanted her to hold for a lifetime in this posture.
“Oh rain started; I stopped our bike at a small Maggie point. it was a deep trench just behind the shop, it was an outstanding view of the flowing river Gangaji down below. we were able to see the very nice flow of water stream, the green reflection of trees, and the wonderful white sand on the riverside. She was also mesmerized by the view, had a melodious smile on her face, and was looking at the flowing river, and I was looking at her.
Me; “Why are you smiling? Is something weird on my face; she smiled.”
Kamolika; “No, nothing weird, you look absolutely fine.”
But in actuality, I was hypnotized by her eyes and wanted to behold her beauty until I die, without saying words I wanted to see her lifetime.
“Today I have seen a distant STAR, beside me. Her scattering light washed out all of my sins, I am free from all deeds. There aren’t you and me. It’s just one”
After some time; when the rain stopped, we left for the temple and in 1 hour we reached at Temple. It was a bit crowded there. We did Darshana (a kind of interaction, Seeing and Praying to the deity), and there was a small Dhooni (Fumigation), just outside of the temple. She asked, Pundit (priest) to allow us, to sit there for some time. Priest allows us to sit there; the meditative experience got there was- just a glimpse of divine force. I was totally absent in my body and connected to the self-illuminating causal light, we both transcended to the state of nothingness and the infinite. it was the first time when I experienced the divine feminine energy of her and consciousness of my own. After that, the priest gave us some Bhabuti(Sacred ash), and we took it and left the temple.
After one hour of the ride, we reached in Rishikesh Tapovan area. It was already evening 7 pm. I asked my hostel to extend the booking of my dorm but they did not have any dorm or room available, because it was festival season, so all the hotels and hostels were packed. I told her about my hostel booking; “Tomorrow morning I have to check out the hostel because there was no vacant room and dorm available for at least three days, all full.”
Kamolika; “Ok, We will search for a hotel or hostel whatever we found. I will be on the street in a few minutes, and we will leave for the valley”
I said, ok. After some time we mate and went to searching the hotel. We found some hotels with rooms available, but all were either very costly or not good.
Kamolika; “You don’t need to worry about the hotel, you’ve already seen my place, I have enough space at my place. If you would like to stay at my place, you can stay! I don’t have any problem.”
Me; “oh I don’t want to disturb your privacy but If you don’t have any problem, I will stay at your place. Really thanks, Kamolika:)”
Actually, inside my heart, I was so glad and thank to god for giving me an opportunity to come close to her. You can guess anything, but for me: every second with her was feeling like ‘Healing Raga (type of music). Every word from her mouth was seamlessly superconducting my heart. I had forgotten the surrounding world….
After all, we stopped searching for the hotel. It was already evening and we felt hungry, so asked her for any good restaurant nearby location. She suggests an Italian restaurant just a few meters from the main road. I barely eat Western dishes but she loves to eat Western foods, but she doesn’t like to eat sugar, even milk and sweets too. But, as I am a sweet lover and usually eat sweets after the meal. We enter the restaurant and sat there in the open dining area. The owner was an Indian family; who was running a restaurant since the time of COVID, before that the original owner of the restaurant was Italian, who used to run this place. The essence of authentic Italian food, I was able to smell.
Kamolika; “What do you want to eat?”
Me: “You decide, because I don’t have any idea about Italian food, so it’s better to choose you only. I only knew pizza and pasta.”
Kamolika; “Ok, we can order pizza and pasta, and a desert”
So, we ordered one medium size pizza, pasta, and dessert. When we were waiting for food; a couple was sitting inside the restaurant and enjoying a meal, and a mild romantic song was playing. I saw them romantic cuddling and my inner Romeo awakened, and the atmosphere was surrounded by the essence of flowers and the love sprayed all around in the atmosphere. I had so much told her, but not in words, it’s talk of hearts. she was feeling the same in her heart but was afraid to move on…
After dinner; we went to her flat, it was already night. She went to the washroom for changing dress after she came we sat in the chairs and started watching videos on her iPod. But my focus was on her only, I was watching her eyes, her face, and that sweetness in her words was like sugar in milk… And I was totally submerged in her intimating smile- I was drowning in her words. I forget myself and she was my existence at the moment. As I had swum in a flowing river of love with extreme joy. I wanted to say a lot to her, but I did not have the courage. As the night was getting denser, the distance between us getting shorter-She made tea for us; she made milk tea for me and coconut tea for her. With every minute-my intimacy was getting into the sky, and finally, I got the courage to approach her in a different way…
As we were sitting on chairs-I slowly moved my hands towards her, touched her fingers, and said; wow this nail polish looks amazing, and I grabbed her hands and started kissing. As she was waiting for my initiation- she also moved towards me and grabbed my head back, She also started kissing and biting; I slowly started moving to her neck and going below, kissing her back, and so on. We understood that now we have to keep moving forward, there is no going back now. We undressed each other; I felt that our breathing was synchronized-no other disturbances. The absence of an outer world and strong inner intimacy were getting strong. There were no more two, we were two souls but merged into oneness, and ultimately leads to oneness or nothingness. both were sipped slowly in the tavern.
