Let’s say you are sitting in the shotgun position, trying to find something to compliment on your newly passed wife’s driving with a trembling heart while going to the supermarket. She comes to the car park, and about to turn left onto the one-way entry. Suddenly a car speeds out through the point that was supposed to be their no-entry. So, your wife breaks hard at the last moment and presses the horn out of shock and anger. And in response, what do you get? An apology? Any regret on the stupid driver’s face? No. As soon as she horns, the stupid driver stops his car and yells to your hijabi wife, ’You Paki!’ As if it’s her fault to drive onto the one-way entry.
Now, you are in shock, too, because you could feel the chill of thinking about the near-missed collision that you were fearing. Then you get your head out and protest, ‘She’s Bangladeshi, you k***head!’ The guy’s friend holds his shoulder and says, ‘This guy’s a prick mate!’ And they drive off.
Your wife looks at you with further shock to see your way of handling the situation. You, on the one hand, trying to calm your self from the excitement and explain your response with confidence on the other. You remind her about the incident that took place at the local train station a few months ago; you and she just got off the train, and it started to move off, a man and his wife/girlfriend looked at you through the train window, and he reached his hand out with a piece of bacon and shouted, ‘Do you like bacon? Do you like bacon?’ And then he looked at his partner with pride to show the greatest achievement of his life. But you were shocked for a totally different reason. Because you just remembered that the couple had two little kids with them. You and your wife waved and smiled at them when they looked and smiled at you. Their parents seemed a bit uncomfortable, but they too smiled at you. But as soon as they were in a safe distance, they showed their true selves. You were thinking about the message the kids were receiving from their parent’s hatred.
Anyway, what was your wife’s response? ‘Only if it’s halal mate!’ You raised your eyebrows with surprise and feel proud of her, and say, ‘That’s my wife!’
Your wife sees the point and calmly park the car, and you two proceed to the supermarket. After a few months, another incident happens. While you were driving to go to watch a movie, a bunch of lads spit at your car and show their middle-fingers, as if they have done something great. Your wife keeps driving as she knows there is no point of confronting these pricks who were waiting for some ‘fun’.
These incidents affect your pregnant wife’s mind, whose emotions are fluctuating every week. As a result, the British born and raised girl starts fearing every dodgy-looking white male. Mostly, she tries to run away when she sees a group of lads walking towards her, regardless of their intentions. And you are there to assure her that not all the people are evil. There are always some rotten apples amongst the good ones. Though you know that she already knows it well, but the trauma had left its scar in her mind, and it is not going to fade away any sooner.
So, what do you do? You accept it and try to ignore it. But it’s not, all the same, every time and with everyone. You just read the news of the death of George Floyd. A police officer in America killed the man in broad daylight who was not even resisting his arrest. It gives a flick in your head about the incident that happened with you and your two-year-old daughter about three years ago. You were pushing the pram and all of a sudden a water bottle missile landed next to your daughter’s pram, missing her for inches. You looked up to see a bunch of white guys drove off while yelling, ‘Paki!’
You check on your daughter immediately after getting out of the shock, to see if she is okay. Then you report it to the police, give them the registration number, make and the colour of the car. Even you tell them the incident happened across the road of a pub, where a CCTV camera was pointed to the spot. The police get back to you after a few weeks to tell you that, the pub manager said the CCTV camera only covers the main door, but you remembered that the camera was fitted to catch a broader view. The police carried on saying, the owner’s brother’s friends drove the car, and he said he had no clue about the incident. So, the police had to conclude the case. But you were astonished to think, why the camera’s angle had changed after the event? Why did the police not ask for the footage, to assure that nothing was recorded except for the door? Why did they not question the car owner’s brother and his friends?
Failing to gain the answers and to assure her security, you just turned your daughter’s face towards you, even though she had cried to see the front view. Since it haunts you down to this day, you are too scared to open the car window on her side.
So, you just try your best to embrace racism as a part of life and laugh it away!
