It Takes a Village; Three Thoughts on Being the Village We Need
Now, more than ever, we need to think and behave like villagers.
“It Takes a Village…
…to raise a child”.
On face value, this little witticism is about child rearing and how parents need some support. Staying with the thought a little longer, and we begin to realise that raising a child — all of the security and protection we give them, the hopes and dreams for their future, their nourishment and nurturing — is really a deeper metaphor for the conditions of a solid, sound society.
The saying “It takes a village to raise a child” is a proverb that has gained relatively recent widespread recognition and popularity in various cultures around the world, including the title of Hillary Clinton’s 1995 book.
The saying’s origins, however, can be traced back to several West African communities and their traditional way of child-rearing.
In these African communities, the upbringing of a child is viewed as a collective responsibility. The entire community, including extended family members, neighbours, and friends, plays an active role in the child’s growth and development. This support system extends beyond the immediate family and includes teachers, elders, and other community members who provide guidance, discipline, and care for the child.
The idea behind this proverb is that children benefit from the diverse influences and wisdom of the broader community, not just their immediate parents or caregivers. It emphasises the importance of collaboration, shared values, and a strong sense of community in nurturing the next generation.
The Culture of Me
In one of the most recognisable openings in literature, Dickens shone a light on the damaging and harsh consequences of a society where self-interest and individualism run rampant.
“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness.” Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities
Nearly two hundred years ago, Dickens recognised the diminishing value of collective interest in Western society, borne out of the individualistic desire to improve one’s station in life.
Popular culture champions the individual. It always has, and likely always will. There is something within the human psyche that responds to the hero trope. It’s maybe simply a function of our ego.
The thing is, in societies that place the individual above the collective, ego is fuelled in ways we’re only beginning to understand. Rational thought begins to crumble. Our sense of morality becomes murky as we build stories that support our sense of self, and yet diminish — or wholly ignore — our sense of belonging.
Individualism has its merits, but an extreme focus on the self leads to disastrous consequences for both individuals and society.
Unchecked individualism creates flagstones to social fragmentation, alienation, and a lack of shared values or social cohesion. While individualism has its place in promoting personal freedom and autonomy, it becomes problematic when taken to an extreme that neglects the well-being of the broader community.
Political philosopher Hannah Arendt, considered by many to be one of the most influential political theorists of the 20th century, cautioned against the isolation and atomisation that can result from extreme individualism. She believed that authentic human freedom requires participation in a common world — that community is an act of collective engagement and society is built on active citizenship.
The Culture of We
Ubuntu is a Southern African philosophy that closely aligns with the it-takes-a-village approach to society.
Ubuntu is often translated as “I am because we are” and is used to express a fundamental belief in the interdependence of all people.
It represents a complex and multifaceted concept that encompasses the ideas of interconnectedness, community, and humaneness;
Interconnectedness — Ubuntu emphasises the idea that individuals are not isolated or independent entities, but rather are part of a larger, interconnected whole. It underscores the belief that one person’s well-being and actions are intricately linked to the well-being and actions of others. In this sense, the well-being of the individual is closely tied to the well-being of the community.
Compassion and empathy — Ubuntu encourages a strong sense of empathy and compassion for others. It promotes a moral obligation to care for and support fellow human beings. Through empathy and understanding, we are encouraged to help one another, share in each other’s joys and sorrows, and work together for the common good.
Cooperation and harmony — The concept of Ubuntu fosters cooperation and collaboration within communities. It encourages us to resolve conflicts peacefully, work together to solve common problems, and seek harmony within our interactions.
Respect and dignity — Ubuntu places a high value on respecting the inherent dignity and worth of every individual. It calls for treating others with respect, regardless of their background, and recognising the humanity in all of us.
Sharing and generosity — Ubuntu promotes the idea of sharing resources, knowledge, and support with each other. It discourages excessive individualism and encourages a willingness to help those in need.
Social justice — Ubuntu is closely tied to the pursuit of social justice and equality. It advocates for fair and equitable treatment of all members of the community and opposes discrimination or oppression.
The term Ubuntu that has its roots in several Bantu languages, including Zulu and Xhosa, societies that continue to thrive in smaller village units, as well as proudly finding a sense of belonging in a greater whole.
Ubuntu has had a significant influence on the social and political landscape in Southern Africa, particularly during the struggle against apartheid in South Africa. Figures like Nelson Mandela and Desmond Tutu invoked the principles of Ubuntu in their efforts to reconcile a deeply divided nation and promote healing and forgiveness.
The concept of Ubuntu has found resonance beyond Southern Africa, and has been held as a reminder of our shared humanity and the importance of community, compassion, and empathy in fostering a more just and harmonious society.
Life in the Big Village
Cities as we know them now — dense gatherings of millions of people — are a fairly recent phenom in the course of human history. The ‘village’ is the more natural community construct, for the sake of a society. A city is a better economic construct, for the sake of industry.
In gathering in our millions, we’ve stripped away some of the basic attributes of village life. We’ve become lost in the crowd, less connected with our direct neighbours, and more individualised in our concerns, expression, and contributions.
That said, I do think that ‘village’ life is still accessible to us, if we take on a village mentality.
Three thoughts to create a greater sense of village are;
1. Offer, and ask for, help. ‘Help’ is a basic function of society. Before we monetised the building of society, we simply helped each other. I mean really helped each other. We lend hands to the building of each other’s houses. We gathered in the collective harvest. We shared meals. We help raised the children, whether they were our own or not.
The corelation between ‘help’ and ‘self’ is a close one. We describe someone who is helpful and generous with their time and energy as selfless. Conversely, we label those who refuse to help as selfish and self-serving.
Selflessly offering help is like one part of a glue mix that binds society together. Wholeheartedly accepting help is like the other part. When those two parts mix, when a selfless act meets a wholehearted acceptance, society strengthens.
2. Treat everyone as a (village) neighbour. I’ve lived in small towns and big cities. I’ve lived in small houses and large apartment buildings. I’ve lived on leafy lanes and busy throughfares. In my experience, without doubt, the smaller the town and the leafier the proverbial lane, the greater the likelihood for a neighbour to say ‘hello’.
‘Hello’ inevitably springs to more conversation, and conservation leads to a depth of belonging.
A simple hello-and-how-are-you at the check-out counter. A thank-you-very-much-have-a-great day at the drive-thru window. Our daily perfunctory transactions become human interactions again when we see everyone as a village neighbour, and treat them as such.
We feel a sense of belonging, and we promote that for our ‘neighbours’, too.
3. WIIFU. A big part of my professional contribution is in the change management discipline. A tool that we change managers frequently use is the What’s-In-It-For-Me question, to try and understand how to get personal buy-in for, and engagement with, the change at hand.
I loathe this tool. Each time it’s used, it perpetuates an individualistic world view. It puts the ‘me’ at the centre of the change. My colleagues will argue that this is essential, as change happens at an individual level.
Equally essential, and almost never asked, is the What’s-In-It-For-Us question. The question that elevates the issues above the individual. The question that probes for the collective impact. The question that begins to promote a broader, societal view.
For the question to be asked and authentically answered, it must be asked of the whole village. It is a democratic question, and will generate a democratic answer — that is an answer that considers a wide range of consequences. It’s the question that truly recognises and deeply appreciates diversity.
I’ll freely admit to yearning for a simpler, more village-like existence. At this stage in my life, I’m no longer a Bilbo or a Frodo. I’m more like one of the hobbits that stayed in the Shire.
Life, however, is bigger and more complex than my fanciful Shire. I do believe, though, that however bigger my life is, a village-like way-of-being will serve me well.
I believe the same way-of-being will serve us well.
