Lessons I have Learned During My Journey Of Loving Myself
“We must fall in love with ourselves. I don’t like myself. I’m crazy about myself.” Mae West
I have repeatedly learned about the importance of loving myself. Over the years, I have fallen in and out of love with myself. I have realized that when I fall out of love with myself, it only leads to destruction for the rest of my life.
When I was in High School and College, I always wanted a boyfriend, and I probably could have had one, but I was particular about what I wanted, so it never worked out. It also probably didn’t help that I was a romance junkie with writing and reading. I learned the hard way that life was no romance novel.
As I went through college, I learned things I liked and disliked about myself and went accordingly. When I finally reached the point of loving myself and being happy with just being by myself, I ended up in a relationship. It’s funny how it works out. I learned a lot about myself in those 3.5 years, and when it ended, I went down another spiral of not loving myself again.
Over the past year, I have worked on being me and building up that love I had for myself once upon a time. I have learned a few lessons along the way.
Lesson 1: Listen to Your Feelings
For the longest time, I was someone who ran from their feelings. I was distracting myself with reading, drinking wine, watching tv, pretty much anything to take away my feelings of depression or anxiety. Anytime I was distracted, it was gone for a little while, but it always came back and sometimes worse. In therapy, I learned that it is okay to feel however you feel and to let it be there. I have been doing that a lot more lately, and it has helped me feel better faster.
It’s almost like a bully, and you must ignore it to make it stop. I have been a lot freer feeling since I started doing this. Don’t get me wrong, I still feel down sometimes, but I don’t get as wound up as I once did.
Lesson 2: Figuring Out What Makes You Happy
I have learned that the minute something doesn’t make you happy, it’s time to move on. But, of course, it is way easier said than done. When I say you aren’t happy, I don’t mean just a moment; every time you do something, you are miserable; it’s time to let go. It can be from activities to work.
For a while, I loved my podcast. It made me happy interviewing people, but it didn’t feel as fun or exciting to me at some point. It drained me all the time, and I wasn’t going anywhere with it anymore. So I decided to put a pause because I knew I was no longer putting my best foot forward.
This is also the time to try new things, join new groups and live your life because the more you make yourself happy, the more in love you will be with yourself.
Lesson 3: Be Your Own Best Friend
This is important because if you aren’t your biggest fan or your ride or die, how can anyone else be. I am still learning to be my own best friend. It is a struggle every day because I am also my worst critic. It’s like the angel and devil on your shoulder.
During this quarantine, I have had to learn to be happy just by being with myself. Even though I was living with family and saw friends, there were days I don’t have something to do, and this is the time that’s important for me to be okay with just being.
Lesson 4: Getting Rid of the Toxic Energy
This is probably the hardest thing I had to do over the years, whether it is a toxic relationship with a significant other, friends, family, or even a job. The more you surround yourself with toxicity, the less likely you will truly find yourself. It’s hard sometimes to know that you are surrounding yourself with toxicity until it’s too late, but know it is never too late to get out of it once you realize you are in it.
These are just a few of the lessons I have learned along the way that have helped me, and I hope they can help you.
