It’s Time To Stop Acting Like A Kid: 12 Signs of Emotional Maturity
However old we might be, we can never quite consider ourselves to be emotionally mature. A person may be 50 years old and still be unable to communicate and react impulsively like a 4-year old child.
In our adult bodies remain the childish behaviors that we may subconsciously manifest in our relationships, our workplaces and in other social situations.
Some of us might have been the sulky partner, the overtly sensitive friend, or the angry co-worker (I know I have been). And we may not realize that due to this inability to manage and understand our own emotions, we are also unable to understand and maintain good relationships with others.
Unlike intelligence, emotional maturity comes with a greater sense of intuition and self-awareness. But like most things in life, it can be learned and improved. With much effort and patience with ourselves, we can grow emotionally, be at ease in expressing our feelings and be able to solve conflicts brought about by the lack of understanding.
Here are some helpful signs for evaluating your emotional maturity and even those around you:
1. You can easily identify your emotions
Have you ever been asked how you are and you just stare at the person blankly, not knowing how to respond? (insert cricket noise)
Or maybe you reply with an “I don’t know” or do a classic shrug? 🤷
It seems like a simple question, right? And although it is not mandatory to pinpoint how you are feeling each moment, certain situations may require you to convey your emotions in a more objective manner.
This may be best exemplified during an argument with your partner. Instead of keeping you partner in the dark by not saying anything, or impulsively getting angry, you both may have to sit it out and ask how one’s words or actions affected the other.
This can save you both the emotional drain and make way for expressing yourself better, therefore, opening space for validation and being understood.
2. You can easily say “No”
At some point, you may find yourself saying yes to things and people you don’t necessarily like and vibe with just to please them.
I know it might even seem easier to say “Maybe” or “We’ll see” rather than a straight up “No, I’m not interested”, but the ability to be more direct can save you that unnecessary awkward moment at a party that you may just regret going to later on.
This can help you set healthy boundaries for yourself in order to make better decisions, choose better friends and activities, and to effectively protect your emotional well-being.
3. You can own up to your mistakes and learn to forgive yourself
More often than not, people don’t want to take the blame or admit that they did something wrong. Some people even start blaming others, make excuses or defend themselves aggressively so as not to feel shame and guilt.
If you have been raised to perfectionism, this might be harder to conquer in later life. As a result, you may become too hard on yourself. In these moments, it is important to remember that everybody makes mistakes and it’s no use beating yourself up for something you can make up for.
To be able to admit that you’ve done something wrong is a courageous choice and it shows how you value others more than your ego. It is shedding that coat of pride and offering solutions instead of sulking or worse, passing blame and ill-will to others.
4. You take time to analyze the situation before making a decision
Trust me, I know how tempting it can be to press that bright red button in front of you.
If you know how to pause before taking decisions however small they may seem, then congrats — you are stepping up the emotional maturity stage.
For example, before making that huge step of moving in with your partner, you need to make sure they’re into cats as much as you are and most importantly, you convince them to do a psychopath test (maniacal laughter). Kidding aside, for milestones like this, it is crucial to both be psychologically prepared for the huge change coming your way.
5. You have an effective communication style
People who are good communicators learn that people are not mind readers. They can’t easily predict what you want to say or how you’re feeling.
You realize that in order to be understood, you need to articulate your emotions through words. It might be frustrating and even scary to speak up for yourself but with a willing ear to listen, you can get your message across with much ease and confidence.
Speaking calm and clear about your intentions and opinions will cast away unwanted tension and conflict.
6. You are self-aware
Self-awareness might be one the hardest things to achieve nowadays. It’s so easy to lose sight of who you are due to external influences of the digital age.
Being self-aware means knowing how to deal with yourself and problems through actively applying solutions fit for your own growth.
You know yourself well enough to know in which aspects you need to improve on. You are able to distinguish what makes you upset or happy.
Having a better sense of oneself also means being aware of your surroundings and you strive to have better, meaningful relationships.
7. You are a good listener
Do you think friends and other people can easily confide to you? Then you’ve earned the good listener badge. You have acquired the ability to listen without prejudice and provide a safe space for those around you.
Being a good listener makes you more empathetic and compassionate which are all essential characteristics for emotional maturity.
8. You have the ability to forgive others
You may have experienced being mistreated by someone very close to you: a parent, a partner, a friend. And however badly they’ve hurt you, you’ve summon up the courage to forgive them even if that person didn’t blatantly seek apology from you.
You realize that there is no point in remaining in a place full of hurt and suffering and that there is only room for moving forward. You know that you can always just start again.
9. You celebrate the little things
There is beauty in the simplest things; a small walk in the park or nice cup of tea. You smile at the fact that for every small milestone is a learning that can’t be taken away from you. You don’t wake up with the goal to write a whole book within that day or finish 100 paintings.
You know that great things take time and you just do what you can now, knowing it’s enough.
10. You are at ease with being yourself
Our age is filled with insecurity. Due to social media, we find ourselves continuously comparing our lives with people on Instagram who are enjoying their weekend in Bali or looking fabulous with their friends at Coachella.
It’s never easy finding that confidence to be yourself, to look in the mirror and be convinced that there’s nothing wrong with you. But once you see through yourself, it’s amazing what more you can do and how easily you can relate to others.
11. You can accept feedback and criticism
Let’s face it, taking criticism is never easy… but maybe it should be.
Accepting feedback from others shouldn’t put you down but instead should be taken constructively as a fuel to be a better version of yourself. It reflects your openness to the opinion of those around you and your willingness to actually learn from them.
You realize that not everyone wants to destroy you when they say “You should speak out more” or “You should be more confident”. More often than not, they just want to help.
12. You accept your past
Our distinctive past inevitably affects how we behave as we grow up. You may notice how you are easily triggered if one raises their voice or how you become very sensitive when your friends discuss about domestic violence.
You are aware of the effects of a traumatic childhood or a toxic relationship which could have resulted to the way you react to present events. The full acceptance of your imperfect story helps you understand yourself better and choose not to rely on your first impulses.
Cheers to self-development, fellas!✨
