Let death be your mentor in 2022
Forget about the gurus and the self-help industry and give in to the human condition: mortality
Almost all of us have been there: the self-help aisle. A boost from a motivational speaker helps a lot in certain situations. Sometimes you need Tony Robbins or Brené Brown to get you on the right track. But 2022 might be different. It will be a year still primarily influenced by mutations of the Corona-Virus. We never thought we would be at this point at the beginning of the pandemic. Motivational speakers can seem outdated since our opportunities have been cut short. There is no venturing out into the world for most of us. So perhaps it’s time for a change. And there is a motivational speaker we can access anytime: death.
A fact of life — scary and peaceful
Death is available to us more than ever. Many people experienced the unexpected shortening of life in their family and their circle of friends through the pandemic. The pandemic made us see death, but it was clear from birth:
I will die.
You will die.
We all will die — eventually.
This is a scary thought. How will I die? Will I see my grandchildren growing up? It is undoubtedly frightening and easy to suppress in the everyday bustle. Wouldn’t it be better if we were immortal? Or if we at least pretended to be in everyday life? After all, we can deal with death and illness when the time comes.
I would argue that this is a legitimate attitude but banishes a valuable dimension from life from which we have much to gain.
Immortality: a cautionary tale
Immortality has been on people’s minds not only since scientific breakthroughs in fields such as human genetics. There was a lively debate in mythology about immortality’s effects on people even in ancient times. In various myths, it is played out what it means to be immortal as a human being. One example is Thitonos. He was the husband of Eos, goddess of the dawn. She loved him so much that she requested eternal life for him from Zeus. This was granted to her. Since she had overlooked, however, to ask at the same time eternal youth for Tithonos, he became older and older. He shrunk at last so that at the end, only his nagging shrill voice remained.
A frightening example that burned itself into my childhood consciousness is that of Prometheus. He brought fire to humanity, which enraged Zeus greatly. He had Prometheus chained to a pillar and sent him an eagle that ate his liver every day, renewed at night because the Titan Prometheus was immortal. In the worst version of this legend (by Hesiod), the punishment of the chaining remains eternal.
Nobody can say whether we would have a better life if it would last forever. Of course, we would have more time to get things right, but the end also is a horizon that gives us the chance to grow. It matters what we do, how we act, and whether we find peace with our lives.
Death Robbins
The end gives us the chance to make the best of what we have. That doesn’t mean you have to change your whole life — that’s the starting point with the guru and self-help entrepreneur. Just realizing that we can’t know whether this is our last day changes the whole perspective. It makes you think of how beautiful creatures your children are (behind their grimace of constant tantrums). It shows me how lucky I am to have an apartment (even the tiny dark hole I have to pay rent for). And how insignificant my current weight and the emerging wrinkles on my forehead are.
Death gives you a gentler outlook than the average guru. It is not a reminder of what you did wrong, where you failed, or the career you have to plan. It is more about the moment. What if you would die tomorrow: would that change anything? I wouldn’t argue that career choices do not matter, but they are not as important as they sometimes seem.
Thinking about death doesn’t imply hours of contemplating. It’s more about awareness throughout the day or week. How would I want to handle a situation knowing my time is not infinite?
It softened my approach to life, made me realize what kind of person I am, let me respect my character and appreciate little things. I don’t expect to wonder about the Elon Musks and my Crypto investment choices on my deathbed.
This thought carries a revolutionary spark. People matter. How you treat them matters. How you treat yourself matters. You might not be able to take things back.
