Just Chill: Shit Happens
I was crossing a street this morning, and the WALK sign was on. This other fellow was crossing at the same time. A car turned into the street at that moment and cut both of us off. Pedestrians have the right of way in this country, and not least of all we actually had the green WALK sign brightly lit. The driver was in a hurry, perhaps. As I resumed crossing, the person next to me launched into a wave of obscenity aimed at the driver who by now was a good twenty metres away. I walked on. Last time I checked, the fellow was still screaming at the back of the car.
His anger was understandable, I suppose. The driver could have hit either or both of us. And she’d absolutely be in the wrong. But by the time the f word shot out of his mouth, the car was long time. And the driver, secure in two tons of metal and plastic, and with the windows rolled up, probably wouldn’t hear him anyway. Venting is not necessarily a bad thing. Better that than to physically bash someone. But I do wonder.
I wonder why the driver turned when she did. My fellow street crosser appears to assume that the driver either intentionally cut us off, ignoring the rules of the road, or that she was an inadequate driver who was perhaps distracted or simply careless. And that justifies his outburst. Maybe he’s right.
But we’ll never know, will we? I mean, there may be other explanations for her behaviour. She could be rushing to an emergency situation. I don’t know, maybe she’s about to give birth. Or she’s a hostage negotiator hurrying to diffuse an armed hold up. It’s also possible that she’s a visitor from another country unfamiliar with our traffic regulations, and that where she came from cars always have the right of way. Full stop. Or maybe it was just an honest mistake. The kind of mistake that can cause a lot of damage, no doubt, but the kind of mistake that everyone makes now and then. Judge not lest ye be judged, and all that. And I’m sure there can be other explanations as well.
Screaming at the driver serves no real purpose, other than perhaps to make me feel better. But does it even do that? I’d think vociferous eruptions would actually make me feel worse afterwards. It’d get me all worked up, for one. And the negative vibes would likely carry over to other things and make me interpret everything in a more negative frame. Besides, what if it turns out that she has a dying person in the car and she’s rushing to the hospital or something? Won’t I feel quite rotten if that were the case?
And this reminds me of something that happened yesterday. I was leaving the building, and didn’t realize there was a lady behind me. She had her bike with her (not riding it, but pushing it along so she could ride it when she got out). If I had seen her, I’d have held the door open for her. But I was busy fussing with my headphones and didn’t notice her at all. Not until she said, “Thank You!” when she assumed I was going to hold the door open. At that I turned, but too late. The door had closed and hit her bike just as I grabbed the door handle.
No major damage caused, thank goodness. I apologized, and felt pretty bad. “Oh, it’s okay,” she said. And we went on our merry way. She could however have interpreted this little incident in myriad ways. Maybe I’m just a rude bastard who doesn’t give a damn about anyone else. Maybe I hate cyclists and would do anything to damage someone’s bike. Maybe I intentionally closed the door because of something personal — that I hated her face, for example. Who knows. We’ve all experienced following someone who couldn’t be bothered to keep the door from slamming in our faces. Or people who walk right by without acknowledging the fact that you held open the door for them. Or people who charge into a lift before people inside got out. Insert any other social situation you can think of. I’m sure we’ve all encountered these things.
So why do we seem to automatically assume that there’s malice involved? What evidence do we have that the other person is an arse? Why do we assume it’s intentional?
It’s better to just let it go. Don’t assume anything. Nothing to see here. Nothing really bad happened. It’s just one of those things, you know. As Patrick Swayze said in Point Break, “Shit happens.” We’d be doing ourselves a favour if we just chill. Think happy thoughts. And let us all just get along.
“Don’t underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can’t hear, and not bothering” — Winnie the Pooh
