Learning from Past Friendships: A Story of Trust and Red Flags
Let me tell you a story from about ten years ago. There was this guy I knew. I remember the first time we met. It was at church, I think. We were around the same age. He started talking to me about school, family, and everything else that seemed okay to chat about. Eventually, we started hanging out outside of church. We talked about everything. He really loved school and would talk about it non-stop. I remember him showing me his school reports at the end of every semester. He even helped me with some of my assignments. Over time, we became best friends, like brothers. We were very close.
Then, one day, I remember it was around October 2019, he came to church and asked to use my phone to call someone. I told him I didn’t have any credit, and he seemed a bit upset. He went to ask a girl if he could use her phone, and she agreed. He said he wouldn’t go far and then suddenly ran off with her phone. The girl was worried and knew I was his friend, so she asked me to call him. I tried, but he didn’t answer. After about two hours of waiting, I went home and called him from another phone. He answered but hung up when I asked about the girl’s phone. I tried calling him many times after that, but he never answered. I haven’t seen or talked to him since.
I’m going to share the red flags I noticed about him, but I ignored them at the time because I believed he was religious and a good person, mainly because he excelled in school.
1. Constant lying: This is difficult to notice because many people lie about things they didn’t do or events they weren’t part of. To catch someone like this, act as if you believe their lies. The more you act like you believe them, the more they’ll lie. Don’t show that you know they’re lying. If you make them think you believe them, they’ll lie about things that are easy to detect. This is how I do it, but if you have another method, do what works best for you.”
2.If someone exhibits materialistic tendencies, such as failing to acknowledge borrowed money or belongings, it’s troubling. For instance, he borrowed money from me, promising repayment, but never followed through. When approached about it, he becomes defensive, avoiding the topic altogether. It’s concerning when trust and mutual respect aren’t upheld, especially in matters of lending and repayment
3.If someone doesn’t treat you as kindly as you treat them, Imagine this: you’re always there for someone, lending a hand whenever they need it. But when the tables turn, and you’re the one in need, they’re nowhere to be found. You need to cut off people like this.
4.If someone doesn’t care about your goals or dreams, it’s concerning. It shows they might not truly care about you. It’s important to surround yourself with people who support and encourage your ambitions.
5.Always blaming others for their problems is a big red flag. It shows they don’t feel guilty and try to pass blame. Someone like this can’t be trusted
