Is Tolerance A Virtue?
Does tolerance promote equality or subconsciously accentuate our differences?
“To tolerate implies your superiority over another. Your act of tolerance is like a parent humoring the whims of her kid.”
A close friend dropped this little nugget during a conversation some weeks ago. I countered, arguing that his view was undeniably cynical and gargantuanly myopic.
We dissected, experimented upon, and, somehow, brought in nihilism, discussing tolerance over the next… ten minutes. Our brains tickled, we moved on to the more ludicrous issues of global politics and conspiracy theories.
Later that evening and well into the next few days, the thought kept churning in my head. I found it profound, and frankly, disturbing. Why? Because I consider myself a tolerant guy. And I advocate tolerance. For people of different races, castes, ethnicities, colors. For the old, feeble-brained uncle. For the pain-in-the-posterior, bawling nephew.
I was taught to be tolerant, and unlike some other lessons, it stuck.
Yet, here I am feeling unnerved. A jarring noise; uneasy knotting of the stomach. The more I chew on it, the closer I come around to my friend’s point of view.
The Oxford English Dictionary defines tolerate as:
TOLERATE [tol-uh-reyt] (verb) — allow the existence, occurrence, or practice of (something that one dislikes or disagrees with) without interference.
The definition is followed by an example of the usage: a regime unwilling to tolerate dissent.
It hits me smack on the face. I feel blindsided. How did I not pick up on this? Look at the sentence structure. Regime obviously means the rulers — autocracy, democracy, and everything in between, have your pick. By extension, they enjoy superiority over the subjects.
Dissent is the tool of the subject. Whether the next in line, or within a party, or the poorest, voiceless, face in the crowd.
Using the word tolerate requires a sentence structured as — Superior tolerate inferior.
You may counter with a sentence such as We must be tolerant of all races, or We must be religiously tolerant.
Well… let’s break those down too.
We tolerate (or its derivative) someone/ something. It implies that WE are superior to whoever or whatever we are putting up with.
I wonder if this is a brilliant sleight of hand. Could it be social conditioning perpetrated over decades? Think about it. Asking your followers to be TOLERANT signals their superiority over those who must be tolerated.
Inclusivity built by tolerance is unsustainable. How long before the tolerant are through tolerating the tolerated? You need not look beyond your daily news feed to comprehend the growing instances of intolerance.
I don’t admit to having a quick fix. In fact, I won’t even go so far as saying I have a solution. But I do have an idea. And if you find it worth the effort, then you could adopt it too. For this idea to succeed, it needs you. Every single one of us needs to make an effort.
Here’s what I think we could try.
Replace the word tolerate and its derivatives with words like respect, or understand.
Instead of saying I tolerate his point of view, try saying I respect his point of view; or I understand his point of view.
Read that aloud. Either of those statements works without subliminally elevating yourself to a position of superiority. Equals having different opinions, beliefs, and practices. Simple.
Enveloped in a world of a rapidly evolving lexicon, we could even coin new words to replace tolerance without the trappings of the superiority complex. Here is a couple that I’ve come up with:
ORLEAN [awr-leen] (adj.) — a person respectful of an opposing viewpoint/ opinion despite disagreeing with it.
The orlean politician enjoyed a wave of support from his opponents.
ALTENT [awl-tent] (verb) — to acknowledge the merit in an alternate/ different viewpoint.
I altent to your theory, Jim. It’s interesting.
I don’t expect miracles overnight. Of course not. Breaking generations of social conditioning is not a Thanosian snap of the fingers. It takes time, effort and starts with one person. YOU.
A mindset change is a revolution begun. Even if that revolution involves just you, the world grows better for it.
Almost a year locked into our homes, with time to reflect, I hope we, as a society, stop using our differences to restrict, compartmentalize and marginalize. I hope moving forward, we embrace our disparities as what makes us human. Physical appearance, religious beliefs, political leanings, sexual orientation — we are an amalgamation of contrasts that is symphonious in the collective, but cacophonous in the pervasive.
