ARE WE NEARLY THERE?
It’s Getting Harder To Not Despise The World
How can a planet so beautiful be so full of cock-knocking fucksticks?
I used to pray every night for world peace like a slightly hairy Miss World contestant
Not to god or anyone, just like,
BY THE POWER OF GRAYSKULL, MAY PEACE COME TO THIS PLACE.
Ok, ya got me. It was He-man, alright?
Sue me
Now I pray for an alien dictator like in the film Childhood’s End to land on earth, kill the politicians and make us do what is right for each other and the planet.
Im talking about a benevolent dictator.
Course, we are conditioned to see red flags, hammers, sickles and violent male tyrants when we hear the word dictator, but that’s because democracy needs us to think that way.
Democracy is like the rotting stumps under the crumbling old shack known as capitalism.
For centuries governments have lied to us
Everyone accepted that governments were lying bastards until Covid-19.
Now the same people rage with anyone who dares to have a conversation that falls outside of government advice.
Nothing like a drop of fear to turn the people on each other and have them suckle on the titty milk of their government for refuge.
And still,
- Companies make huge profits when another black person is arrested and put in jail.
- Companies make huge profits when drones fly over villages and blow small children to smithereens.
- Companies make huge profits when the opioid crisis spirals out of control.
When someone reports a war crime by the US government, is it okay to capture that person and hold them indefinitely without trial?
How long before MISINFORMATION becomes a criminal act?
And what then?
Will we be able to look back on this moment and say that we did everything to prevent our own censorship?
Can we no longer have discussions about anything that falls outside of government advice?
No, Frank, not if it endangers peoples lives.
Oh yeah? Well, guess what? Hunger endangers peoples lives to the tune of 9 MILLION deaths every year.
Do you know how much it would cost to solve? $300 BILLION.
Now, you know how many US dollars we have spent on COVID, which has killed 5 MILLION TOTAL?
$24 TRILLION
That’s correct, TRILLION.
It’s 24 THOUSAND BILLION in case you’re wondering.
Why aren’t we laying food at the feet of starving people and advising them to eat?
Everyone is spewing about misinformation endangering lives as if the government gives one tiny fucking speck of a shit about your life.
Wake the fuck up.
Do you still think that governments care about your feelings?
Why would you think that?
Have you been living in an underground bunker like Brendan Frasier in Blast from the Past?
EVERYTHING is about votes, money and power.
No one in power gives a flying fuck about your health, and democracy is a motherfucking failure.
Democratic governments don’t exist anymore. They are an empty vehicle for corporate fulfilment.
But we don’t notice.
We are too busy squabbling among ourselves — dumping each other into Box A or Box B — Are you pro or anti-vax? Are you left or right? Republican or Democrat? No chance you can be anywhere in between.
And we get sucked harder into virtual reality — a real-life prison where you can shag electrical signals leaving corporations free to do whatever the fuck they want to the real world.
And still, we stare at the screens.
It’s all we do. . We watch wobbling tits and pizzas and knobheads dancing on Tiktok with fake fucking filters on their faces because everyone hates themselves.
We stare, and we stare and stare.
Is anyone going blind yet? Notice you suddenly can’t read shit up close?
Don’t worry. Mass blindness is coming. And you can guarantee if any of the electronic manufacturers knew about potential blindness from their products, they would have damn well covered it up anyway.
That's how companies work. They don't have values, they have business rules.
And the alien dictator looks down, and his assistant Terry says, ‘Lord is it time to intervene yet?’
And the Great One says,
‘My dear Terry, without all of this, how will they ever learn? How will they ever understand that their money is killing them unless we let them take it to boiling point?’
Meanwhile, we fuck each other and kill each other and hate each other and still, the flowers grow in the meadow, the sun rises every day. The ocean flows, and the stars twinkle. And they will, long after we are gone. And maybe one day we will remember the pure land that we put to death through our own greed and stupidity.
Even the people who stop and meditate have turned it into an industry.
Eckhart Tolle has the copyright on the present moment.
The Power of (making vast amounts of cash from selling the) Now.
Roll up, roll up, get your ancient spiritual knowledge
Only $263 for a good view of Eckhart at the Paramount Theater.
But be quick. It only holds 2,807 people.
You do the maths (or math if you are American). Here’s a clue. He makes somewhere between $250,000 and $750,000 for a couple of hours of shit talk.
But Frank, where are the authentic spiritual warriors to save us from this mess?
You can find them all on Insight Timer or Headspace or some other shite pitching their latest courses about how they became omniscient when they trod on a piece of lego during a standing wank.
Okay, but what about Elon Musk? Isn’t that bastard saving us?
Seriously, don't get your hopes up Motherfuckers. Elon has his own internal rollercoaster to deal with.
Fuck it all. I’ve taken my protein pills, and I’ve put my helmet on.
Not that any of us writers are going anywhere.
You have to have billions of dollars and be a greedy, hoarding cunt to take the ride to Mars in a dick ship.
If this were the sixties, we would all be out marching, but the narrative has been turned against that now too.
If you protest in 2022, it seems you’re some right-wing centrist trucker cock licking Trump-supporting smeghead. That's the fucking narrative we have been sold anyway. So we won’t protest.
In the battle for our freedom from governments, we scored a belter of an own goal there. Click here if you don’t know what an own goal is.
So, I guess there’s nothing left to do but keep writing funny shit until the whole shithouse goes up in flames. ALRIGHT ALRIGHT.
Here’s a story about bondage.