‘Those kisses were not on our body, those were stamped on our “souls” for a lifetime
Previously; I had no such pleasure and experience in my life. I never meet any other woman like her. we totally surrender to moments. We were not dominating each other, but the connection of body and soul was amplified to such an extent that for the next three days, we were on the abode of extremity... Every touch of her felt thousands of fresh leaves of the flower. Every breath of her was the essence of thousands of jasmine flowers in a pot. Heading towards extreme splendid joy, I was caressing her ears with my lips and tongue; everything was subtle by the blowing hot breath of us behind the ears. Our intimacy was at a cosmic level that turns into oneness with the universe. There was no friction between our bodies as well as the soul. the physicality was nowhere present and only the experience and the feeling. Those four days of my life were the most beautiful and full of divine energy around us. Perfectly designed and executed by the supreme divine energy, which I did not understand what that was?…
When these types of situations arise in my life, I had no experience with how to handle that. But I was getting coded instructions from some higher dimensional beings to move into it and I don’t have the right explanation for the same, but there was something beyond my understanding.
Here we come to my story again; those four days of life spent with her were finished, and now it’s time to go back home. In my old life. There was a slow drift of wind swift in my ears and said; you should come back, and that was a very fragmented and melodious voice of hers. The presence of that ‘Creature’ ( Kamolika is my Creature) was there for centuries and she was waiting for the right soul for the execution of orders from higher dimensional authorities. The first glimpse I saw in the shadow of her was in the great holy river Ganga. Fragmented colors of nonduality, merged in every vortex of water. Matrix of movements in mountains, roads, trees, and structures was favorably indicating towards illusion but that was not an illusion at all.
I already had booked my train ticket from Haridwar to Bhopal and now it’s time to leave.
As I was traveling to my home by train all the moments with her kept coming in front of my eyes. feeling. The tremendous force of attraction towards her, a feeling from another world, shook my whole being to the core. My attitude towards life had completely changed. I had spent a week there in the beautiful plains and never felt better than this. In the lap of the rustling winds of the mountains, in the lap of a holy river, was busy trying to know the meaning. Rishikesh City was one of the main centers of faith of millions of devotees in this pilgrimage city, which is a pilgrimage site in the mountains from the banks of the river Ganges.
The journey! What we say about life, that’s what I refer to as a ‘Journey’. We, amongst billions of people around the world, see everyone has their own story to tell, and everyone’s story is more interesting and full of surprises. Everyone is different from others in their qualities, skills, behaviors, etc. but most interestingly-we also have some common qualities as ‘Human beings’ like Love, Humanity, Emotions, etc. This story revolves around LOVE and SEPARATION, the Spiritual aspects of a guy whose understanding of this world is driven by his passion to dig inside the boundaries of humans. This going to be more surreal with every experience of life getting him more interested in digging inside, parallel to this his own catastrophe with the world and the experience drive you through common chaos in life.
Tucked in! Everyone’s life in this world looks like same, and we felt like we are also like them, but most of us believe in others and start comparing ourselves with others. The problem starts arising, even without realizing us. The most fortunate human also seems stuck in this game of distant drums looks pleasant or desirability of others’ circumstances.
Every footprint of yours engraved on the ground, I want to make a cast of it, and every day I want to touch and feel you. I don’t want to miss a chance to come close to you, as you go further to me, I feel like my veins are stretching and bursting and I cannot stop it. When you come close to me; my body feels submerged into you, and unable to get away from you. The sense of touch, every part of you in mine, and I absolutely found my body absent, nothing is comparable to you.
Why am I so obsessed with you? Why am I pissed off myself when you are not with me? I remain in you, as a memory. I run away or you run away without saying goodbye??
“One goodbye! For all we had sufficient? No, never. How hard to detach myself from you, it was catastrophic. Every truth has faced the test of truthiness, isn’t it? So many questions, but non-of get answered???!!! Now the time of separation comes and the sun was downing behind the sea soar. The intimacy of being with you, every touch of your lips, is still engraved on the surface of my heart. Every kiss of you, pinned on my chest. The absence of light in the darkest room of my heart, the sparkling blow of your heartbeat synchronizing with my breath, a very truth of your presence in mine remains….”
It was common for me to get dream about you often. But with the more serious things happening now, I didn’t remember a time when I wasn’t thinking about you! For me, it was too overflowed that if I could not go to the walk riverside or do meditation, it would be difficult live normal life. I am alone making my path and the only thing I have is my ‘God’. yes!! there is someone standing there, showing me the light in the darkest forest on the path.
There is more to tell you, but I can’t tell you all at once, so, wait for a new chapter of further story. I will later tell the further story in the next chapter. Stay tuned~
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Originally published at https://yogalogy.substack.com.
