Is Your Child Feeling Anxious?
Here is a simple technique to help restore calm
“Nurse Young, my stomach hurts.”
This was the most frequent complaint I would hear in my elementary school nurse’s office. Sometimes it would be followed by vomit all over my health office floor. But more often than not, the little one in front of me was feeling anxious.
Teasing out the root cause of abdominal pain is a process that combines both art and science and a heavy dose of patience.
Once the likelihood of gastrointestinal illness is ruled out, the more challenging investigative process begins.
Often there is turmoil at home.
Sometimes a newborn sibling has hijacked the undivided attention this child once enjoyed.
A struggle with math or reading can often be the culprit behind a visit to the health office.
Understanding the cause behind the anxious feelings is always helpful, but not necessary. As a school nurse, my job was to return the child to class in an efficient manner to reduce their missed educational time. I had many techniques to help with anxious feelings.
Anxiety makes its appearance when we start to dwell on the future which we cannot control.
Global pandemics and political unrest certainly catapult us into that place of stress and anxiety.
This sense of unease impacts children as well.
Fight or Flight
When we are under threat, whether real or perceived, a cascade of hormones triggers the fight or flight response. When we encounter a bear, our body quickly gets primed to stay for battle or to run away from the life-threatening danger.
Our heart rate and breathing increase. Blood flow is directed away from the gastrointestinal tract to skeletal muscles to enable the body to take action.
It is an intricate system designed for our survival.
The fight or flight response is part of our sympathetic nervous system and serves an important purpose.
However, it is often on overdrive in our high-stress world. Prolonged stress can result in constant activation of the sympathetic nervous system. In a sense, we are in survival mode all the time.
Relaxation Response
We give our sympathetic nervous system a break when we pause and notice the present moment.
Stop.
Breathe.
Notice.
Breathing deeply elicits the body’s relaxation response. It pulls us from fight or flight and returns us to the unstressed state, sometimes referred to as rest and digest mode — the parasympathetic nervous system.
When we are frightened or anxious, our breathing becomes shallow.
Paying attention to our breathing brings us back to the present moment, away from the worries about the future.
Employing deep breathing is very effective for stress and anxiety. This is why mindfulness and deep breathing techniques have been increasing in popularity in recent years.
They work.
A technique to help children
I created a video to help young children understand this connection between the mind and body. I explain the fight or flight response and the relaxation response.
I let them know their brain is just trying to protect them from harm when they are feeling anxious.
Then I describe a simple breathing technique that children — and adults — can practice at any time. I use what I call my “breathing ball” (thank you Magic Box!) to demonstrate the expansion and contraction of our lungs. Then using my hand, I trace my fingers to show how we can breathe in and out.
While recording this demonstration I developed a newfound appreciation for those who teach mindfulness meditation and deep breathing. It is difficult to talk and teach while taking deep breaths!
You can watch the video here:
Responding to anxious feelings takes practice, much like learning to lift weights to build muscle strength. There is no quick fix for stress and anxiety.
No one becomes a bodybuilder overnight.
But even young children can learn how to build their stress response muscles and discover their inner strength. With practice, they can learn to pay attention to what their body is telling them.
When children start to feel anxious, they can hold out their hand in a stop sign. This hand can then remind them to take deep breaths.
Stop.
Breathe.
Notice.
“Nurse Young, my stomach isn’t bothering me anymore.”
Peace has been restored and the child is one step closer towards greater resilience.
All of us can benefit from the simple act of paying attention to our breathing. When children learn that there is something they can control when they are feeling out of control, they feel empowered. Imagine discovering this at a young age and building upon this skill.
Supporting the emotional health of our young children can build a stronger future for all of us.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this one on teaching children about the coronavirus here:
