Key Growth Areas for Anxiously Attached Individuals
In a world where it would be great if we can all live securely in love, anxious and avoidant attachments ruin the fun. The two attachment styles, coined by John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth now plague 21st Century romance. It’s not uncommon to hear a friend talk about their attachment issues or the reason their dates aren’t leading anywhere because of someone else’s.
The anxious attachment style describes individuals who attach easily to their partners and rely on them repeatedly for reassurance and comfort. It is believed that a caregiver relationship where the child’s independence wasn’t championed, or one where the parent was sometimes there and sometimes not is the reason for this attachment style.
As the infant’s mind sees everything as relating to themselves, they see this inconsistency as a reflection of their worth. They, therefore, don’t learn and aren’t taught to champion their independence instead turning to their relationships to find value. The inconsistency leads to a lack of trust in relationships and their low-self worth creates anxiety when there is distance or trouble (actual or supposed) in the relationship.
Despite how difficult managing attachment styles can be, as they’re often conditioned over a decade(s) worth of growth, you can change your attachment style. It just requires effort…
