Introverts and Relationships

Why Introverts can be great partners?

Photo by Kate Darmody on Unsplash

Based on the personality trait, a person can be an Extrovert, Introvert, or Ambivert. The key difference is the source from which they draw energy. Extroverts draw their energy through people and spending time with them. Introverts draw their energy from Inward and Ambivert balances out on both.

Introverts are often misunderstood as shy, meek, eccentric, rude, having fear, and anxiety during social interactions. They are people who have social anxiety and shyness but that could be anyone, not necessarily a trait of an introvert.

In the power of Introverts TED talk, Susan Cain talks about the difference between Introversion vs Shyness. shyness is fear of talking, meeting, or avoiding people whereas Introversion is characterized by focussing on internal feelings, thoughts, and moods rather than external sources of stimulation. Introverts do enjoy a small group of social interactions but in their own time and space.

An interesting paradox is when people come across a Talkative Introvert. It’s often confusing for people to understand a chatty introvert. Though it’s true that some introverts love to lead the conversation and talk passionately about a topic that is close to their heart, it’s most likely with a small group of people whom they are comfortable with. I am certainly one of them. I enjoy talking if I meet a bunch of like-minded people and I take time to open up. Sometimes I prefer to stay quiet but that doesn't mean I do not value the other person. It’s usually because I am trying to understand where the other is coming from.

“Introverts may have strong social skills and enjoy parties and business meetings, but after a while, they wish they were home in their pajamas. They prefer to devote their social energies to close friends, colleagues, and family. They listen more than they talk and think before they speak, as often feel as if they express themselves better in writing than in conversation. They tend to dislike conflict. Many have a horror of small talk but, enjoy deep discussions” — Susan Cain

A few reasons why Introverts make great Relationship partners:

1. They are good listeners: Introverts genuinely pay attention while having a conversation. They often think before they speak, though they may not offer any immediate solutions — they have a way with words. For this reason, they could even play the role of a part-time therapist in their partner’s life. You can count on them when you are having a bad day.
2. They provide space and respect your privacy: Introverts generally need some time alone to recharge and reflect on their day. parties and social gatherings with huge crowd drain their enjoy levels, so they understand and respect their partner’s space and value their privacy when he/she chooses to hang out with other people and have a difference of opinion. They rarely tend to rub their opinions on others.
3. They believe in Quality time: Introverts love their quiet time. They enjoy solitude and it helps them unwind and recharge. This is one of the main reasons they understand and respect their partner’s interests and hobbies. It’s not about doing everything together, it’s about finding something mutual even that meant for a short period than spending 24 hours a day without truly enjoying it.
4. They make you their Top priority: Introverts and kind, honest, and generous souls. If they invite you into their personal space and show extra care by doing things that bring you joy that proves they love to have you in their life. They usually open to very few people. When they trust and love you they are often stand by you in your good and bad days.
5. They a source of wisdom and often lead thought-provoking conversations: Introverts love to read, learn, and often enjoy facts, new discoveries, and innovations and hate small talk. They love to dwell deep and have meaningful conversations about a certain topic or something that is important or interesting to their partner. They have a way of attracting people around them with their words.
6. They are self-aware and confident: Introverts usually self-reflect and dig deeper within themselves. They often know themselves really well — their emotions, feelings, mood, strength, and weakness so it becomes easy to talk to them when a certain habit or quality of theirs that bothers you. They are open to honest communication and are usually intrinsically motivated.
7. They are mysterious and attractive: You always feel there is something interesting about them. They open up only when they are comfortable around you by sharing a personal story or a creative hobby/activity that they are good at and that could be intriguing at times. The more you spend time with them, the more you discover that there is always more to them and that’s what makes them attractive.
8. They can often teach you how to not take anything for granted: Introverts are observant and keen on enjoying things that bring them joy. They usually know to slow down, live in the moment, and live a life that truly matters than falling in the race of what’s next or worrying too much about the future. If you are someone who is constantly thinking about what’s next, introverts are the best people to lean on as they always approach any situation with intuition and calm.
9. They are good at accepting their partner for who they are: Introverts usually value their privacy and share things on their terms. They believe that every person is different in expressing their thoughts and there is no one right way. They ask open-ended questions and learn about their partner by observing and paying attention. They do not believe in quick fixes and live with the idea that every person will learn from their mistakes and grow when they believe it’s time. They do not like to force or voice their opinions or ideologies on their partners.
10. They are in it for the long haul: Introverts are level-headed, wise people, and they weigh all pros and cons before committing to a relationship. They do like to rush things and love to take it slow. They are not afraid of commitment and believe in a lifelong relationship. They are hesitant towards dating or one night stands.

Introverts are reserved, calm, overthinking, and sensitive individuals, but they make great relationship partners as they do not assume and jump to conclusions. A relationship an introvert may seem challenging at first but with time it will work. Figuring out the balance and establishing a strong bond in any relationship requires patience and introverts are no different, but they offer far more understanding and love as they begin to trust and open up.